Divorce: It's what separates the men and the boys.
What do your own dick and a submarine have in common?
[sp]It hurts like hell if you punch either[/sp]
When steve jobs died, Life didn't flash before his eyes.
Apple doesn't support flash.
How do you get a 6 year old girl to cry twice?
[sp] Wipe the blood off your cock, onto her teddy bear [/sp]
[QUOTE=uchiha2727;38127358]How do you get a 6 year old girl to cry twice?
[sp] Wipe the blood off your cock, onto her teddy bear [/sp][/QUOTE]
:suicide:
There was a tale, of a man, telling a joke on a terrible thread on Facepunch, and h-
[highlight](User was banned for this post("Stop talking about yourself", -MaxOfS2D)[/highlight]
Whats worse than getting punched in the dick?
[sp] getting a papercut down the hole of your dick [/sp]
[QUOTE=uchiha2727;38127512]Whats worse than getting punched in the dick?
[sp] getting a papercut down the hole of your dick [/sp][/QUOTE]
My dick cringed
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they can't change shit.
They always say criminals return to the scene of the crime
Which is probably why we have so many Australians over here!
A father walks into his son's room and he says "Son! Stop masturbating you'll go blind!".
And his son says "I'm over here dad."
Whats the difference between a Aboriginal and a bench?
[sp]Only one can support a family of 3[/sp]
How many jews can you fit in a Volkswagen?
[sp]Two in the front, three in the back, and [/sp][sp]fourty seven in the ashtray[/sp]
Why are black people so tall?
[sp]Because their knee-grows[/sp]
What do you call a black man in a suit?
[sp]The Defendant[/sp]
A man's wife gives birth to a baby boy.
The only problem is that the boy was born as just a head, no arms, torso, or legs.
Regardless, the father loved his son all the same.
On the son's 21st birthday, his father took him to a bar for his first beer.
He put his son on the bar and proudly ordered two beers.
They drank their beers, then, suddenly, the son grows a torso!
The father is amazed, and tells his son to keep drinking.
The son drinks another beer, two arms appear!
Tears of joy running down the father's face, everyone in the bar cheers at the heartwarming sight as the boy drinks his third beer and two legs appear.
The boy stands up for the first time, more than a little wasted, and wanders out the door.
Out of nowhere, the drunken boy is hit by a bus.
The bartender looks to the devastated father and says, [sp]"It's a shame, he should quit while he was still a head."[/sp]
:v:
Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things.
One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."
The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!"
The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock on wood." She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?!"
==
I scanned my computer. The printer accidently re-copied it.
==
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches
from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking
driver said, 'I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me.' The frightened passenger apologized to the driver
and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, 'No, no,
I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab.
I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.
[QUOTE=BanthaFodder;38140776]A man's wife gives birth to a baby boy.
The only problem is that the boy was born as just a head, no arms, torso, or legs.
Regardless, the father loved his son all the same.
On the son's 21st birthday, his father took him to a bar for his first beer.
He put his son on the bar and proudly ordered two beers.
They drank their beers, then, suddenly, the son grows a torso!
The father is amazed, and tells his son to keep drinking.
The son drinks another beer, two arms appear!
Tears of joy running down the father's face, everyone in the bar cheers at the heartwarming sight as the boy drinks his third beer and two legs appear.
The boy stands up for the first time, more than a little wasted, and wanders out the door.
Out of nowhere, the drunken boy is hit by a bus.
The bartender looks to the devastated father and says, [sp]"It's a shame, he should quit while he was still a head."[/sp]
:v:[/QUOTE]
I know another variation of this joke.
A wife had a baby, but it was born with only a head and no body. "Don't worry," says the doctor. "Bring him back in five years time and we'll probably have a body for him". So five years go by, and there's Eddie the 'Ead, as his parents have called him, sitting on the mantelpiece, when in walks his dad. "Son," he says, "today's a very special day. It's your fifth birthday and we've got a very special surprise for you." "Oh no," says Eddie. [sp]"Not another fucking hat!"[/sp]
Obama actually turned the White House into the Black House.
[QUOTE=Swog;38170440]Obama actually turned the White House into the Black House.[/QUOTE]
that's a non-joke
[QUOTE=Captain_Crazy;38170640]that's a non-joke[/QUOTE]
How is it in a way it's not a joke? It's clearly a racist and terrible joke.
[QUOTE=Swog;38171384]How is it in a way it's not a joke? It's clearly a racist and terrible joke.[/QUOTE]
a terrible joke [I]can[/I] be funny, you know
[QUOTE=Swog;38171384]How is it in a way it's not a joke? It's clearly a racist and terrible joke.[/QUOTE]
This thread isn't for terrible jokes, as in a joke that is unfunny. It's about jokes that are in bad taste, and are supposed to make you feel terrible for laughing.
[QUOTE=iLife_Aftermath;38174693]This thread isn't for terrible jokes, as in a joke that is unfunny. It's about jokes that are in bad taste, and are supposed to make you feel terrible for laughing.[/QUOTE]
Comeon guys don't give him a hard time for that, he's brought much other content to the thread so far
What did the chicken say when it crossed the road?
[QUOTE=BFG9000;38175127]Comeon guys don't give him a hard time for that, he's brought much other content to the thread so far[/QUOTE]
He brought crap content. All of his jokes are "unfunny jokes", none are of the "terrible joke" kind.
9/11 jokes aren't funny, 3 of my friends died there. Their names were Mohammed, Mohammed, and Mohammed.
What went though John Smith's head as he stood on the 98th floor of the WTC?
[SP]The 99th floor[/SP]
What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
[sp]A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.[/sp]
Why was it hard to do the laundry.
[sp]Amanda drank all the bleach.[/sp]
[sp]too soon?[/sp]
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