Well in my case. You have to be COMPLETELY oblivious to all signals from females. Then the female has to have multiple failed attempts to get the required response from me. Then her brother has to get annoyed by said failed attempts, and has to come right up to you and say "My sister really likes you". Only then will everything "click".
But that might just be me.
once you have more than 50 posts posted on this forum you will have 0% of having a girlfriend ever in your life
Say yes a lot.
[QUOTE=Metaru;52024090]The real question is how to get a girlfriend from facepunch.[/QUOTE]Chloroform, no-questions-asked international shipping, and a good lawyer.
[QUOTE=The bird Man;52024934]Show her your collection of gas masks.[/QUOTE]
Gas masks are a symbol of fertility
Not sure if this is a joke thread or not. But let me explain my thoughts on "Say yes a lot.":
Let's say you're in a bar, alone. You confront someone who is of your same sex and not out of your league and say "yes". If he responses with a facial that tells you that he do not wish to continue this conversation, keep trying until you find one less defect.
You now got a friend. A bro.
This friend usually have interests or other friends. Combine your interests and friends to grow stronger.
There is now a 8,6% chance of a female appearing in your life.
Go on and get a stronger network of friends to increase your chances. This might take some time.
But never ever say no to anything. "Hey wanna go see a movie naked?" Yes. "Hey dude, I found this chicken, do you know how to pluck it? I am hungry" Yes. And so on. Daring to say yes makes you and your network stronger and thus increases your chances of socializing with a female being.
Once a female is found within your network you magically must have something common. Because hey she is in your network.
1) Check if single
2) Ask if she want to hang out sometime.
Remember you are the strong one now. The one with the big network of people. She will highly respect you giving her your precious time. When she asks you "Sooo when are you free?" You will answer... Remember what we've learned!
She is now yours.
[QUOTE=zeromancer;52027585]The amount of vagina repellent in this thread is great, keep up the good work guys.
EDIT:
dont look at my avatar though[/QUOTE]
this one sounds like real advice though
[QUOTE=LaughingOrange;52025757]While putting yourself out there around more people increases your chances, do not actively go out seeking a partner if you want true love; I think that's setting you up for disappointment. You'll become frustrated or have your self-esteem lowered, etc. Love is something subconscious and instinctive, something that happens without you having much control over it. You shouldn't wait around wishing for love, nor should you actively go hunt for it - It'll just happen when you least expect it, like many other things in life. But don't shut yourself in like it's inevitable no matter what you do; you have to actually talk to other people, and try to seek the courage if you're shy (like I was and still am). Not everyone will like you, but even less people will dislike you, and even less people than that might have feelings for you. But you'll never know until you break the ice, even if it's just casual small talk. I get the feeling that very few successful relationships start off with the both of them trying to be lovers right off the bat. It's a build up, going from acquaintances to friends to good friends to even better friends and so forth. So, in a sense, try to primarily make friends instead of matchmaking or dating. Even if they "friend zone" you, you'll still have one more friend than what you started off with, and aren't good friends also very valuable?
Further more, while love can certainly be something to look forward to and dream about, there's much more to actual living than loving. Not saying that having offspring can't be likened to the meaning of life itself, or that feeling loved and sharing a life with someone is overrated, it's just that there's much more other things to focus on in the mean time. I think the best time spent is when you focus on improving yourself; improving your craft, your work, your studies, your health, your knowledge, your abilities, your situation in life. Because, while you might fall in love, the feelings are never guaranteed to be mutual. So try to be your best self when that day comes, try to become the person you want to be and [U]always[/U] stay true to yourself. As in, don't follow any bullshit guides or act like someone you're not. If you pretend to be anything but yourself and someone falls in love with you - they won't actually love you, just the person you're pretending to be.
If you're really desperate, you should just calm down. Don't be afraid of being alone your whole life, like I was. It's a sad thought, and it might turn out to be true, but I think you'll find it easier to be around people when you're not sad or depressed. To reiterate; focus on other things and do things that make you happy, but keep it in the back of your mind by all means. Just don't let your days be dragged down by feeling lonely or desiring love. Live every day to the fullest and be happy while you do so, and one day things might just click into place for you and someone else. At the very least, you don't have to look back at your time chasing love when you're older and wish you'd spent your time more wisely. We've got a limited time in life, and chances are you're only going to experience it once, so just live your life and don't think about it.
Fucking go out there, talk to people, have fun and love yourself. That's how I personally think you'll get a girlfriend or boyfriend.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Fox Powers;52029290]this [B]one[/B] sounds like real advice though[/QUOTE]
Post #102
[QUOTE=Shadow7;52028177]Say yes a lot.[/QUOTE]
no
Don't wear baggy jeans or any baggy trousers of that matter. If you do, you're not trendy or attractive. Get yourself a pair of skinny jeans or any other skinny trousers. That's one of the steps.
[QUOTE=TheCrazyGoD;52030009]Don't wear baggy jeans or any baggy trousers of that matter. If you do, you're not trendy or attractive. Get yourself a pair of skinny jeans or any other skinny trousers. That's one of the steps.[/QUOTE]
But what if you're a big fatass motherfucker
Just don't think about it. If you are asking a question like this on Facepunch chances are you won't have any luck, spend your free time on hobbies rather than getting depressed over the fact that you can't get a girlfriend.
Wait until you are 45 and shell out your lottery ticket money on eHarmony points. N3rds don't get laid easy.
1. Take care of yourself (IE basic hygiene, clean clothing, show you care about yourself. If you don't care about yourself it usually means a lot of negative things).
2. Be confident in your own abilities and self.
3. talk to the person like a normal human being.
4. talk about her, ask about her life such as school, work, goals, etc. Show interest in her without getting to crazy.
5. answer her questions truthfully, don't bullshit or try to bend the truth.
6. don't be cocky or a show off.
7. whatever you do don't bring up politics or shit like that during the first meet or dates unless she really brings it up. Avoid controversy.
8. Don't be a dick, respect goes along way. Most dudes spend more time talking about their actions instead of actually doing them. Gauge her personality and see what she likes or would like. Some women don't like people doing certain things for them.
9. Don't forget to smile and laugh. Most women like it and feel more comfortable with someone who just allows things to flow naturally. If she makes a bad joke and you laugh at it to make her feel better you'll get called out but usually they like it.
10. Most people say don't do this, but i've done it every time and it works really well. After a date specially the first one the next day send a little good-morning message and tell her you really enjoyed the date last night.
11. If she starts texting you a lot specially during the night take the time to stay up and text or talk to her. She is clearly showing interest. Or if your busy or at work and can't at least respond when you can.
Overall I say trust your gut and do what you feel is right and true to yourself. No point in being with someone who isn't gonna like the real you.
MOST IMPORTANTLY DUDE - DON'T TAKE REJECTION PERSONALLY. Take it as a learning opportunity. It better on the long run and plus you don't want to be with someone whom you have to "Fake it" with it.
If you're just starting go to a regular social place your comfortable with. Like for example at a bar if I see a cutey I'll wait and I see them often I'll buy them a drink. They will usually talk to you if you do, and from there it gets started. Sometimes I make friends (which is perfectly fine and awesome), sometimes you get a date :)
Backpage/adultwork
[QUOTE=Pitchfork;52017845]When you're talking to a chick, take just a second to think about whether or not the next thing you're about to say is something that sounds creepy. If it sounds creepy, then think of something else. Rinse and repeat. Same with actions. If what you're about to do is creepy, then do something that isn't creepy.
It may seem obvious, but I've known guys who don't do this. It doesn't go well.[/QUOTE]
Tried this, spent the whole date sternly staring at a wall and she got bored and left.
Would NOT recommend.
[QUOTE=Drury;52031125]Tried this, spent the whole date sternly staring at a wall and she got bored and left.
Would NOT recommend.[/QUOTE]
It's a trained ability. Few people are inherently great at small talk. You just need to know how to fill silence without forcing a fill in the silence. Find a good balance between asking questions and talking about yourself/segueing into stories. Too much of one or the other and you can come off as creepy or conceded. Just have some icebreakers and conversation carriers in mind beforehand and sprinkle them in as needed.
[QUOTE=Punchy;52031183]It's a trained ability. Few people are inherently great at small talk. You just need to know how to fill silence without forcing a fill in the silence. Find a good balance between asking questions and talking about yourself/segueing into stories. Too much of one or the other and you can come off as creepy or conceded. Just have some icebreakers and conversation carriers in mind beforehand and sprinkle them in as needed.[/QUOTE]
"There was this thread at facepunch about getting a gf-"
A pack of condoms, duct tape, rope, a chair, and some ice cream.
I equate people who say "just be yourself" with people who say to mix bleach and ammonia to make crystals, or whatever the thing was.
It's not just factually incorrect, it's very dangerous, and could seriously harm/injure anyone naive enough to try it.
learn to play guitar duh
[editline]31st March 2017[/editline]
this post is not facetious i mean this
[QUOTE=Little Donny;52036403]learn to play guitar duh
[editline]31st March 2017[/editline]
this post is not facetious i mean this[/QUOTE]
"anyway, here's wonderwall." Nailed it.
[QUOTE=gustavholst;52037266]"anyway, here's wonderwall." Nailed it.[/QUOTE]
sorry dude most girls don't know the words to the planets suite
[QUOTE=Ardosos;52036397]I equate people who say "just be yourself" with people who say to mix bleach and ammonia to make crystals, or whatever the thing was.
It's not just factually incorrect, it's very dangerous, and could seriously harm/injure anyone naive enough to try it.[/QUOTE]
Care to elaborate? I think the point of that statement is "don't pretend to be someone you're not", rather than "don't every try to improve yourself", if that's what you're thinking it's saying.
[QUOTE=Little Donny;52036403]learn to play guitar duh
[editline]31st March 2017[/editline]
this post is not facetious i mean this[/QUOTE]
[video=youtube;ypuaJLHK_LQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypuaJLHK_LQ[/video]
learn to play this and you'll have all the lassies and laddies all up on your dick
Depends on your stage of life;
Teen-age = Good looks/style with some sort of vehicle ?car/cool motorbike
Adult = Money. Or a great job.
But all in all girlfiends are something that you want, until you actually have it.
[QUOTE=Mort Stroodle;52041370]Care to elaborate? I think the point of that statement is "don't pretend to be someone you're not", rather than "don't every try to improve yourself", if that's what you're thinking it's saying.[/QUOTE]
I have a real hard time articulating my points with stuff like this, so bear with me here.
Basically, if someone is in a position where they ask for advice, it means that obviously they either don't have the answer themselves, or they are trying to decide between two or more actions and want an external opinion on the matter. With relationships, failure has very severe consequences.
Imagine you're learning to drive, and you ask your instructor which pedal is the gas and which is the break, and your instructor says "oh just be yourself and the car will accelerate naturally" and said nothing else. That doesn't tell you anything, you still won't know the technique, you won't magically be able to do it correctly. This isn't some movie, the power is not inside you all along. It's not a confidence issue.
And, worst of all, it's a non-answer. Someone makes a genuine request for advice, some person says "be yourself", and people read that and go "yep, that question has been answered". Not only does it not convey any information, it prevents actual, useful advice from being given.
It's just so frustrating, especially with such an important topic like relationships, to put yourself out there and ask advice, to demonstrate a willingness to learn, only to get an answer like that. It's like a slap in the face.
That's how I see it, anyway.
[editline]e[/editline]
"Don't pretend to be someone you're not", to contrast, is actually useful advice.
[QUOTE=Ardosos;52041971]I have a real hard time articulating my points with stuff like this, so bear with me here.
It's just so frustrating, [b]especially with such an important topic like relationships,[/b] to put yourself out there and ask advice, to demonstrate a willingness to learn, only to get an answer like that. It's like a slap in the face.
That's how I see it, anyway.
[editline]e[/editline]
"Don't pretend to be someone you're not", to contrast, is actually useful advice.[/QUOTE]
You're putting relationships on a pedestal and that is your downfall.
And the driving analogy is just bad because relationships and driving are two different things. In driving, of course you're gonna need specific instructions on how to do things, otherwise you'll risk killing someone or yourself.
There's no surefire way to get into a relationship, because people are all different. Which is why "be yourself" is good enough advice. The most guidance you'll probably need is how to better your own self-esteem and put yourself out there more, because you'll miss all the shots you don't take.
I've had friends tell me that the way to get a gf is to just not care.
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