Hitler didn't actually want to "Gas the Jews"... He just wanted a glass of juice...
[sp]edit: Crap, just realized it was a meme.. uh oh.. at least I didn't say it exactly the way it was told... [/sp]
I'm going to hell and yes, old joke...
Not sure if old but
What is the ultimate jewish dilemma?
[sp]free bacon[/sp]
A man is walking along a beach, sad and depressed, when he hears a booming voice from the heavens.
"DIG!" says the voice. The man looks around, a little confused. "DIG!" Booms the oice again.
The man thinks what the hell and starts digging at the sand in front of him. Suddenly he hits a wooden box. He picks it up and the voice shouts "OPEN!"
He opens it to see hundreds of gold coins. He's a little taken aback when the voice shouts again "CASINO!" What the hell, thinks the guy, so off he walks. He enters the casino door when he hears the voice shout "ROULETTE!" He walks over to the roulette table and awaits more instructions.
"16 BLACK!" the voice says So the man puts the whole chest on 16 black, the wheel is spun and it lands on 5 red. "FUCK!" shouts the voice.......
--------------------
-What's the difference between a black man and a snow tire?
[sp]A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.[/sp]
---------------------
A lonely frog, desparate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future has in store. His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?" -"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."-
What's the dirtiest thing on a 6 year old Muslim girl?
Her husband.
What's the largest organ in a newborn child?
[sp]My penis[/sp]
Here's an old one:
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
What's another name for a bank robbery?
[sp]A jewish bank transfer[/sp]
since maxofs2d's promotion to mod, bad jokes are now apparently a bannable offense.
so basically this thread is doomed
The Frenchman's gonna have a bloody good time in this thread.
Watch your arses, lads, it's gonna get messy.
It's dedicated to bad jokes, so hopefully it will result in diplomatic immunity.
[QUOTE=Cheshire_cat;37943677]It's dedicated to bad jokes, so hopefully it will result in diplomatic immunity.[/QUOTE]
It's been revoked.
After death, what organ in the female body stays warm?
[sp]my dick[/sp]
better quickly tell my joke before the mods come around.
Why is Panadol white?
[sp]Because it works.[/sp]
Whats the hardest part about eating a Vegetabe?
[sp]The wheelchair.[/sp]
[QUOTE=Cyanlime;37943650]since maxofs2d's promotion to mod, bad jokes are now apparently a bannable offense.
so basically this thread is doomed[/QUOTE]
Looks like this is going to be a new facepunch cull.
Welp here's another joke.
There was a french guy, a british guy, a mexican, and a texan on a plane and the pilot said
"Shit! one of the engines is failing, you are going to have to jump!"
and so the french guy grabbed a parachute and jumped out while yelling "VIVA LA FRANCE!".
After that the brit went ahead and jumped while yelling "god save the queen!".
The texan went up and yelled "REMEMBER THE ALAMO" and threw the mexican out of the plane.
Not sure if late but still.
[B]How is the French flag racist?[/B]
[sp]It'd rather be white[/sp]
my history teacher asked me if I knew what the holocaust was
hillarious wasn't the right answer
Doctor: "It's bad news, you have cancer and Alzheimer's."
Patient: "Oh well, it could be worse - at least I don't have cancer."
Mario's story. Im unable to link videos, my apologies. video and media tags not working
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=hfGdihIhyF4[/url]
Why did Billy drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a bus.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.
So a woman is lying in labor getting her first child. Her baby finally comes out. The doctor looks at it, then at her and starts throwing the baby against the walls, stomping its head, finally kicking it into a trash can. The woman looks at him in utter shock.
He looks her in the eye, grinning and says: [sp]April fools! It was already dead.[/sp]
[QUOTE=Uncle Bourbon;37795090]man went to the store
shovel[/QUOTE]
Excuse me, what?
[QUOTE=maxumym;37946801]Excuse me, what?[/QUOTE]
Its a classic Finnish anti-joke.
There isn't anything to special to understand.
Whats the difference between a Frenchmen and a bucket of shit?
[sp]The bucket[/sp]
if there's a white duck
and a black duck
which does the old lady give to first
[sp] the white duck lolXD [/sp]
[QUOTE=P90 the Pyro;37946899]if there's a white duck
and a black duck
which does the old lady give to first
[sp] the white duck lolXD [/sp][/QUOTE]LOL XD so funneh!
What did the baby get for christmas?
cancer
[QUOTE=Fuckitbucket;37914434][IMG]https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/3700_424405400955719_1289753107_n.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]
oh god thats like the funniest thing ever
[QUOTE=P90 the Pyro;37946899]if there's a white duck
and a black duck
which does the old lady give to first
[sp] the white duck lolXD [/sp][/QUOTE]
[t]https://dl.dropbox.com/u/68500821/lol/illjustthrowaway.gif[/t]
snip
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
It's funny how everyone initally thinks 2 babies in a trash can. But no, [sp]One baby in 4 trashcans.[/sp]
[QUOTE=Mindfuck 2;37949121]What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
It's funny how everyone initally thinks 2 babies in a trash can. But no, [sp]One baby in 4 trashcans.[/sp][/QUOTE]
I don't get it...
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