dumb shit you thought as a kid - General

Oh yeah, I also recall my family sitting down in a conference-looking room discussing time-share plans with the agent dude and I was impatient and really wanted out, so I kept drawl chanting 'I'm a home-o that wants to go home-o' simply cause it flowed well. it was also very convenient that, apparently, the guy they were talking with was flamboyant. I had no clue the string of words I was piecing together was remotely ludicrous. I was like, 9 and my parents still get hysterical about it to this day

in pokemon sapphire I thought professor birch was professor bitch, got in trouble saying it around my parents

I was in preschool and started ryhming random words "Na Na SA SA CA CA" I had a uptight teacher who then called my mother to the school 'You'd son has been swearing" Apparently CaCa means poop in Spanish, and that is taboo. My mom laughed her ass off

I had super-curly hair as a kid, and I didn't quite understand that this wasn't just normal, all the time, everywhere. My mom has a story about when I was four (I don't remember this), I was with her downtown, and some old lady with curly hair (from curlers -- not that I knew that those even existed) said "You've got such beautiful curly hair!" to me. Four-year-old me said, without skipping a beat, "I was born with mine, where'd you get yours?" My mom nearly fell over from laughing. [QUOTE=Last or First;50074309]-accidental racism stories-[/QUOTE] dumb shit you thought as a kid V. not racist just fucking dumb

I thought I was adopted Well, I don't know if that counts, because I still think that, but you know

I was traumatized and horrified because I stayed out too long at recess and got in trouble, and another time when I forgot my homework, these were punishable by death in my eyes.

[QUOTE=elixwhitetail;50073566]Oh shit, you just reminded me of the first time I said "nigger" out loud. I had [I]no[/I] idea what it meant.[/QUOTE] There was a "badass" kid in my neighborhood who was chilling with me in our driveway (I think we were fixing our bikes or something) and he was surprised I didn't know any curse words, so taught me the word "fucking" and told me it sorta meant "seriously", so I went inside and told my parents I was "really fucking hungry". I didn't get to hang out with him anymore. [QUOTE=Glitchman;50074234]Before 1st grade I used to think girls had dicks too[/QUOTE] I thought this until like 4th grade, I had a dream once that girls had a little robotic dick that poked out so they could piss, and there were actually urinals in the girl's room. This is incidentally the basis for the imaginary company I ran with a few equally fucked friends, in that our goal was to expose girls as having dicks hidden in their pussies, and the bulk of medicine on the topic was wrong

The first time I saw a black male I asked my mum "why is that man covered in chocolate?"

I used to believe that whenever I was watching a movie, everything that happened was actually happening at the same time as I was watching. I sometimes deliberately paused a movie or rewinded a part, to give the actors a tough time keeping up.

[QUOTE=Reagy;50073747]Thought I was adopted, sometimes I still think I might be.[/QUOTE] I used to be friends well not so much now, with this one kid who was kinda crazy and hyperactive at the time, and I told my mom one day "man this boy is way too different than his parents and sister" and many years later it turns out he was indeed adopted. Now It all made sense to me. /to the topic I used to think the whole world was "Romania" almost implying that the other countries were situated on other planets. That's some weed shit thinking isn't it?

the first time i saw a black man i got the real jump scares, i told my mom "look a ghost!" and it got really akward(for them) I was only 2-3, This was at my moms workplace I also thought that you could cure a cold by getting bacteria from a healthy person(transmit a cure) And i thought if you Reported a player on runescape jagex(the makers) would give you the account feels good to share stories

I used to think people used chopsticks because they were poor. When I was like 6/7, I saw someone walking with a tray of something and they were using chopsticks. I apologised to them and offered to give them money to buy 'proper things to eat food with'. My mum was just like "what the hell are you doing?"

i thought i was good looking

That dinosaurs were from another planet.

[QUOTE=NightmareX91;50073425]When I was a kid, I always thought that if a house didn't have a fireplace, Santa would kick the doors down like a badass and stick them back up with superglue. [sp]I still think this now.[/sp][/QUOTE] I thought he'd turn himself into magic dust to sneak through our patio doors.

i used to think the toilet seat was just for kids learning to use the toilet and when you got good at shitting you had to sit on the toilet rim.

I thought helicopters had ejector seats for a long time until I actually used my brain for once. [QUOTE=Snowmew;50075032]There was a "badass" kid in my neighborhood who was chilling with me in our driveway (I think we were fixing our bikes or something) and he was surprised I didn't know any curse words, so taught me the word "fucking" and told me it sorta meant "seriously", so I went inside and told my parents I was "really fucking hungry". I didn't get to hang out with him anymore.[/QUOTE] In a way your friend isn't entirely wrong.

I used to think the world was in my head and nothing and no one was real by like kindergarten, which then freaked out my parents.

I used to think I was a fetus in my dad's ballsack before I somehow ended up in my mamas belly because they loved each other very much. No joke.

[QUOTE=kloaz;50079287]I thought helicopters had ejector seats for a long time until I actually used my brain for once.[/QUOTE] A couple actually do, they blow the rotor blades off with explosives before ejecting straight up :v:

This sounds horrible but I use to think black people were people that decided to live inside chimneys and they were covered in that soot. I was afraid when my family got our chimney cleaned because I thought one was going to climb down in the night and get me. To be fair though I didn't see any black people in real life, only on TV. There seems tobe a lot of people here that said/thought stupid shit about black people as kids

[QUOTE=wauterboi;50079295]I used to think the world was in my head and nothing and no one was real by like kindergarten, which then freaked out my parents.[/QUOTE] The matrix fucked up my childhood because I thought the same thing. Now I read today that adults think we live in a simulated universe, where nothing is actually real. Also when I was a kid I thought being an Adult was fun, and things do get better. I was proven so very wrong.

Because of how honey looked in Pooh, I thought it tasted like melted cheese.

I thought weed was medicine for curing dwarfs because my dad told me you got high from smoking it. I thought the middle east was actually another dimension and that china was underground. I thought there were birds that wore hats that could talk and lived in civilisations and old men were really just their cultists. I am not bullshitting y'all I was seriously that weird. [editline]6th April 2016[/editline] Also I thought the seats in planes werent actually attached to the plane, and people sat in them like living rooms, I also thought they could fly to space and that was how we landed on the moon. I felt bad for the "old people" that got caught in turbulence because I thought they would get thrown around like lego figures inside a lego airplane.. I also thought there were ghosts in the forest and skeletons in the swamp.

I thought wind turbines existed just to look scary. Also, when I was 3 I looked through an airliner's window and all I saw was flat clouds and fog, which resembled an endless snow plain. Thus, I assumed we were flying over antarctica.

[QUOTE=NeverGoWest;50079950]I thought weed was medicine for curing dwarfs because my dad told me you got high from smoking it.[/QUOTE] This is actually genius though.

I thought that the number 320 was a bad word. I don't recall why.

I used to think Pennsylvania and Transylvania were the same place. I firmly believed for a while that Pennsylvania was dark spooky place where Dracula lived.

I got really mad at my mom one time and thought of starting a "kid uprising" if some kids didn't want to fight I would convince them their mommy was a meanie pant and to join my cause. I had it all planned out and everything and then I forgot all about it. I realize now I was a "dumb pants" and my mom just loved me. I think the idea came from a movie. Lol

I used to think, back in the 50s, everything was in black and white, because all I had seen from then was old black and white movies. The only non black and white movie from back then I had seen was The Wizard of Oz, which had color, but I thought that they had added that to the movie to show it was another strange and distant world. I also had no idea how sex worked until I was like in 6th grade until I masturbated for the first time. I knew how it worked, but I didn't know it felt good. So I was extremely confused for a while.