Sometimes I completely space out, get lost in my thought. It is there that my soul weeps out. That my heart sings licks.
I've seriously debated whether I should just not get married in real life and marry my tulpa waifu. And to make a perfect anime world in my head and live in it.
[highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Alt of Lysa" - Big Dumb American))[/highlight]
[highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Lyna. Whatever. Alt bad." - Big Dumb American))[/highlight]
I don't know any arabic.
I'm not German, despite my username being German for "potato".
Also, sometimes my mind goes on tangents when I'm alone in the house, and I start talking to myself and acting out every single "what if" I can think of. Sometimes I've led imaginary people around the house on a tour, even showing them the spooky shit that happened in my house on a couple of occasions. I also plan out discussions that I may have in the future, as well as arguments. I have actually had discussions that I had previously planned out with people. I even practiced the part of certain conversations where I'll tell the person I'm conversing with "I've even practiced [i]this[/i] part of the conversation!"
In fact, this post is actually a variant of a planned conversation that I have had a couple of times already. :v:
All of that being said, I must confess that I have recently started having these tangents while other people are in the house (albeit much quieter). It's pretty embarrassing, especially since I don't want people to think I'm that weird quiet guy who talks to himself.
I also like to practice voice acting by myself, as well as singing (I'm not any good at singing though). The things I do when I'm alone are pretty cathartic.
I once accidentally jerked off while still in a skype call with the mic unmuted. Friends still haven't let me live that one down.
My thoughts are always in English.
[editline]14th January 2015[/editline]
Well most of the time, they're not when the thing I have to think about isn't simple like electrical engineering I'm studying
[editline]14th January 2015[/editline]
Also I prefer playing as a female character in video games as long as she's cute
I'll probably regret this but I'm somewhat jealous of people who have it harder in life because it feels like if I was in their position I would shape up and just help and work and stuff.
But at the same time I know that I would probably not shape up and I have it better being 'normal'
I feel like a piece of shit when saying this.
When i was 12 i accidently found old VHS with fucked up hentain including demons, nazi, decapitation, tentacles and blood and shit.
At first i was like "whoa", but then everything in my head was getting fucked up.
I also remember grandma calliing out from far room saying "Yo watchin cartoons? Want some sandviches?"
And i said "Grandma, yeah"
Soo i brough sandviches and watched ritual attempt to bring a satan with an orgy by machine cocks and mutants.
Life was simple.
I've lived in Puerto Rico for 5 years now and my spanish is still absolute shit.
People [I]still[/I] confuse me for a tourist.
I have a beautiful girl whose sleeping in my bed with me and I got up to browse facepunch.
Also romantic movies make me cry like a big baby.
I feel pretty content even though I don't have any friends or have almost any social interaction with anybody, I also can go weeks without talking to anybody and still feel happy
i make car noises when playing racing games
I have 16 nerf guns
The inevitability of death and crippling depression makes life really tedious.
I've been diagnosed and treated by several doctors but nothing has really helped. Therapy in particular doesn't doesn't do much; it just made me realize most of my issues are a result of my depression's influence over my life rather than my depression being a result of my problems. I feel like it's probably a genetic issue, which makes it seem all the more untreatable. Anti-depressants help me get out of bed at least, but it's not like I care to do much outside of bed anyways. I took them religiously for about a year and a half, then on and off for a while, now I don't even bother.
I don't think I've ever been happy. I can't recall a time where I ever felt "good" emotionally, even before I was old enough to know what depression is. The best I get is complacent or calm, but I'm usually just in a perpetual state of apathy or stress. Unfortunately I still get the bad emotions like anger and sadness.
It's been about half a year since I stopped getting constant suicidal thoughts, which is good. It might just be because of a growing level of apathy, but I'll take it. I still have the thought of "wow if I just killed myself I wouldn't have to deal with all this" all the time, but it's a passing thought.
Though, no matter how much I deny it, at the end of the day I always find living rather pointless since I can't enjoy it.
I listen to the village people and fistpump around the house [sp]and im straight[/sp]
I act rather blunt and unfriendly towards others when I don't believe myself to be, then I feel stupid for wondering why I have no friends.
When i go to school i scout out buildings in Stockholm that would offer me the best chance of survival in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
Sometimes i scout buildings and go through tactical advantages/disadvantages.
i also fantasise about playing instruments that I know i wouldnt actually be able to because my memory is shot
My girlfriend likes being a cat and I like being a wolf so I bought a wolf scarf/hat thing to wear while snuggling and other activities.
[QUOTE=Aeternal;46931206]My girlfriend likes being a cat and I like being a wolf so I bought a wolf scarf/hat thing to wear while snuggling and [B]other activities.[/B][/QUOTE]
:O)
I have no self-esteem
i rather see women in cute underwear than butt naked
[QUOTE=e_k_M;46931592]i rather see women in cute underwear than butt naked[/QUOTE]
Women wearing revealing clothing that doesn't actually reveal the nips or the clits is pretty hot. I believe it's because it leaves more to the imagination. It's why I find stuff like the naked back of a woman pretty sexy. You have a fun time imaginin' whats in front. (Hell, even tassels are hot)
I have an incredible fear of heights and today did a tour at the heritage prison nearby which requires you to go down a 20 metre ladder got help from the staff but did it in the end. Also got helped backup because can't climb for shit and hit my arm on a wall hard.
I don't want to sound edgy, but with everything and everyone I interact with I'll think 'You're going to die someday. Maybe I'll go to your funeral. Nothing in life is permanent.' and it's a real downer, I just can't stop thinking about it.
[QUOTE=Zakkin;46931630]Women wearing revealing clothing that doesn't actually reveal the nips or the clits is pretty hot. I believe it's because it leaves more to the imagination. It's why I find stuff like the naked back of a woman pretty sexy. You have a fun time imaginin' whats in front. (Hell, even tassels are hot)[/QUOTE]
This.
I'm terrified to post anything on any forum for fear of social stigma.
My boyfriend told me that he has a foot fetish so I gave him a foot job and turns out that I'm pretty fucking good at it
I like listening to music and doing one of the following things: Dancing to it, lip-syncing to it, fighting to it, conduct to it, etc.
I'm not really social. I also have low self-esteem. I spend most my time online, something which has been a constant in my life since my early days of my life.
Despite being Serbian, my Serbian has some issues, most notably palatalization. And despite being born in the Czech Republic, my Czech has degraded and currently only consists of a few key words and phrases. English has taken control as my de facto main language, as most of my thoughts are in English, aswell as the fact that on the Web I speak English exclusively.
When I don't have anything to do, I walk around in circles. People have called me out regarding this.
I'm pale. People like to call me a vampire because of it.
I have zoophobia. I have no idea how it developed, but every time I'm near an animal, whether it is large or small, I have this irrational fear it is going to do something to me. I've managed to handle it, as I can walk past most animals nowadays. But if said animal is overactive, like a playful puppy or dogs chasing eachother, I have to change my course in order to avoid getting close to them.
I've messed my sleep schedule badly. I stay up late at night and wake up during the afternoon. But I'm not tired. Not when I wake up nor when I go to sleep. But I feel like I'm always running out of time.
I'm self conscious, but I'm apathetic to it. I might notice an issue or a problem within my life and not do anything about it.
I contemplate a lot. Whether it be about my own life, about my near future or about current happenings within the world. I even contemplate about potential future scenarios that might happen, but never do because I don't follow said scenarios to the T. Sometimes I think of so many scenarios that I have to snap myself out of my head and back into reality.
I watched TV porn with a mate of mine and we both had a laugh.
I don't like to voice chat online because I don't know what others will think of my voice.
I have other things to confess, but I'm not willing to confess them.
Sometimes I talk in my mind about the things I'm doing like in Max Payne :v:
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