[QUOTE=AntiNazi;33326387]Ok,prepare.
I own some explosives in my garage,but gay mafia tried to steal it! So i took TNT and put it in a grenade launcher,when i shot at the mafia car,the papal guards came from a cloud and started shooting,i escaped to Amazon so i could hide. Then pope sent MEL GIBSON to me,but i severed his dick of with a wedge cutter and he cried like a baby,when i returned,GAY MAFIA was there,so i had to show them porn to make them die,and TERROLISTITS came to FUCK me,so i escaped to a tower and hid in a vent,when they found me,i threw a fish tat gets in their DICK and eats their BALLS so they died instantly,i then jumped from the sun and rescued MARIO so we could get BOXER in the house,but the pope came in a tank so we ran and ran,and then we found a CHUCK NORRIS. CHUCK NORRIS threw a GABE NEWELL at the tank and it exploded,then we met hot girlz. The end.[/QUOTE]
cool
i didnt think id find the worst post ever today
As i don't had internet for a week, i made my own porn with Pivot ([url]http://www.chip.de/downloads/Pivot_13013819.html[/url])
It worked..but..
I felt creepy after fapping to this :s
I am friend zoned by every woman I like or once liked. ALL MY RAGE
I used to lift up my bike and put it upside down. Then I catched some frogs and put them between the gear and the chain that drives the rear wheel. Then I spun the pedal so that they would get crushed to death.
I was a monster...
I had a terrible childhood, I was constantly bullied because of my weak auto esteem.
[QUOTE=Zovox;33334141]I used to lift up my bike and put it upside down. Then I catched some frogs and put them between the gear and the chain that drives the rear wheel. Then I spun the pedal so that they would get crushed to death.
I'm was a monster...[/QUOTE]
Oh god, now I'm all :smith:
oh lawd this thread made my day
My secret is when I was little I would stretch my penis until it was more than 5 in long and then I began to make my sisters life size Barbie suck it.
[QUOTE=Vintage Thatguy;33336230]My secret is when I was little I would stretch my penis until it was more than 5 in long and then I began to make my sisters life size Barbie suck it.[/QUOTE]
You aren't the only one.
I didn't know how to tie my shoe laces until like 11 because all of my she's were velcro or something
I never played most of the games people talk about like call of duty 4, 6, 8 or any battlefield game, or Zelda games, pokemon games, all of those Ames I never played but I still knew the shit when I talked about it like when I talk about how I got this bad ass kill streak, bank Shot, no scopes, shit like that...
I am not a furry anymore, and I feel sad about it.
[QUOTE=Blue Meanie;33337617]I am not a furry anymore, and I feel sad about it.[/QUOTE]
If you feel sad, you could always go back to it and why did you leave it?
After reading this thread, I never want to use the school bathrooms anymore. I'm afraid I'll find an FPer masturbating.
My deepest secret is that when I was a kid, I was afraid of spiders, and there was one in the kindergarten bathroom. I had to go so bad that I took a shit with my feet on the lid and my knees up against my chest. I did this for about the entire year in fear the spider was still in that restroom
When I was little I would take pieces of plastic or glass and collect as many slugs as I could around the yard, and then dissect them. Back then I thought it was cool. Now I feel bad about it.
I was a little kid and I had to pee, so I just strolled right into the bathroom and started pissing n the sink. No idea why. I realized what I was doing half-way. Thought "Screw it", finished it, rinsed the sink and walke away.
As a child, my favorite past time was slaughtering countless fire bugs. They swarmed in the hundreds sometimes. I would sometimes round them up in a ring of rocks and I would try and make them fight to the death. Fuck that's not really a secret...I have deeper secrets but honestly I don't have the balls to say them on the internet, since I am not completely anonymous, and also because they are secrets for a reason and I don't want to be severely embarrassed by anything.
[QUOTE=SpaceGhost;33135220]I would probably never say this to someone in real life, some people have me and fucked me over so bad if I found out who did it(not gonna say what they did), I would seriously contemplate killing them. But since I won't be in the shit hole town for too much longer guess it won't matter.[/QUOTE]
uhh, wanting someone you dislike to be gone is human nature
[QUOTE=Zovox;33334141]I used to lift up my bike and put it upside down. Then I catched some frogs and put them between the gear and the chain that drives the rear wheel. Then I spun the pedal so that they would get crushed to death.
I'm was a monster...[/QUOTE]
Hahaha oh man I have to try that.
I lost my virginity to a very fat chick.
Who then later played me and started to date my brother and lived here, in my home, for 4 years. I had to see that bitch almost everyday.
I can't confirm my sexuality.
I say I'm Heterosexual
My brain say's I'm Bisexual.
I just can't figure out WHO I am.
after being heavily bullied in primary and early high school i adapted the "chandler" lifestyle as i call it. i couldn't fight, being too weak (never had a fight), instead i learned to fight back with sarcastic jokes and witty zings -i was fast enough to run away. nowadays i don't get bullied and i'm one of the (apparantly) funniest people you could meet (making jokes and puns very very frequently) :smile: defense mechanisms are great.
[QUOTE=Rocko's;33340519]I can't confirm my sexuality.
I say I'm Heterosexual
My brain say's I'm Bisexual.
I just can't figure out WHO I am.[/QUOTE]
A bisexual maybe?
[QUOTE=Cypher_09;33341188]after being heavily bullied in primary and early high school i adapted the [B]"chandler" lifestyle[/B] as i call it. i couldn't fight, being too weak (never had a fight), instead i learned to fight back with sarcastic jokes and witty zings -i was fast enough to run away. nowadays i don't get bullied and i'm one of the (apparantly) funniest people you could meet (making jokes and puns very very frequently) :smile: defense mechanisms are great.[/QUOTE]
[release][release][img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_DQ9490rWlek/Sf_UKTgfunI/AAAAAAAAAAM/5tUrY-YtDHI/s320/203161713_l.jpg[/img][/release]
Well, it'-it's good t'know 'least someone took an ol' page outta the ol' Chandler bible.[/release]
I have enjoyed having no friends for the last 2 years.
I am endangering my own mental health through hypnosis. The goal being controlled hallucinations
Instead of masturbating, I like to jam my dick between a pillow and the mattress and hump it. It's too awkward for me to get off knowing its my hand touching that shit.
I've turned down two threesomes whilst drunk, one with two guys and one with two twins with fantastic tits. Worst regret of my life I didn't accept either of them.
[QUOTE=Trumple;33263380]If you live your life in fear you'll waste it
Don't think about what comes after, because no one knows.[/QUOTE]
Not to start a religious shitfest, but yeah, we know what happens after death. Nothing. Now before anyone say "You don't know that", and well, yeah, I do. Like we know what happens when we drop a stone (it hits the ground), we know that there isn't an afterlife. Saying that there is, is the same as saying that the stone goes to a place called "stone heaven" after it hits the ground. I don't have a problem with people that believes otherwise (I have my share of close friends who are religious), but the always neutral, open response "nobody knows" is simply dumb. I'm not saying that you're dumb, but pretending that science could suggest otherwise, is not true.
Sorry, I had to get that out.
I don't really have any friends, and anyone that does try to be friends with me, I start to hate them because of it
1 - I was 5-6 years old. My brother invited some of his friends to come and play. We were playing the dark room game, me and my brother's friend who is older than me hide under the desk and cover it with pillows, i was wearing a skirt that day and only had panties under it. After a while he starts to touch me and says i should touch him too. I couldn't understand what he was doing at the time, but now i do. Every time I see him now I look at him in disgust.
tl;dr: I was molested by my brother's friend.
2 - I often wish I could sleep for days, simply because most of my dreams are more exciting than my life atm.
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