There are 3 types of people.
Those who can count, and those who can't.
[QUOTE=reywilnc;38744902]There are 3 types of people.
Those who can count, and those who can't.[/QUOTE]
Isn't that supposed to be a Computer Science binary joke.
[editline]8th December 2012[/editline]
Came up with this one just now:
What's more repetitive than a broken record?
[sp]A black man's criminal record.[/sp]
I came up with this one first:
[sp]The fucking jokes in this thread.[/sp]
to get the message across that I read 3 pages of this thread and there were like 5 of the same joke.
What do clowns order when they go to the bar?
[sp]rimshots[/sp]
Why are Jews' noses so big?
[sp]Genetics, probably.[/sp]
How do you babysit a bunch of black kids?
[sp]With love and care.[/sp]
What are three things you cannot give a black man?
[sp]Same three things you cannot give a white man.[/sp]
I'm doing this right?
Jimmy had 40 cookies. He ate 35 of those cookies. What does Jimmy have?
[sp]diabetes[/sp]
Sally had 50 cookies. She ate none. What does Sally have?
[sp]50 cookies[/sp]
So awhile ago there was a news post about how some guy with mental issues shoot his roomates in the foot for not letting him play Halo
I decided to write in the comments "Double Kill"
[QUOTE=Sir Drone;38747178]So awhile ago there was a news post about how some guy with mental issues shoot his roomates in the foot for not letting him play Halo
I decided to write in the comments "Double Kill"[/QUOTE]
Unfreakinbeleivable!
Why'd lil' Jimmy cry when he fell off his bike?
[sp]Because the handlebar punctured his lung.[/sp]
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed
it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'
Holding the bucket up he said,
'I'm here to feed the alligator...'
What is the difference between a crying baby and a quiet baby?
[sp]The quiet baby is dead.[/sp]
[QUOTE=Swog;38761308]What is the difference between a crying baby and a quiet baby?
[sp]The quiet baby is dead.[/sp][/QUOTE]
I honestly saw that answer coming.
The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.
He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.
The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.
At Mass, he asked the congregation, has anyone got a cock? To which all the men stood up.
"No,no," he said, somewhat flustered, "that's not what I meant. "Has anybody SEEN a cock?" All the women stood up.
"No, no," he said. "Thats not what I meant either. Has anyone seen a cock that doesn't belong to them." Half the women stood up.
"No, no," He said, now thoroughly embarrassed "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody here seen MY cock?" All the choirboys stood up.
[QUOTE=darklom;38761507]The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.
He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.
The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.
At Mass, he asked the congregation, has anyone got a cock? To which all the men stood up.
"No,no," he said, somewhat flustered, "that's not what I meant. "Has anybody SEEN a cock?" All the women stood up.
"No, no," he said. "Thats not what I meant either. Has anyone seen a cock that doesn't belong to them." Half the women stood up.
"No, no," He said, now thoroughly embarrassed "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody here seen MY cock?" All the choirboys stood up.[/QUOTE]
strewn with puns aswell, goddamn
How did Helen Keller break her arm driving?
[sp]She was trying to read the stop signs[/sp]
[QUOTE=darklom;38761507]The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.
He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.
The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.
At Mass, he asked the congregation, has anyone got a cock? To which all the men stood up.
"No,no," he said, somewhat flustered, "that's not what I meant. "Has anybody SEEN a cock?" All the women stood up.
"No, no," he said. "Thats not what I meant either. Has anyone seen a cock that doesn't belong to them." Half the women stood up.
"No, no," He said, now thoroughly embarrassed "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody here seen MY cock?" All the choirboys stood up.[/QUOTE]
Thread winner
Everyone close up
Why is Santa always happy?
[sp]He knows where all the bad girls live.[/sp]
What's the similiarities between a baby and a gun?
[sp]I made a gun out of a baby[/sp]
How Do You Drive Hellen Keller Crazy?
Put her in a circular room, and tell her to find the marble in the corner.
How did Hellen Keller's teacher punish her?
She moved the furniture around.
Whats white and is a liquid?
[sp] Milk [/sp]
[QUOTE=darklom;38761507]The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.
He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.
The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.
At Mass, he asked the congregation, has anyone got a cock? To which all the men stood up.
"No,no," he said, somewhat flustered, "that's not what I meant. "Has anybody SEEN a cock?" All the women stood up.
"No, no," he said. "Thats not what I meant either. Has anyone seen a cock that doesn't belong to them." Half the women stood up.
"No, no," He said, now thoroughly embarrassed "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody here seen MY cock?" All the choirboys stood up.[/QUOTE]
Did he ever find his cock?
ever heard of the guy who masturbates over breast milk macaroni?
neither have i
Guy with no arms walks into a bar
Bartender asks him: "How did you open the door?"
[img]http://drawception.com/pub/panels/2012/3-29/aQTbkDYkP2-6.png[/img]
What did Bob do?
[sp]Make his wife pregnant by replacing her morning milk with his cum.[/sp]
[QUOTE=Swog;38769755]What did Bob do?
[sp]Make his wife pregnant by replacing her morning milk with his cum.[/sp][/QUOTE]
I don't think you understand exactly how women get pregnant. And also milk isn't the texture of cum. And why would she squirt her morning 'milk' up her vag? That's the worst attempt at a joke I've seen in about eleven years.
[QUOTE=Lancer;38770363]I don't think you understand exactly how women get pregnant. And also milk isn't the texture of cum. And why would she squirt her morning 'milk' up her vag? That's the worst attempt at a joke I've seen in about eleven years.[/QUOTE]
Dude, I know. Cum goes in vag. Pregnancy.
It was a terrible joke and should be.
What's the difference between a baby and a meatloaf?
About ten more minutes.
Why wasn't the dumb hen very funny?
Her brain was so scrambled, her yolks made no sense.
What's the difference between a broken record player and viola players?
A broken record player could play correctly at some point.
Why did they guy throw a clock out the window?
[sp]Because he was a fucking idiot.[/sp]
[sp]Sorta-stolen from The Golden Girls[/sp]
Why did Billy fall off the swing?
[sp]He had no arms.[/sp]
Why did he have no arms?
[sp]He was a potato[/sp]
It's all fun and games until you realise Casper the friendly ghost is actually a dead child
:tinfoil:
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