Shit You'd Like to Confess V3 I'm not into incest but my sister is hot - General

I remember this one time I managed to get myself locked inside my own bathroom after I punched and kicked the door because I was angry.

[QUOTE=Snowmew;50149150]I wrote a note on the front of my midterm that the girl in front of me was cheating using her phone (the test was drop-dead easy so if you couldn't do it, you deserve to get fucked anyway) right before I handed it in, the professor nodded and whispered "don't worry about it" then sat back down and kept browsing Facebook. I talked to the dean about it and he said since there was no seating chart "and you probably couldn't identify her by the back of her head", there's nothing he can do about it after the fact. I told him I actually did know who it was, then he just said that it would be my word against hers. I think I'm just going to start cheating.[/QUOTE] Sounds like you need to chill out.

[QUOTE=Snowmew;50149150]I wrote a note on the front of my midterm that the girl in front of me was cheating using her phone (the test was drop-dead easy so if you couldn't do it, you deserve to get fucked anyway) right before I handed it in, the professor nodded and whispered "don't worry about it" then sat back down and kept browsing Facebook. I talked to the dean about it and he said since there was no seating chart "and you probably couldn't identify her by the back of her head", there's nothing he can do about it after the fact. I told him I actually did know who it was, then he just said that it would be my word against hers. I think I'm just going to start cheating.[/QUOTE] Telling on people for cheating is like, kindergartner grade pettyness. I once had a professor tell me "Tests are the application of your learning, and an application of how well you can cheat."

[QUOTE=Snowmew;50149150]I wrote a note on the front of my midterm that the girl in front of me was cheating using her phone (the test was drop-dead easy so if you couldn't do it, you deserve to get fucked anyway) right before I handed it in, the professor nodded and whispered "don't worry about it" then sat back down and kept browsing Facebook. I talked to the dean about it and he said since there was no seating chart "and you probably couldn't identify her by the back of her head", there's nothing he can do about it after the fact. I told him I actually did know who it was, then he just said that it would be my word against hers. I think I'm just going to start cheating.[/QUOTE] You're probably the guy nobody likes.

Don't be too harsh on him. He has good intentions but he probably didn't know that at higher levels people just stop caring about it.

[QUOTE=Sgt. Nikolai;50149938]I remember this one time I managed to get myself locked inside my own bathroom after I punched and kicked the door because I was angry.[/QUOTE] One time when I was about 15 my brother locked me in the pantry by propping a chair up against the door and the island. We were doing it just for fun, but then the fucker decided to go upstairs and go to bed. After about an hour I really had to pee so it turned into this awful race against time to find a way out of there before I went. Luckily, for some reason there was a yard stick in the pantry buried in the back, so I grabbed it and found out I was able to slide that under the door and move the chair up about 1/8 of an inch by wedging it under the chair legs that touched the floor. I was able to keep my progress of lifting the chair by pressing against the door, which forced the chair to a higher angle. Every time I pulled the stick back, the chair legs would once again touch the floor with the chair more upright than before—thus giving me more room to open the door. I repeated doing that about 30 times before I could reach my hand around the door and push the chair to the side. It kinda felt like one of those 'escape the room' games except without all of the weird nonsensical keypad puzzles.

[QUOTE=Jrose14;50150030]Telling on people for cheating is like, kindergartner grade pettyness. I once had a professor tell me "Tests are the application of your learning, and an [I]application of how well you can cheat[/I]."[/QUOTE] And then get expelled for cheating. Only a lazy and shitty professor would say that.

I think I might seriously have a porn addiction and compulsive masturbation disorder [editline].[/editline] I don't mean it in a good way

[QUOTE=Jrose14;50150030]Tests are the application of your learning, and an application of how well you can cheat."[/QUOTE] What a shitty professor lol "Go ahead and cheat clearly I don't give enough of a shit about my job to get people interested in my class"

[QUOTE=Sgt. Nikolai;50149938]I remember this one time I managed to get myself locked inside my own bathroom after I punched and kicked the door because I was angry.[/QUOTE] Didn't a guy get locked in the closet by accident and went in here for help?

[QUOTE=KillerJaguar;50150212]I think I might seriously have a porn addiction and compulsive masturbation disorder [editline].[/editline] I don't mean it in a good way[/QUOTE] 0:32 [video]https://youtu.be/JRiLk9qw59Y[/video]

[QUOTE=Jrose14;50150030]Telling on people for cheating is like, kindergartner grade pettyness. I once had a professor tell me "Tests are the application of your learning, and an application of how well you can cheat."[/QUOTE] I mean, I dont [I]agree[/I] with him, I just don't think its a big deal. And yes he was a shitty professor. All of my professors seem to be shitty, though. I only have one really good professor, and he isn't even teaching a class that matters to my major.

[QUOTE=Sgt. Nikolai;50149938]I remember this one time I managed to get myself locked inside my own bathroom after I punched and kicked the door because I was angry.[/QUOTE] I once had to bust down a toilet cubicle door with a shitty lock, because no way was I gonna crawl on the floor to get out. The real insult to injury was that I reported said lock to maintenance months prior.

I hate cleaning the backyard so every time I'm forced to do it I envision myself as a slave living in a dystopian-desertic version of the city where I live and my job is to keep the safehouse where I'm being kept at safe from radiation and do waste management. I always listen to Post Modern Jukebox or listen to a self-improvement audiobook as I clean, I imagine myself wearing an hazmat suit, listening to an audiobook as I roam the desert looking for radioactive materials (which in reality is just shit I need to clean up from my backyard). Sounds insane but it's my secret way to not get bored.

Sometimes I feel an urge to be emotionally and psychically close to someone but it feels almost impossible to obtain.

Sometimes I'm afraid to post things because I think "omfg what will people think of me when I become famous and they find out my profile?"

[QUOTE=Mining Bill;50149984]Sounds like you need to chill out.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Jrose14;50150030]Telling on people for cheating is like, kindergartner grade pettyness. I once had a professor tell me "Tests are the application of your learning, and an application of how well you can cheat."[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=ejonkou;50150042]You're probably the guy nobody likes.[/QUOTE] Sorry for being really fucked off about somebody getting a graduate-level finance degree from a top 5 university by cheating their way through. I know they also have a 100% scholarship (as an exchange student), so they didn't pay a dime for it, while I have to work my ass off to afford it. It's not like these people are going to be in charge of finances for large banks or anything. Only 50% or so of the graduates got hired in management positions for financial services firms last year. I'm sure we'll be fine, though. :poot:

AFAIK some job positions still require you to pass tests and evaluations even if you are certified.

[QUOTE=NightmareX91;50125529]sometimes i really wish i could live in an anime [sp]the anime i'd live in would be clannad tbh[/sp][/QUOTE] Same, just without most of the tropes. Mainly as either a bystander or a dumb side character that suddenly gets popular (lord knows that happened to me in theater). My choice is GATE, as depicted in the manga. Imagine if that portal to medieval fantasy Europe/Rome opened in other modern countries like in the USA, Russia, or the UK. Would there be an ongoing battle to see who gets to go, would there a power struggle between nations with Algus in the middle, and how would we handle this strange new land ripe with many possibilities?

Alright, it's like one or two days late, but better late than never: My school administration is absolutely terrible. Teachers are often appointed as teachers and hold office hours as well as some of them holding other kinds of office positions that need office hours like "head of x" department. Between certain teachers, this can either mean that they have fuck-all office hours to contact them for personal matters, or their office hours are all stocked up in the morning where most classes are for most people, back to back. Now, you could say, "Mister man guy sir, you could simply just E-mail them and they'll respond back! Right?" Haha, no? No, that's not true at all. There is a school policy here that teachers must reply to an E-mail within 24 hours on a weekday, and within 48-72 hours on the weekend. Quite the opposite happens in reality, where teachers can go weeks without sending so much as a reply to your E-mail, or outright not declare their E-mail in the syllabus provided at the start of a course. This one isn't taken directly from me, but it comes from a hell of a lot of people that I've come to trust around here, so take this as an assumption rather than direct accusations: The teachers often take bribes for upping grades, considering it extra credit. It's heinous, and from what I've heard, about half of the English department does this. As stated before, the teachers don't exactly teach. Most of the students leave or outright don't come unless the professor enforces a "don't stay, don't get any kind o' passin' grade" rule. They fall behind aged practices of talking bullshit and lengthening it so it takes up all the time, usually focusing on a single concept that matters not in the long scheme of things. I've had a teacher go on for 5 weeks for just the first chapter of a book, even though in the syllabus, we were supposed to be at chapter 7 within that. Another teacher I've had refused to explain things, instead opting to explain something else that had little correlation to what the question was. Yet another teacher I had quite literally slammed his head against a wall whiteboard each time someone tried to answer one of his questions, which lead to everyone just becoming incredibly, unusually silent... which pissed them off even more. It didn't help that he often made snide remarks or singled people out just because he could. Now for what I consider to be the grand finale... I was below a 2.0 GPA at one point in this semester and I still probably am, so this prompted a letter being directly handed to me to undergo a meeting with the room boarding director for this building. This director asked me a series of questions, ones that... just... infuriated me. They asked me how I was going to get my grades up, and if I needed a tutor. Haha, "If I needed a tutor" indeed. See, for half the semester, I was actually trying to get a tutor for a class I was failing, but when I did, the times with him and I conflicted so much that every time I would show up, he wouldn't be there, vice versa. This was the only tutor for the class, so there was no other choice for a later, more open time. The tutor kept apologizing for the inconveniences caused, but with time, those inconveniences became little "I.O.U" sticky notes stuck at the bottom of every E-mail that [B]never came true.[/B] If you're failing a class, there's generally a reason why, right? But you can't ask someone that's failing "okay sonny well you need to get those grades up how do you do that" without them just responding with "Uh, I get the grades up?" I ended up leaving the meeting feeling a hell of a lot more empty than before, but I actually managed to push myself enough to finish work and manage a passing grade for that class. But then it got worse. The director assembled a meeting with the head of the technology department and I, and the head of the technology department just so happened to be a teacher that I knew was god awful at his work. I sat in his office, and word for word, he told me, "If you can't pass this class or another class, just take the F and tell them you're not going to be coming in any more. F doesn't mean the end of the world." Son, if you were dropping $10K on a college per year just to live in a housing that has screwy wifi that can't be fixed due to the architectural design of the place, you'd expect ANY kind of answer other than "Haha it's ok just fail, you'll only be put on probation next semester." And I feel like I just want to blow m'fuckin brains out over this business, because dealing with it all is like trying to force yourself to scavenge a garbage bin for any kind of sliver of actual, edible, untouched food.

[QUOTE=Snowmew;50149150](the test was drop-dead easy so if you couldn't do it, you deserve to get fucked anyway)[/QUOTE] There's that [I]they deserved it anyway[/I] again... :rolleyes:

I can't play Wii fit anymore because I am to fat. I go over the weight limit on the Wii balance board. Ironic isn't it? I am one fat SOB. I think it may be finally time to do something about this. :v:

[QUOTE=Talvy;50152541]There's that [I]they deserved it anyway[/I] again... :rolleyes:[/QUOTE] I'm not sure where the fault is there. If you can't do basic algebra, you don't deserve a master's degree in finance. If you cheat on an exam, you deserve a zero on it. Let me rephrase - you don't deserve to become qualified for jobs where you have a fiduciary duty to uphold [b]while handling other people's money.[/b] How would you feel if your retirement fund was being managed by someone who doesn't understand how to balance a portfolio?

I was driving my truck to the recycling center and managed to spill a few glass bottles and turn them into jagged glass caltrops all over an intersection. I kept on driving.

Today I made a pair of wasps my pets for a while

[QUOTE=Blazedol;50152728]Today I made a pair of wasps my pets for a while[/QUOTE] absolute madman

I have a major inferiority complex. Massive problems with resentment and envy. In my youth, it was milder. My family always had money problems and I myself had a disastrous school life (not grades-wise; my grades were outstanding before I stopped caring in the final few years) that culminated in swearing never to set foot in a school again after high school. Six years later, that still holds true. To be honest, while I don't still regret the decision of never attending college, I do feel like I wasted my early twenties due to how little other progress I've made, never holding more than menial, entry-level jobs. But for the most part, this is all something I've come to terms with and taken in [i]relative[/i] stride. But I find it ironic how much of my anger comes from what I originally considered my respite and something I've always been passionate about: video games. It was the early 2000s when I heard from a GameStop clerk about GameFAQs, and practically grew up through gaming forums since then. And cards on the table, I've grown to [i]despise[/i] other gamers. I despise gaming culture, I despise all the latest trends. I particularly despise competitive gaming and I'll never not; it's just the person I've grown into and I know that burning hatred will never go away. You see, I have a motor disability. It's relatively minor, but it's there. I can't use my hands well. Growing up in the days before keyboards became ubiquitous classroom equipment, this manifested in things like me only being halfway through handwriting an essay and my hand hurting like hell, while all the other kids were already out at recess. More times than I can remember did I curse all the other kids' "goddamn lightning hands." Was there something I was doing wrong that made me so much slower than everyone else? Did I miss some important day in early grade school where everyone else was taught some super-important pencil-holding technique that made them more than twice as fast which they then took for granted, yet no one else ever thought to clue me in? Yet when it came to gaming... I was the man. I was one of the few gamers at school, and [i]the[/i] video game kid in particular. No one else knew as much, no one else had done as much. And then I went online... and I was back at square one. Everyone else at school wasn't as good as me because they didn't care as much about it. Online I learned at an early age that there were people who were just as dedicated as me who [i]didn't[/i] have motor disabilities. Now I'm back on the bottom rung, and I know it. My entire gaming attitude can be summed up in miniature with a single series. It was when I really started to sequester myself in my online life that I was really into Super Smash Bros. And having been there myself back in the day, I don't care whoever says otherwise - that community shattered way before Brawl came around. It's probably [i]the[/i] most notorious series for being a warzone between casual and competitive players even during the Melee days, and on GameFAQs in particular. Now, I couldn't go competitive even if I tried due to my hands, but I didn't like fighting games anyway; the Smash [i]I[/i] saw was a celebration of Nintendo IPs, and I always loved Nintendo. But Melee comps saw the casuals as a whiny, jealous nuisance who should keep their mouths shut in the presence of the pros, and Melee casuals saw the comp players as overbearing; always trying to dominate conversations over how much [i]better[/i] they were and groups like the Smashboards backroom claiming some sort of authority. In fact, I saw Brawl as a refuge. Finally, all the tourneytards would stay on their game and we would stay on ours; it was a shame [i]my[/i] Melee would become forgotten as the name became synonymous with comp, but we had Brawl! Taking a step back, I'm ashamed how much my emotions over the years have and still do revolve around it all. Even how much they still have a presence in my mind, how every endeavor has some underlying current of "this'll show those bastards what I can do!" It makes me fear they've truly, permanently won... And goddamn it, that god-forsaken [url=http://www.sirlin.net/ptw]book[/url]... is this lifelong resentment some sort of "ultimate victory" for them... ?! Because the fighting didn't stop. In particular there was one guy I knew on AIM - I don't even remember why I continued to associate with him - who I'd get in the most vitriolic arguments with over it. The whole Melee vs. Brawl debacle. And the Melee side continued to make moves that ultimately led them to what I hate to concede but I have to call a victory. Melee's still going; eSports in general are bigger than ever. Brawl was forgotten. Back when it was still the latest game Project M was already gaining traction as the "real Smash 3" (was this revenge against Sakurai for challenging the authority you grabbed for, you bastards?) and then when Smash 4 came out even the casual talk around it stopped. The goddamn Melee documentary that I still see as just a propaganda piece and circlejerk means that even newcomers will come into the series thinking Melee is the definitive installment and Brawl was a disgrace. I genuinely did and still do believe Brawl is better, but for all the Melee's crowd talk of "grassroot efforts" accomplishing amazing things, I... I can't do anything about it, no matter what I do. No one else agrees with me. And those arrogant snots got their wish; they lived happy young adult lives being successful pro gamers known the world over who made [i]money[/i] on it, and I'm 24 with nothing to show for it. Even for everything Brawl did right, I can't make anyone see it. No one gave or will ever give Brawl a chance. Everyone hates it now, despite how hard it tried. It really did. Brawl tried to be a more welcoming game for us slower players, with more accessibility and a lot of cool content. And its legacy was frigging [b]erased[/b] forever. But to be honest, Smash is small-scale. As I said, it's a microcosm for the resentment I feel towards gaming culture as a whole. Casual gaming - [i]good[/i] casual gaming, not shovelware - is an ideal I started to believe in in general. Now, I genuinely do love Nintendo, but it wasn't loyalty that had me 100% behind the idea of the Wii. Motion controls were a concept that won me over on their own, due to the Metroid Prime games, and I'd always wanted to get more non-gamers into gaming. Not competitive gaming, just video games. Every other gamer wants to forget the Wii ever happened. On casual gaming, Yahtzee Croshaw [url=http://zeropunctuation.wikia.com/wiki/E3_2010]stated[/url]: [quote]There will be a lot of changes to come and you shouldn't fear them. You should resist them, though. You've got to dig your heels in and show these changes who's the bitch before everything we've worked for all these years sells itself wholesale to the kinds of Bejeweled-playing, child-having twat-mackerels who spent the last decades nodding meaningfully to each other every time a Sega Genesis is found in the home of a murderer.[/quote] VGCats [url=http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=280]said[/url]: [quote]This is a message to all you auto-aiming, Madden rostering, Wii bowling asstards: we didn't spend years as social outcasts to watch you assholes fuck this up. [i]We[/i] memorized the ultra combos, [i]we[/i] wrote down pages of passwords, [i]we[/i] defeated the Robot Masters, knocked out Tyson, and saved the fucking princess. I know what we are and what you're [b]not[/b]: gamers.[/quote] I hate them for it. I hate even more their ideals succeeded. eSports scenes continue to grow; super-competitive, toxic games like DotA 2 vacuum up development resources from other games. The most consistent critical darling series of the past few years (Soulsborne) sells itself on being brutally hard, with a fanbase lauding it as only for the "worthy" where anyone who doesn't care for it simply needs to "git gud". VR is the only hardware shake-up "real gamers" accepted since the DualShock. The Wii's legacy has faded; Wii U is flailing desperately in the PS4's wake as gamers celebrate the return of the "glory days" of the PS2, the "greatest console ever." Satoru Iwata, a humble, talented man who worked to the bitter end towards ideals of gaming for the layperson, died in his sleep with people having been calling for his retirement, his company on the decline, and his last public statement being an apology for a subpar E3 conference. Steve Jobs died surrounded by friends and family, having already stepped away from his company that was (and still is) the largest publicly-traded company in the world for making overpriced "luxury" tech for smug hipsters, loved so much that his biography was a best-seller and made into a major blockbuster despite being a megalomaniac and - like Thomas Edison - nothing more than a salesman who convinced people he was an inventor, taking credit for other peoples' work. Windows Vista and Windows 8 both gave us major usability upgrades but "real techies" consider them a laughingstock next to their immediate predecessors. They [i]tried[/i] and their legacy is tarnished forever because of some goddamn superstitious "cycle" that everyone convinced themselves was true. Wii U died a slow death because everyone convinced itself it wasn't worth buying until even game developers started believing it and made it so. God knows VR is gonna sell gangbusters even in this primitive state simply because of how much everyone [i]wants[/i] it to. This whole industry is so goddamn good at [i]willing[/i] things into happening the way it expects them all to, and I resent it so much. I really do feel a white-hot anger over everything damned by this god-forsaken industry over not being good enough, regardless of how much of an earnest effort it put in. Brawl [b]tried.[/b] Vista [b]tried.[/b] Wii [b]tried.[/b] Wii U [b]tried.[/b] Iwata [b]tried.[/b] Win8 [b]tried.[/b] Vita [b]tried.[/b] Kinect [b]tried.[/b] [url=http://orig14.deviantart.net/3791/f/2016/055/2/b/nintendo_release_timeline__v2015_end__by_vinlauria-d9t0ohz.png][b]I[/b] tried.[/url] By God, do I try to preserve and fight for the legacy of everything that "real gamers" cast away because it just wasn't good enough in their eyes, because I know how that inadequacy - despite your best efforts - can feel. And I feel like [url=http://www.amazon.com/Hooper-Humperdink-Bright-Early-Books/dp/0679881298]Hooper goddamn Humperdink[/url], because no matter how this industry progresses from here, "real gamers" just want to make sure it's [url=https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1511665&p=49995274&viewfull=1#post49995274]away from me[/url]. For what started out as a passion and a refuge, I've come to resent this whole rat-stink industry. And deep down beneath it all... I know I'm ultimately being unreasonable. I know I've just become a bitter person. History is written by the winners, after all.

I severely dislike the awfully dark theme for facepunch

[QUOTE=Snowmew;50152560]I'm not sure where the fault is there. If you can't do basic algebra, you don't deserve a master's degree in finance. If you cheat on an exam, you deserve a zero on it. Let me rephrase - you don't deserve to become qualified for jobs where you have a fiduciary duty to uphold [b]while handling other people's money.[/b] How would you feel if your retirement fund was being managed by someone who doesn't understand how to balance a portfolio?[/QUOTE] Someone who cheats through college is only hurting themselves, once people realize they don't have the skills to do what their degree says they can do, their career is dead in the water.

[QUOTE=PortalModIV;50153825]I severely dislike the awfully dark theme for facepunch[/QUOTE] the dark theme is easy on my old eyes.