[QUOTE=Call Me Kiwi;38180925]Why was it hard to do the laundry.
[sp]Amanda drank all the bleach.[/sp]
[sp]too soon?[/sp][/QUOTE]
You enjoy washing your clothes with bleach?
I was fucking some dirty slut from the ass-end of nowhere one night, I came, pulled out and my heart near enough stopped when I saw the split condom leaking jizz everywhere.
The worse part being I wasn't wearing one at the start.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
[sp]We shot the only one with a dream[/sp]
What's the difference between a Jew and a pepperoni pizza?
[sp] The pizza contains pork. Also, Jews taste like crap.[/sp]
[QUOTE=CarmineGear;38083543]R.I.P. Osama bin Laden - World Hide and Go Seek Champion (2001-2011)[/QUOTE]
Nah I think God has that one.
Genesis - Present Day.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair
What's the difference between karate and judo?
[sp]Karate is a method of self defence and judo is what bagels are made of![/sp]
Sorry if late
[editline]29th October 2012[/editline]
'There is safety in numbers'
Unless there are 6,000,000 of you.
And you are all Jews.
[editline]29th October 2012[/editline]
A white joke because this thread feels very one-sided:
What’s Orange White and Very Beautiful? [sp]A WHITE BOY ON FIRE[/sp]
that one can be used for any racial demographic tho
[editline]29th October 2012[/editline]
One more:
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch prick, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”
The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy asks.. “What’s wrong with you?”
In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”
The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch prick, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown.”
The small guy says, “Turner Brown!…Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, “Turn Around!!”
[editline]29th October 2012[/editline]
A seventy-five year old White guy, his hair was completely white, marries a twenty-two year old girl, and she gets pregnant.
Nine months later, he walks into the Maternity Ward. He says to the nurse, “Well, how’d I do?”
The nurse says: “She had twins.”
He says, “Heh, heh, heh…well, I guess that goes to show, that even if there’s snow on the roof, there can still be fire in the furnace.”
She says, “Well, then you’d better change filters. Both of the babies are black.”
A man goes to the doctor for a prostate check.
After that the doctor tells the guy to drop his pants
and when he does that the doctor notices the guy has five dicks,
so naturally the doctor says "Jesus fucking Christ, how can you fit all of those dicks?"
and the guy says
[sp]Like a glove.[/sp]
There were three kids on a sidewalk wondering what they should do. Suddenly, the Devil appeared and said, "Whatever your father does for a living, I will do to your penis."
He walked up to the first kid, who started to cry. "What does your dad do?" the Devil asked.
"He..he is a meat butcher" said the boy. So the Devil [I]butchered[/I] his penis. He walked up to the second kid who was crying also. "What does your father do for a living?" asked the Devil.
"He is a carpenter," said the boy. So the Devil drove [I]nails and hammered[/I] his penis to the ground. Finally, he walked up to the third boy. The boy was laughing very hard. "What does your father do?" said the Devil.
[sp]"He is a lolly-pop tester!"[/sp]
-------------------------
Why should Steve Irwin wear sunscreen?
[sp]It protects you from harmful rays.[/sp]
made up a few jokes earlier today
What's a black man's favorite weather?
[sp]muggy[/sp]
What's a black man's favorite metal?
[sp]steel[/sp]
What's his least favorite?
[sp]copper[/sp]
[QUOTE=DesumThePanda;38278654]made up a few jokes earlier today
What's a black man's favorite weather?
[sp]muggy[/sp]
What's a black man's favorite metal?
[sp]steel[/sp]
What's his least favorite?
[sp]copper[/sp][/QUOTE]
genius
What's the difference between a fag and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't fart when you put the meat in.
How do you fit four fags on a barstool?
Turn it upside down.
Why was the queer sacked from his job in the sperm bank?
He was caught drinking on the job!
How many faggots does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one.....but it takes an entire emergency room to remove it!
[editline]1st November 2012[/editline]
these are the worst
rofl
[editline]1st November 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=imptastick;37809473]How do you get a gay man to sleep with a woman?
[sp]Shit in her Cunt[/sp]
Stolen from Jimmy Carr[/QUOTE]
ewww
your ruining perfectly good shit
What's the difference between a tire and a black man?
The tire won't rap when you put a chain on it.
The sun is 27 million degrees at it's core, or some might say, quite toasty!
*snorts*
[QUOTE=FlashMarsh;38285361]The sun is 27 million degrees at it's core, or some might say, quite toasty!
*snorts*[/QUOTE]
No idea why, but that made this old thing pop in my head
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JdWlSF195Y[/media]
That song made me get a A on my science tests in third grade :rock:
"What's more funny than a dead baby? The Holocaust."
bad joke k..
whats the best thing about sixty three year olds
there's sixty of them
Why are there no fortune tellers in Africa?
Blacks have no future.
Why are blacks afraid of chainsaws?
because they go "RUN niga niga niga niga"
How do you know when a black is ripe?
When he falls off the scaffolding
I parked up at a posh hotel in London last night, i looked out of the car window and saw Michael J Fox, Muhammad Ali & Bob Hoskins standing outside the reception. I thought "I'd better put a coat on, it looks fucking freezing out there."
What's beautiful on the inside but ugly on the outside. A black person with cancer.
What does a baby look like after a minute in the microwave? I don't know I close my eyes when I masterbait.
What doed Pink floyd and princess diana have in common?
Their last great hit was The wall.
Stolen from that filthy frank guy.
What do you call a burning paraplegic?
[sp]hotwheels[/sp]
My granddad died in Auschwitz when he fell off the guard tower.
[QUOTE=ShittyBalls;38359315]My granddad died in Auschwitz when he fell off the guard tower.[/QUOTE]
You're doing it wrong.
And it's been done before, in this thread even.
This is a pretty old one I believe, but I laughed a ton.
It's back in the 1800's and a mine owner is hiring new workers. A German steps up and says, "I can pick gold faster than any man alive."
The owner hires him on the spot.
A Russian wanders up and says, "I can load gold faster than any man alive."
The owner can't believe his good fortune and hires this man too.
A Chinese man walks up and asks for a job.
The owner is so elated about hiring the other two men he says, "Well, if these other two men work as
good as they say I won't need any more help, but I'll put you in charge of supplies."
The next day the owner goes and checks on his new workers, and sure enough, the German is picking gold at an unbelievable rate.
The Russian is loading it as fast as the other workers can haul it out.
He looks around and can't find the Chinese man anywhere.
He begins to walk around the mine to find him and just as he rounds a dark corner the Asian jumps out from behind a rock and yells, [sp]"SUPPLIES!"[/sp]
[QUOTE=SuperEmoBros;38369833]This is a pretty old one I believe, but I laughed a ton.
It's back in the 1800's and a mine owner is hiring new workers. A German steps up and says, "I can pick gold faster than any man alive."
The owner hires him on the spot.
A Russian wanders up and says, "I can load gold faster than any man alive."
The owner can't believe his good fortune and hires this man too.
A Chinese man walks up and asks for a job.
The owner is so elated about hiring the other two men he says, "Well, if these other two men work as
good as they say I won't need any more help, but I'll put you in charge of supplies."
The next day the owner goes and checks on his new workers, and sure enough, the German is picking gold at an unbelievable rate.
The Russian is loading it as fast as the other workers can haul it out.
He looks around and can't find the Chinese man anywhere.
He begins to walk around the mine to find him and just as he rounds a dark corner the Asian jumps out from behind a rock and yells, [sp]"SUPPLIES!"[/sp][/QUOTE]
I don't find that one very offensive, funny though.
What do u say when your tv starts floating in the middle of the night?
-[sp]Drop it nigger[/sp]
Why do white people go to black peoples garage sells?
-[sp]To get their stuff back[/sp]
What's better than winning the para olympics?
-[sp]Having legs that work.[/sp]
Two men walked into a bar. Ouch
[I]Sorry ;)[/I]
How are babies and slinkies similar?
They both make you smile when you push them down a staircase.
What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My cock while I'm doing it
What's funnier than a baby in a trash can lid? A trashcan lid in a baby
What's smells and is charred black? A baby thats eating an extension cord
What's brown and taps on a window when it's about to explode? A baby in a microwave
What's blue and taps on glass? A baby in a fish tank
Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.
Do you know the saddest thing about princesses?
[sp]Princesses Di[/sp]
...sorry, for the horrible joke in terrible taste.
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