Shit You'd Like to Confess V3 I'm not into incest but my sister is hot - General

I almost created some dating site profile today but i realized this is just too scary. I guess This is what happens to me when i don't fap for 2 weeks.

Dating sites are not effective unless you follow these steps: 1. Be Attractive 2. Don't be unattractive

Rarely I play with the racing line on braking only, I'm a fraud I know. I love the smell of petrol. I've worked in a garage a few times and it just smells so good I loved it. I shit like 5-7 times a day on a good day because surgery.

[QUOTE=MissingGlitch;50257140]Dating sites are not effective unless you follow these steps: 1. Be Attractive 2. Don't be unattractive[/QUOTE] Well at least i have to try because if won't try nothing will probably ever happen and i'll be alone forever, fapping in the darkness.

[QUOTE=Trebgarta;50257253]I shit once every 2 days and apparently this is too little but nothing feels wrong by me[/QUOTE] That is rather strange. I often end up shitting more than once a day. Do you eat regular meals?

[QUOTE=Trebgarta;50257253]I shit once every 2 days and apparently this is too little but nothing feels wrong by me[/QUOTE] You think that's bad? I used to shit like once a week.

[QUOTE=Trebgarta;50255717]Go to a neurologist dude your brains profanity and internet forum centers may have multiple sclerolepus [sp] not phasing out like that ever would be an abnormal human trait [/sp] [editline]4th May 2016[/editline] Especially strangers. -collecting courage for 15 minutes- "Hello?" "Hi, is your apartment for rent still avaliable?" "Yes, but who is this?" "Oh I forgot my name uhuh-" "Pardon me?" "Oh sorry my name is xxxx" "Sorry I didnt catch that" "Uhhm, sorry what?" "I didnt catch your name" "Oh kill me" "What-" hangup I am just grateful I am not still on accomodation-hunt. I'd love face-to-face after appointment if people ever answered their emails. Whatsapp is thus the best.[/QUOTE] After taking a job that was literally calling and getting called by strangers everyday, I can finally overcome that anxiety of talking to strangers on the phone. Or really talking to strangers in general. Once you start doing it, you realize that nobody really cares about you beyond getting them or yourself what you need. Even if you are being awkward as shit, most people won't say anything about it.

[QUOTE=Vodkavia;50257331]I medically need to have my wisdom teeth removed by a dental surgeon because of how they grew in. I'm scared to death about surgery, but that still pales in comparison to my angst over how my mom is going to use it as a weapon against me until I die.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=The golden;50257841]I too had to have all 4 of my wisdoms removed via dental surgery. Had to be put out cold for it. They will put an IV into your arm as you sit in the chair and you'll start to feel really sleepy and dopey. And that is pretty much all you will remember post-op. You'll wake up in some recovery area with a mouth full of gauze feeling like a truck just ran over your head. You won't feel any pain because they also give you painkillers through that IV line but you will feel pretty awful from the anesthesia. Make sure you have plenty of gauze at home because you will need to keep changing it out as it gets too bloody. Go home after and get some rest and relax. They'll most likely prescribe you painkillers and antibiotics. Take the antibiotics fur sure and the painkillers if you need to. Don't do anything to agitate the wound sites, not even with your tongue - do not touch them. The stitches will start to come out on their own in a few days and you'll be able to eat soft foods again soon. It's not that bad. You'll be alright.[/QUOTE] To add on to this: you'll be basically useless for the day of the surgery and the next day or two. As in, you may never remember anything that happened, but that's probably good because it will just hurt. Once I was awake again, I couldn't remember how I got home. My parents say I was acting out of it, and I don't blame them, because the earliest thing I can remember is coming to in a recliner in my living room. The next few days were filled with basically doing nothing. I think I went back to class after 5 days, and they gave me 2 weeks' worth of vicodin, which helped a bit. (I don't know what they use now, I don't think they're allowed to prescribe it anymore.)

I'm not scared of the procedure for getting my wisdom teeth out so much, I'm more scared of shit I might say while I'm loopy. There are things I don't want my parents to know that I may not be so secretive about when I'm drugged. :v:

[QUOTE=Starlight 456;50258868]I'm not scared of the procedure for getting my wisdom teeth out so much, I'm more scared of shit I might say while I'm loopy. There are things I don't want my parents to know that I may not be so secretive about when I'm drugged. :v:[/QUOTE] This is why I don't want to get my tonsils removed this late in the game. I don't want to wake up and tell my parents to fuck themselves and start talking about memes

[QUOTE=Starlight 456;50258868]I'm not scared of the procedure for getting my wisdom teeth out so much, I'm more scared of shit I might say while I'm loopy. There are things I don't want my parents to know that I may not be so secretive about when I'm drugged. :v:[/QUOTE] All I remember was when I woke up I was in a wheel chair and was like "Whoa, how did this chair get wheels on it?" while I was high as a kite and got to stay at home watching TV and movies for a couple days. It was sweet.

I just got some novocaine (was awake entire time) and didn't say any odd shit.

Even though I think the entirety of the whole faze clan thing is stupid, I can't stop watching Faze Apex's content on youtube.

I took the pills beforehand, Novocaine, and the laughing gas - I ended up singing the entirely of Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. And not just the song, but the whole damn album

I'm in love for the first time ever and I don't really know what to feel. It's a strange mix of happiness ,soulcrushing anxiety and feeling like shit. Love is fucking weird, yo

I always get depressed during good, comforting moments because I know those moments won't last forever.

The last time I thought I was in love I ended up trying to commit suicide by getting drunk and jumping into a deep pool.

I'm not actually gay. I only suck dicks ironically

[QUOTE=jp_rsardeto;50259992]I'm not actually gay. I only suck dicks ironically[/QUOTE] You're still gay, just ironically gay.

[QUOTE=Demache;50257769]After taking a job that was literally calling and getting called by strangers everyday, I can finally overcome that anxiety of talking to strangers on the phone. Or really talking to strangers in general. [/QUOTE] Tell us more about your career as a phone sex operator

one time i baked my own shit with other ingredients yes i do mean literal shit

What the fuck why

[QUOTE=aussiedropbear;50260218]What the fuck why[/QUOTE] i wanted to see what would happen with using shit instead of cocoa powder in a recipe unforunately it reeked my whole house ps i actually have a recording of myself doing it if you want to see that

[QUOTE=Stargatius;50260255]i wanted to see what would happen with using shit instead of cocoa powder in a recipe[/QUOTE] what the fuck did you think would happen did you have visions of becoming the next betty crocker

[QUOTE=Stargatius;50260255]i wanted to see what would happen with using shit instead of cocoa powder in a recipe unforunately it reeked my whole house ps i actually have a recording of myself doing it if you want to see that[/QUOTE] why did you record yourself doing it as well :why:

[QUOTE=QUILTBAG;50260287]what the fuck did you think would happen did you have visions of becoming the next betty crocker[/QUOTE] tbh i already knew what would happen because its shit lol))) [QUOTE=aussiedropbear;50260303]why did you record yourself doing it as well :why:[/QUOTE] it was intended for my shitposting channel

dude wtf

That reminds me to the guy who wiped his ass with soap and water instead of using toilet paper.

[QUOTE=Sgt. Nikolai;50260340]That reminds me to the guy who wiped his ass with soap and water instead of using toilet paper.[/QUOTE] This? [URL="https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?p=49923442#post49923442"]https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?p=49923442#post49923442[/URL] [sp]I have this saved on my browser[/sp]

[QUOTE=Stargatius;50260255]i wanted to see what would happen with using shit instead of cocoa powder in a recipe unforunately it reeked my whole house ps i actually have a recording of myself doing it if you want to see that[/QUOTE] Man, do I miss being able to buy titles for people.