Have I told you guys about the time I nearly came on my (female) cousin? :v:
She was sleeping over at my house for a few days when we were both 12ish. It was about 1 in the morning. My cousin was asleep in my recliner and I was sitting about 2 feet away on a regular arm chair. My dick was hard enough to hang a leather helmet on so I did what was natural, masturbate furiously. As I was ejaculating my left arm had a sudden spasm and jerked my dick towards my cousin. It landed on the arm of the chair, roughly half an inch from her arm. She didn't wake up. Needless to say I was shitting myself the entire time. :v:
Obviously you haven't seen the posts I've seen, and the avatars he has had.
[QUOTE=Glitch360;28829329]Obviously you haven't seen the posts I've seen, and the avatars he has had.[/QUOTE]
What were the avatars he had?
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;28829854]What were the avatars he had?[/QUOTE]One of the most disturbing, was an avatar of him sucking on a banana in a sexual way
Well, funny story, I have to sleep in my Moms bed tonight, because my brothers friend has came over because he can't get to his house and his car has broken down, so my Moms downstairs sleeping and I'm up here.
Well fuck it, more or less I fapped in it.
[QUOTE=tommofandan;28829992]Well, funny story, I have to sleep in my Moms bed tonight, because my brothers friend has came over because he can't get to his house and his car has broken down, so my Moms downstairs sleeping and I'm up here.
Well fuck it, more or less I fapped in it.[/QUOTE]
you are a very disturbed person
One time I was in the shower fapping (I was wearing a condom too, now that I think about it I have no fucking clue why) but I was fapping and suddenly the door swung open (instant boner killer) and my sister says "Do you know where the remote is for the-" and she looked in the mirror and I still had my dick in my hand and she screamed and slammed the door. Disappointed I took off the condom, washed my hair and left but the very second I shut my door to my room I remembered the condom and how I left it in the shower and my other sister found it.
My parents sat me down and tried to explain to me the purpose of condoms (I knew what they were for at the time) and how I was "doing it wrong".
Oh my god.
Fuck, I must be like super ninja supreme. I don't even have a door, I have a bead curtain and I've never been once caught.
Damn son. That's good. I've been caught loads of times, when I've specifically went into their room first to let them know by hinting them not to come into my room. God damn!
[QUOTE=tommofandan;28861415]Damn son. That's good. I've been caught loads of times, when I've specifically went into their room first to let them know by hinting them not to come into my room. God damn![/QUOTE]
I don't understand how these people are caught. I would be more careful as the risk/embrassement outweights the reward. Don't do it unless you are alone or have a locked door with decent excuse.
[QUOTE=tommofandan;28861415]Damn son. That's good. I've been caught loads of times, when I've specifically went into their room first to let them know by hinting them not to come into my room. God damn![/QUOTE]
That's what you get for turning your room into the equivalent of Pandora's box.
[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;28862667]That's what you get for turning your room into the equivalent of Pandora's box.[/QUOTE]
Heh. It's kind of annoying since a 32" monitor is facing my screen. I was about to go in the shower one time and I was sitting naken on my bed shutting tabs and stuff whilst waiting for the shower to heat up (I was on holiday, not too good showers) and they walked in and was like "Hahahahah I can't you wanking" this was my mom btw.
I wasn't even masturbating that time either v:v:v
I wipe ALL my cum on a little stuffed penguin I had when I was younger.
My mum came into my room (I wasn't fapping btw) and picked up the penguin, didn't notice the cum, and then shoved her face into it and snuggled it.
I have never laughed so hard in my whole life.
[QUOTE=RubberFruit;28862900]I wipe ALL my cum on a little stuffed penguin I had when I was younger.
My mum came into my room (I wasn't fapping btw) and picked up the penguin, didn't notice the cum, and then shoved her face into it and snuggled it.
I have never laughed so hard in my whole life.[/QUOTE]
If I did that it would ruin my memories of child hood.
[QUOTE=RubberFruit;28862900]I wipe ALL my cum on a little stuffed penguin I had when I was younger.
My mum came into my room (I wasn't fapping btw) and picked up the penguin, didn't notice the cum, and then shoved her face into it and snuggled it.
I have never laughed so hard in my whole life.[/QUOTE]
Thats a bit fucked bro
How could you do that to a penguin?
[QUOTE=superdinoman;28862936]Thats a bit fucked bro[/QUOTE]
Yeah, no shit bro
Man, this is like a fapping addiction discussion.
Never been caught.
[QUOTE=RubberFruit;28862900]I wipe ALL my cum on a little stuffed penguin I had when I was younger.
My mum came into my room (I wasn't fapping btw) and picked up the penguin, didn't notice the cum, and then shoved her face into it and snuggled it.
I have never laughed so hard in my whole life.[/QUOTE]
I wiped all my cum on a towel once. I went to grab a snack and saw my mom entered my room and then went to take a shower. I didn't pay much attention but after she finished showering i noticed it was the same towel i wiped my cum with.
Urgh.
[QUOTE=Numidium;28806733]Does it enhance the experience?
[editline]25th March 2011[/editline]
What a pageking.[/QUOTE]
yes. yes it fucking does.
10 times better.
just saying.
Was about 15, and I was fapping away in my room to old Beyonce videos. I forgot to lock my door, and in comes my bro all happy about him winning some stupid contest in school, of course I have the sheets up to my chin at this time. My parents come in and they want us to go out and celebrate, and my dad comes and pulls the sheet off me and the look on their faces was priceless. There it was, my boner in full-on ragemode and I just ran out the room laughing. Ahh, those were the days.
Personally, I've never been caught in the act. Although I have good reason to believe that people know that I do it.
For example, my sister found a crusty sock of mine that I had hidden in a seat cushion in the basement. Thankfully, she's blissfully idiotic and didn't think much of it. But for some reason she posted it on facebook :argh:
I haven't been caught, but based on the fact that my dad gave me his collection of Playboys, I assume he'd be ok with it. :v:
Okay, so when we were younger, my brother, sister, and I all had our rooms like right next to each other. This was all good, until my sister got a boyfriend. Yeah, you can probably see where this is going.
I'm jerking it, and then suddenly I can hear my sister and her boyfriend fucking. Instant boner killer.
I try to find somewhere else, to see if I can even restore my boner, but nope. I COULD HEAR IT IN EVERY. FUCKING. ROOOOM.
Come to think of it, about 80% of my jerking off experiences being ruined were because of those two assholes. Fuck them.
[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;28865116]Okay, so when we were younger, my brother, sister, and I all had our rooms like right next to each other. This was all good, until my sister got a boyfriend. Yeah, you can probably see where this is going.
I'm jerking it, and then suddenly I can hear my sister and her boyfriend fucking. Instant boner killer.
I try to find somewhere else, to see if I can even restore my boner, but nope. I COULD HEAR IT IN EVERY. FUCKING. ROOOOM.
Come to think of it, about 80% of my jerking off experiences being ruined were because of those two assholes. Fuck them.[/QUOTE]
Should've jerked it to their sex noises. :pervert:
[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;28865116]Okay, so when we were younger, my brother, sister, and I all had our rooms like right next to each other. This was all good, until my sister got a boyfriend. Yeah, you can probably see where this is going.
I'm jerking it, and then suddenly I can hear my sister and her boyfriend fucking. Instant boner killer.
I try to find somewhere else, to see if I can even restore my boner, but nope. I COULD HEAR IT IN EVERY. FUCKING. ROOOOM.
Come to think of it, about 80% of my jerking off experiences being ruined were because of those two assholes. Fuck them.[/QUOTE]
Join in on the fun
No. My sister and her boyfriend are both ugly dickheads.
and it would be fucking gross
Aw damn, nothing worse then jacking to uglies.
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