Shit You'd Like to Confess V3 I'm not into incest but my sister is hot - General

Since I'm a lazy fucker and I have to get a job, I need to write loads of cover letters. I have hard time convincing myself when I say I'm "highly motivated","well-experienced" and "really dynamic and punctual" and all of those great qualities you're supposed to say if you want to get a remote chance to get hired.

[QUOTE=CompanionMube;49793948]maths fucking suck why did i chose scientific specialty help me[/QUOTE] So you made a choice based on who you think you are, before you actually discovered that you are just not this. Drop out immediately, you want to live where you've discovered a purpose in life that you are so passionate about it borders on religious faith. Find yourself. [editline]22nd February 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=arthurisfine;49793977]Since I'm a lazy fucker and I have to get a job, I need to write loads of cover letters. I have hard time convincing myself when I say I'm "highly motivated","well-experienced" and "really dynamic and punctual" and all of those great qualities you're supposed to say if you want to get a remote chance to get hired.[/QUOTE] Laziness is a degrading myth according to me. It's usually depression or some other mental illness that makes you unable to engage. Take a step back and figure out what would really make you comfortable or even happy.

[QUOTE=SebiWarrior;49793880][QUOTE=Solodris;49793867]You will never find yourself in an experience where you actively comprehend the happiness of other people. There's laughter, but then there's facades, people will only give you the impression of who they think they are, no matter the situation. Another thing is, being humorous, compassionate, loving, playful. These are just ways of expressing a state of character, but the recipient will always consult his ego before actually genuinely find the trust to alter his inner mood in the way that he probably should do. I recommend focusing on eliminating suffering instead. For he who is without suffering, can truly call himself happy.[/QUOTE]This so very much. As an introvert and a lonely guy it's just so much better to focus on your hobbies rather than getting people to like you, too much effort for little to no gain. Do what truly enriches your life and makes you happy[/QUOTE] I can be happy even if no one does like me, I just want to feel like a good person. The gain I've always gotten out of it is that it makes [I]me[/I] happy to help someone. In fact, it actually motivates me in my creative hobbies.

[QUOTE=Talvy;49794059]I can be happy even if no one does like me, I just want to be a good person. The gain I get out of it is that it makes [I]me[/I] happy to help someone. Ever since I was a kid. It doesn't have to distract me from my hobbies.[/QUOTE] I'm talking buddhist psychology here, doing charity for the sake of charity teaches you nothing. Learning to do charity without considering it to be charity makes you a wiser person. Which increases your skill in making people happy.

Look, I'm only just learning to do [I]charity[/I] in the first place.

[QUOTE=Talvy;49794583]Look, I'm only just learning to do [I]charity[/I] in the first place.[/QUOTE] Imagine that you had a son, whom you love more than anything in the world. Every second of every minute you want to do something that makes him happy, protecting him from emotional danger even if he is completely oblivious to anything going on. That, in buddhism is called bodhicitta. Expand this to every human being you meet, start small, because this is a long process of learning. Eventually you treat people like you're never going to see them again. Ask me any questions if you like.

Well I know how to care about others, but how come it 'teaches me nothing' if it also makes me happy?

i want wtyo to return

[QUOTE=Talvy;49794763]Well I know how to care about others, but how come it 'teaches me nothing' if it makes me happy?[/QUOTE] Because to understand other peoples happiness, you must develop an understanding for suffering. No one has perfected compassionate deeds, but maybe if we develop enough understanding, our quality in practicing loving-kindness will make the cared for even better, than if you had not understood their suffering.

[QUOTE=Ghost_Nixon;49793288]That would be true, but I've never lived in Canada.[/QUOTE] Your flagdog suggest otherwise.

I pretty much wasted the past two years of college because it was for something I realized I didnt really want to do as a career. In high school I always thought I would do stuff as far away from mathematics as possible, I hated the stuff, it was my worst class. I dont even know how but now when I think about mathematics it just feels completely different, like I can do things in my head much easier. I liked science before but now with the actual meaning to go along with it, it all makes more sense. Its just really strange.

[QUOTE=MissingGlitch;49793497]Watching the last episode of Phineas and Ferb made me feel depressed.[/QUOTE] Last episodes are always rough I just finished Chuck again a little while ago, that was bad

[QUOTE=mecaguy03;49795177]I pretty much wasted the past two years of college because it was for something I realized I didnt really want to do as a career. In high school I always thought I would do stuff as far away from mathematics as possible, I hated the stuff, it was my worst class. I dont even know how but now when I think about mathematics it just feels completely different, like I can do things in my head much easier. I liked science before but now with the actual meaning to go along with it, it all makes more sense. Its just really strange.[/QUOTE] Sadly, i may be on the same path of having chosen a wrong career i'd like. Life's hard man.

existence is pointless

I was 6 years old when Half-Life came out. I remember watching my dad play it and being incredibly excited to play it myself. His rule was that once he beat the game, I was able to play it. But I actually played a small portion of it before he beat, and I quickly apologized afterwards (my good conscious always gets the better of me). Anyway, after I was able to play it from start to finish myself, I later found out it had a level editor. This blew my mind at the time. I was thinking about all the cool things I could with it. My first thought was to re-create my house in a Xen-like world as an easter egg and add it to the main game, thinking everyone else from around the world would be able to find it. Unfortunately, I wasn't smart enough to figure out how to set the software up at the time. And it wasn't until Half-Life 2 came out that I actually got into level design (also just for note, my dad imposed the same rule of him beating it first, this time I waited). I think it was around this time that others started to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was young and afraid at the time, so when people asked, I told them I wanted to design buildings and stuff. I was afraid my parents or others wouldn't like me if I said I wanted to be a game designer. I felt like people had a negative view on video games and those who played them. I think I grew out of that phase pretty quickly though, and I knew I really wanted to design levels for video games. My parents weren't mad or anything like I thought they would be, but I'd later come to find out they didn't understand. I was now in middle school, and this is when I really started to get into the level design groove with HL2 and CSS. By the time I was a freshmen in high school, I had a pretty solid idea of what almost every entity did in HL2/CSS and how to set them up, just from memory alone too. Often in class I would think about scenes I wanted to work on and try to figure out what entities I'd need to set them up and get them going. Level Design was truely in my heart. This is where things started getting bad for me though. I'd often go home or stay home "sick", and just sit at the computer and design levels for CSS or HL2. I specifically remember having a "glass house" phase where all I'd make were those maps where everything was glass. Anyway, because of this I started getting yelled at by my parents whether I was actually sick or not. This led to me being upset, and the one thing I found peace in doing was level designing, so naturally I went back to doing that more. Middle school was the start of my decline, and it got worse in high school. I had never actually "made" anything in HL2/CSS. The few maps I released were unfinished, and most of the time I never made a map with the thought of finishing it. Most maps that I had intended to work on to the very end, I'd drop within a day or two. I just couldn't figure out where to go with anything. My grades started to drop, I felt like I wasn't learning anything, and no one really understood the passion I had for level design. Especially my parents. They always complained about "only seeing the back of my head". If I just ONCE had the courage or thought to have told them to look past my head and at the screen, then maybe they'd see what I was doing all this time. No one ever complimented or praised me on these things. I was never told to keep doing what I loved. It was always just "pay attention in school!" or "do your homework!". I couldn't stand it. School wasn't teaching me what I wanted to know. That's probably a different story though. Moving on, high school is when my depression started to kick in. It wasn't until I went to "college" that it had become full swing. After I dropped out of that rip off of a "college", my love for games started to decline hard core. I posted about this "college" in the past, which I feel bad for because I even asked for some financial help here, which isn't something I normally do. Anyway, that's also a different story. After I had dropped out, I found myself playing video games less and less. The only game really keeping me going at the time was Dark Souls. Any other game I played, I'd just put down after a couple of hours or so. I found it hard to be engaged in them. Everything felt boring. I constantly found myself opening Source SDK only to close it a few minutes later without having created anything. I didn't have the motivation to do anything. All this time, from high school onward, my parents thought I wanted to be some kind of computer whiz. Always thinking I wanted to program things or fix computers. It took a few years for me to finally get them to understand I didn't want to do anything like that. But at that point it was too late, everyone I knew thought I was some kind of computer whiz and always wanted me to fix their computer. This still goes on to this day. I think I'm getting a bit off topic here though. I still want to go to college for game design. More specifically, I want to learn 3d character art and level design. I even have a small [url=http://ichidori.tumblr.com/]blog[/url] where I post ideas about a game I definitely want to make one day, even if it's the only game I make. But other than that, I'm not making any strides toward achieving my dream. I don't even know where to start at this point. I feel like I've been shot down so many times I just can't get back up. I don't even know if I could survive college. I'm not very smart, and I HATE general education classes. I just want to learn what I want to learn. I might be going off topic again. I don't know what to do at this point. I just want someone to hold my hand and just guide me all the way through this, literally. High school and "college" left me with a bad taste in my mouth, so now I'm afraid to go to a real college. I'm afraid I won't be able to afford it, even with financial aid. I realize that I was never taught anything about going to college in school. I'm not sure I could handle the stress of going, or if I could keep up with the school work. But I guess what I'm ultimately afraid of is, what if I end up not liking it? I don't know how to just go out and "do it". I don't want to be a mindless worker drone for the rest of my life. I want to make games! But with how I am now, I don't know if I have the drive to do it... sorry for blog post, but i am one helpless person [editline]23rd February 2016[/editline] it's thoughts like these that keep me up at night and make me feel so depressed that i call into work

[QUOTE=Solodris;49794002]So you made a choice based on who you think you are, before you actually discovered that you are just not this. Drop out immediately, you want to live where you've discovered a purpose in life that you are so passionate about it borders on religious faith. Find yourself. [editline]22nd February 2016[/editline] Laziness is a degrading myth according to me. It's usually depression or some other mental illness that makes you unable to engage. Take a step back and figure out what would really make you comfortable or even happy.[/QUOTE] Are you a genius How are you so wise I wish you are our prime minister, instead of that blood-sucking leech we have now

[QUOTE=jp_rsardeto;49795649]existence is pointless[/QUOTE] don't do it man we're here for you

I can't figure out how github works. Making pulls and pushes is confusing to me and I recently just figured out how to keep my fork synchronized with the upstream. It's a really confusing system that's not very well explained and I don't know why it was made this way. It seems like it should be really simple but it's just not.

[QUOTE=jp_rsardeto;49795649]existence is pointless[/QUOTE] If being engaged in an activity and it happens to feel pointless, there is a conflict within the mind. You can't change the environment to suit your mind, but you can change your mind to suit the environment. After all, your mind creates your world. Existence is neither pointless nor meaningful and both at the same time. Finding purpose is meaning, losing purpose is nonsensical. The opportunities of being alive is infinite, but sometimes we get stuck and forget what we really are: Intelligent sentient beings that by choice create our own worlds. [editline]23rd February 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=hakimhakim;49796428]Are you a genius How are you so wise[/QUOTE] It's circumstantial really. I have a mental illness and rather stayed at home when my school-mates where partying. I develop obsessions about everything and read a lot.

[QUOTE=Gunzers6;49791343][t]http://i.imgur.com/SA75ScW.png[/t] I've already wasted my entire life.[/QUOTE] What's this website?

I've always wanted to be a house husband at heart.

[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;49797092]What's this website?[/QUOTE] [url]https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1506426&p=49792829&viewfull=1#post49792829[/url]

[QUOTE=Solodris;49796679] [editline]23rd February 2016[/editline] It's circumstantial really. I have a mental illness and rather stayed at home when my school-mates where partying. I develop obsessions about everything and read a lot.[/QUOTE] You have to play Ar Tonelico 2. Its about diving into the minds of mentally ill people (sort of). If you can get past the cheerful and anime facade, it's very engaging, to decipher the mtaphorical mind world of those characters.

[QUOTE=Scratch.;49797163][url]https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1506426&p=49792829&viewfull=1#post49792829[/url][/QUOTE] Oh woops, missed that while reading. One might say I was reading poorly x 1 (list). I found it on my own anyway.

[img]http://i.imgur.com/JkwHawo.png[/img] I asked my dad to buy CS:GO for me.

[QUOTE=Solodris;49794947]Because to understand other peoples happiness, you must develop an understanding for suffering. No one has perfected compassionate deeds, but maybe if we develop enough understanding, our quality in practicing loving-kindness will make the cared for even better, than if you had not understood their suffering.[/QUOTE] Speak more of your wisdom please These lost sheeps that called themselves facepunchers needs your guiding light No i'm not even kidding

this thread actually reminded me a needed to check my statistics [img]https://jii.moe/E1i3jEHsl.png[/img] Only a little bit worried but I'm glad I'm not Kyle [QUOTE=kyle877;49793194][t]http://i.imgur.com/gF9Hj1v.png[/t] oh[/QUOTE] that's crazy

well i guess this isn't really a confession, but [img]http://puu.sh/niqOo/4749fa2f5b.jpg[/img] not too bad, considering most games i own are from bundles and trades and key sites and whatever. so the ~100usd spent on games per year on average is probably pretty spot on

[img]http://i.imgur.com/4eRlukq.png[/img] Look at you scrubs spending 1000+ bucks on games

Stop posting stats, we're all nerds yes and this isn't WAYT