Shit You'd Like To Confess On An Online Forum - General

I threw one of those huge erasers at the back of my 4th grade teachers head. I was then carried out by 6 teachers.

[QUOTE=Aeternal;47781250]I threw one of those huge erasers at the back of my 4th grade teachers head. I was then carried out by 6 teachers.[/QUOTE] While we are at violence against teachers, I once accidently shot one of these tiny footballs into my sport teachers nuts.

I like Sonic R.

Sometimes whenever I say or post a joke anywhere and people don't get it or get unnerved, most of the time I refer to what Robin Williams as the Genie said in Aladdin 3: "It's a joke! I do that." [video=youtube;WuYaxZ3zNw4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuYaxZ3zNw4[/video]

[QUOTE=FunnyStarRunner;47780804]I had to repeat preschool. I knew all my letters, numbers, colors, and all the stuff a babe is supposed to be informed of, but the one thing I flunked at was being social. No excuse to hold me back.[/QUOTE] In prep, I was quite great at reading, In the final few years, one of my friends said that they were jealous on how far ahead I was, and looked up to me But well, I'm not very great and English

Sometimes, when I need to take a piss really bad (and I'm alone), I'll pretend I'm under a damage over time spell, sometimes even quietly vocalizing 'grunts' of pain (like in Minecraft when you get set on fire or Doom when you step in lava) at regular intervals when I'm on my way to the bathroom.

I'm hardly attracted to the guys around my age.

Smash Mouth isn't that bad and I actually really like their first three albums.

[QUOTE=Glitchman;47779355]I'm a really bitter, jealous, self-loathing asshole suffering from anxiety and depression. I have a stable job and relationship but I get panic attacks about nothing[/QUOTE] Somewhat the same here, except I am demisexual and I havent found any person worth loving yet and probably never will. No job but I get pretty good welfare. Panic attacks and massive stress haunts every day of my waking life, and nightmares haunt my sleep.

[QUOTE='KING]THT[WRATH;47785424']I'm hardly attracted to the guys around my age.[/QUOTE] if you are in highschool (or younger) that makes sense and is generally a good choice.

Also another confession: I hover my ass over the toilet when shitting, even if its my own god damn toilet.

I really enjoy classic/progressive rock but I almost never talk about it with anyone because most people who like it as well are really pretentious and rag on pretty much every other type of music. I don't hate modern music in fact I enjoy a good bit of it it's just I don't listen to it in my free time. I sort of wish there were more like-minded people like me who were into the same music but weren't dickbags about it

I am a really unclean and lazy person. Today i wanted to play smash bros with facepunch in the smash thread but i couldnt find my gamepad so I started to search for it. I accidentally cleaned my room in the process and found: - 4 suitcases - a PS1 memory card - An infinite amount of pairless socks - 3 pairs of socks - A plastic bag full of games - A self warming blanket - A bag of candy - An SD-card - 2 extension cords - My old 3ds which i lost 2 years ago - 2 bags worth of trash - Bottles which i returned and got like 5 € - 3 € worth of money in coins And some other crap not worth noting.

[QUOTE=Makzu;47794026] [B]And some other crap not worth noting.[/B][/QUOTE] It's Bad Dragon, isn't it?

[QUOTE=Makzu;47794026]I am a really unclean and lazy person. Today i wanted to play smash bros with facepunch in the smash thread but i couldnt find my gamepad so I started to search for it. I accidentally cleaned my room in the process and found: - 4 suitcases - a PS1 memory card - An infinite amount of pairless socks - 3 pairs of socks - A plastic bag full of games - A self warming blanket - A bag of candy - An SD-card - 2 extension cords - My old 3ds which i lost 2 years ago - 2 bags worth of trash - Bottles which i returned and got like 5 € - 3 € worth of money in coins And some other crap not worth noting.[/QUOTE] Also i forgot to mention that i didnt actually find my gamepad :-<

my title is a lie

I clap every time I fart. My butthole is musically gifted, its performances of flatulent symphony are of such.. asstounding character!

[QUOTE=Stoffy;47786209]Smash Mouth isn't that bad and I actually really like their first three albums.[/QUOTE] They're actually pretty good, I agree. A friend of mine loves them.

If i could be alone for several days straight, i would use it to record my own versions of songs from Gaga and Marina and the Diamonds.

I open the toilet seat every time and check for spiders before I sit down

[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;47729376]I kinda wished the alcohol prohibition had actually worked. No mafia, no speakeasies, and people actually stopped drinking. I'm conflicted because, y'know, people should be free to do what they want, but on the other hand, I [I]really[/I] fucking hate alcohol.[/QUOTE] A few years ago in Paris, I was waiting for a plain in the Charles De Gaulle airport. I tryed to take a bunch of beer through security, of course they found it, and they told me i had to get rid of it. Me being the genius I am, decided to drink it all on the spot. Now i'm not a bad drunk, i just find certain things really really funny when i'm tipsy, and for some reason black people, jpop, and my hands all get really fucking funny. So I ended up pointing and laughing at every black person I saw, and when i finally managed to stumble to my gate i sprawled myself out on a bench, looked up some super weaby j-pop shit, and procceded to giggle to myself while staring at my hands for the next hour. I'm not sorry

[QUOTE=TheJunction;47797084]A few years ago in Paris, I was waiting for a plain in the Charles De Gaulle airport. I tryed to take a bunch of beer through security, of course they found it, and they told me i had to get rid of it. Me being the genius I am, decided to drink it all on the spot. Now i'm not a bad drunk, i just find certain things really really funny when i'm tipsy, and for some reason black people, jpop, and my hands all get really fucking funny. So I ended up pointing and laughing at every black person I saw, and when i finally managed to stumble to my gate i sprawled myself out on a bench, looked up some super weaby j-pop shit, and procceded to giggle to myself while staring at my hands for the next hour. I'm not sorry[/QUOTE] Last time I went to christiania I couldn't stop laughing at Jamaicans. Thought their dreadlocks looked funny. That's over half a year ago though. When I am drunk I usually end up pretending to be a soviet war veteran for some reason, speaking very poor, thick russian accent danish and yelling random russian insults at the sky. I am a bad drunk.

Anyone else wore a skirt before? I think they're quite comfortable and slightly cute.

I have a music addiction that causes me to have headphones on 24/7 except while showering (only cause water ruined my last pair)

[QUOTE=Hugo Strange;47797461]Anyone else wore a skirt before? I think they're quite comfortable and slightly cute.[/QUOTE] Skirts are better for your [url=http://www.belmarrahealth.com/research-shows-that-men-should-be-the-ones-in-skirts/]sperm health[/url], with no underwear, apparently. Godspeed if you're brave enough to do that.

When I was a lot younger I was afraid of black people

I'm actually a pterodactyl.

After four years i still didn't get over her.

[QUOTE=Samiam22;47797845]Skirts are better for your [url=http://www.belmarrahealth.com/research-shows-that-men-should-be-the-ones-in-skirts/]sperm health[/url], with no underwear, apparently. Godspeed if you're brave enough to do that.[/QUOTE] If you live alone then that's not a problem, dress however you like.

[QUOTE=AcidAmbience;47796117]I open the toilet seat every time and check for spiders before I sit down[/QUOTE] Smart thing to do when you live in Australia, especially if you use a public toilet in the bush areas.