Embarrassing Experiences While Masturbating. - General

[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;28865332]No. My sister and her boyfriend are both ugly dickheads. and it would be fucking gross[/QUOTE] whip your dick out and rape the boyfriend.

I remember a while back I shared the same story in another thread (I think it was LMAO pics). It isnt embarrissing, but it's shareable. I was fapping in the bathroom and I climaxed in my hands, quickly washed up, walked out of the bathroom and my mother walked into me. She paused. Took a sniff. And said: "You smell nice" I proceeded to then walk in the other direction and calibrate what the fuck just happened.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;28873649]I remember a while back I shared the same story in another thread (I think it was LMAO pics). It isnt embarrissing, but it's shareable. I was fapping in the bathroom and I climaxed in my hands, quickly washed up, walked out of the bathroom and walked into me. She paused. Took a sniff. And said: "You smell nice" I proceeded to then walk in the other direction and calibrate what the fuck just happened.[/QUOTE] Who walked into you?

Oh shit, forgot to say. My mother did.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;28873649]I remember a while back I shared the same story in another thread (I think it was LMAO pics). It isnt embarrissing, but it's shareable. I was fapping in the bathroom and I climaxed in my hands, quickly washed up, walked out of the bathroom and my mother walked into me. She paused. Took a sniff. And said: "You smell nice" I proceeded to then walk in the other direction and calibrate what the fuck just happened.[/QUOTE] By masturbating you set of pheromones, so she probably smelled those.

[QUOTE=KevinsLunchbox;28852083]One time I was in the shower fapping (I was wearing a condom too, now that I think about it I have no fucking clue why) but I was fapping and suddenly the door swung open (instant boner killer) and my sister says "Do you know where the remote is for the-" and she looked in the mirror and I still had my dick in my hand and she screamed and slammed the door. Disappointed I took off the condom, washed my hair and left but the very second I shut my door to my room I remembered the condom and how I left it in the shower and my other sister found it. My parents sat me down and tried to explain to me the purpose of condoms (I knew what they were for at the time) and how I was "doing it wrong".[/QUOTE] Why did she burst into the bathroom without knocking?

Damn some really horrid stories in here. Wish I could see some.. If you get me. :allears:

I left lotion in my bed room closet, and a week later it was gone. :ohdear:

I've been caught countless times :(

[QUOTE=Codename 47;28733426]This once, it had been a week or so since my last fap. I was watching some extremely hot lesbian porn, like, the best I have ever seen, and it wasn't even really hardcore or anything. Anyway, I felt I was about to climax, reached for my tissue paper, wrapped my dick in it, and blasted away. But somehow i blasted through the 3-4 layers of tissue paper and I barely got a glimpse of the sperm as it flew away. And then I just sat there, nearly paralyzed from the great orgasm. When I returned to reality, I cleaned myself up, and started looking for the rest of the cum. I feared the worst, of course, it could be on my screen, my posters, my keyboard, stuff like that. But it wasn't. I checked the ceiling, my hair, and I had heard all these stories of people getting cum strange places, but I had never tried it myself, so I was pretty frantic. And then I simply had to give up. To this day, I still don't know where the fuck all that cum went. And that is unsettling.[/QUOTE] pm me the link

I feel like I'm in a minority to say that I've never been caught. Say my most embarrassing is underestimating a cum shot after not wanking for a few days. Shit flies man.

I remember the first time I got caught I was in the darkness, playing some hentai flash game where you undress the girl, put a dildo in her, and juggle her tits, and jerking it. Suddenly I hear "Hey Christian whatcha doin" I turn around and my sister is like RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO ME then she walked off going "hahaha my brother's a horn dog"

My mother found my improvised dildo and lube once.

[QUOTE=TehLeetPenguin;28904419]My mother found my improvised dildo and lube once.[/QUOTE] I was with my little brother, in my step-mum's room while he watched cbeebies (Little kids program). His pacifier fell out of him mouth, rolls under bed. I duck down to retrieve it. About to pick it up. Then I see something to the right of it. Oh god. It's a purple dildo.

[QUOTE=myalt22;28905236]I was with my little brother, in my step-mum's room while he watched cbeebies (Little kids program). His pacifier fell out of him mouth, rolls under bed. I duck down to retrieve it. About to pick it up. Then I see something to the right of it. Oh god. It's a purple dildo.[/QUOTE] [B]Use it.[/B]

After I fapped, I noticed that there was a noticeable blackspot on my cock. I panicked and drew it over with a pink sharpie to cover it for penis inspection day.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;28905256]After I fapped, I noticed that there was a noticeable blackspot on my cock. I panicked and drew it over with a pink sharpie to cover it for penis inspection day.[/QUOTE] What day? [editline]31st March 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=Mister Sandman;28905250][B]Use it.[/B][/QUOTE] I was 13.

[QUOTE=myalt22;28905288] I was 13.[/QUOTE] I would have used it at 13.

[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;28905378]I would have used it at 13.[/QUOTE] I tried it one time with a sharpie, (Yes really) Didn't do anything for me.

[QUOTE=myalt22;28905485]I tried it one time with a sharpie, (Yes really) Didn't do anything for me.[/QUOTE] its gotta be thicker and you really gotta get up in there.

[QUOTE=TehLeetPenguin;28905654]its gotta be thicker and you really gotta get up in there.[/QUOTE] I think I'll leave it.

has anyone else gotten friction burns on their dick from really getting in to it?

[QUOTE=myalt22;28905485]I tried it one time with a sharpie, (Yes really) Didn't do anything for me.[/QUOTE] That's because it was a sharpie. Now try it with a jumbo hotdog or something.

[QUOTE=myalt22;28905485]I tried it one time with a sharpie, (Yes really) Didn't do anything for me.[/QUOTE] Ha, that's ridiculous, so did I. I've been hooked on ass play ever since. Recently purchased an Aneros (prostate massager). It's fantastic, highly recommended.

I dont have to worry about this. I live alone.

[QUOTE=kitteh-nator;28874289]By masturbating you set of pheromones, so she probably smelled those.[/QUOTE] So masturbating makes you smell nice to the ladies? I can see uses for this in the near future. :q:

I will sell solidified semen deoderant sticks to men

[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;28906192]I will sell solidified semen deoderant sticks to men[/QUOTE] how much work will be involed to make one, and will you be hiring ?

[QUOTE=bak_to_basix;28905807]has anyone else gotten friction burns on their dick from really getting in to it?[/QUOTE] Me. I was 13 I think. I was fapping like a champ back then.

I was fapping at my dad's place (my parents are divorced), I'm often bored as hell over there since I don't have any friends living around that area. So I came in a tissue because I like to avoid the mess. Apparently some of it must have dripped, because a little while later my dad came in and asked me what that thing on the floor was. I luckily avoided a REALLY awkward situation by saying that "it must have been mucus from when I sneezed earlier" which was believeable enough due to my tendency to get allergic reactions to their pets :v: