[QUOTE=Zillamaster55;37873242]Why is that censored.[/QUOTE]
Part of the joke itself.
--------------------------
A man calls up his boss at work, "Boss i am not coming into work to day coz i am sick."
The boss replies, "How sick are you?" so the man replies, "Well i am in bed with my sister"
zing
What's the difference between a white man and a black man? At least 6 inches.
what bounces and makes kids cry
[sp]my donation cheque to Children in Need.[/sp]
What mouse walks on two legs and is high on helium?
[sp]Mickey Mouse[/sp]
What does a wood armor do?
[sp]Protects your virginity[/sp]
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette die under questionable circumstances. God decides to personally retrieve them and walk them up the stairs to heaven.
Halfway he decides to test the 3 women with a progressive joke so horrible that it transcends the fourth dimension of politically incorrect humor. "If you laugh before we get there," God says, "you'll fall back to the start and have to do it over again."
God starts telling the joke and seconds in the brunette cracks and falls into a dimensionless plane. As the redhead and the blonde stare down into the void God resumes the joke.
After a while, the redhead bursts into laughter and disappears into the void as well. God continues to tell the joke and finally finishes it. The blonde continues to be as stoic as ever, and the two continue on to Heaven with no incident.
Hours later, God is touring the blonde around the place. The blonde arbitrarily starts rolling on the floor laughing. God asks, "What's so goddamn funny?"
The blonde replies, "I get it now."
What's the difference between a baby and a fridge.
[sp]A fridge doesn't scream when you put your meat in it[/sp]
[editline]2nd October 2012[/editline]
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
[sp]Quarter pounder with cheese[/sp]
[editline]2nd October 2012[/editline]
What's long and black?
[sp]The unemployment line[/sp]
what's the fastest land animal on planet earth?
[sp]an ethiopian chicken[/sp]
How do you know a black woman is pregnant?
[sp]All the cotton's picked out of her tampon[/sp]
What do Princess Diana and Wine have in common?
[sp]They both come from France in a wooden box.[/sp]
Why do Scotsman wear kilts?
[sp]Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.[/sp]
[QUOTE=Kartoffel;37877808]What do Princess Diana and Wine have in common?
[sp]They both come from France in a wooden box.[/sp]
Why do Scotsman wear kilts?
[sp]Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.[/sp][/QUOTE]
That's not why we wear kilts. It's because we're almost as ass-backwards as Ireland. The man dresses make us feel better about being naturally stupid.
my kind of thread.
whats the difference between jews and boyscouts?
[sp]boyscouts come home from camp[/sp]
SWEET I know some Hellen Keller jokes noone has said yet!
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
[sp]You would too if your name was AHHHHGENUFFBERR[/sp]
Why did Hellen Keller fire her maid?
[sp]She left the plunger in the toilet[/sp]
[QUOTE=ewitwins;37880598]SWEET I know some Hellen Keller jokes noone has said yet!
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
[sp]You would too if your name was AHHHHGENUFFBERR[/sp]
Why did Hellen Keller fire her maid?
[sp]She left the plunger in the toilet[/sp][/QUOTE]
Both of those have been said
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice.
[sp]Except for Chris Brown.[/sp]
Why don't black people go on cruises?
[sp]They're not falling for that one again.[/sp]
What is the difference between a usb port and a baby.
[sp]A usb port will only accept one size of plug[/sp]
-snip- unfunny
what did the beaver say when he swam into the wall
[SP]DAM[/SP]
Madeleine Mccann = Schrodinger's cat
[QUOTE=Kartoffel;37877808]
Why do Scotsman wear kilts?
[sp]Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.[/sp][/QUOTE]
I thought it was the Welsh that fuck sheep
[QUOTE=Slowbro;37881500]Nothing beats a [U][B]woman[/B][/U] with a beautiful singing voice.
[sp]Except for Chris Brown.[/sp][/QUOTE]
robot*
[QUOTE=Piciul;37885511]robot*[/QUOTE]
What?
[QUOTE=HazzaHardie;37885109]I thought it was the Welsh that fuck sheep[/QUOTE]
Its the Kiwis
Trust me i know, im Australian
[QUOTE=Slowbro;37885528]What?[/QUOTE]
reference to his extreme amounts of autotune usage
[QUOTE=WingedAssailant;37885541]Its the Kiwis
Trust me i know, im Australian[/QUOTE]
Oh god why.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
[sp]Because he saw his gas bill.[/sp]
Why do people hit machines when they don't work?
[sp]It worked with the slaves...[/sp]
Four gay guys are in a jacuzzi when a bunch of semen floats up.
One of them asks, [sp]"Who farted"[/sp]
[editline]IcantCLIMAXunlessTHERESaMIDGETSfingerINmyASS[/editline]
Alternatively, [sp]two of them ask "Who farted"[/sp]
How many Poles does it take to cut down a tree?
[sp]96 and 1 airplane.[/sp]
[QUOTE=Foxconn;37886637]How many Poles does it take to cut down a tree?
[sp]96 and 1 airplane.[/sp][/QUOTE]
I'm at loss of words. Bravo.
What's six inches long, is in a man's pants, and women love to blow it?
[sp]money[/sp]
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