Why the fuck do parents ask "Whats that stain?"
They fucking know what it is, they don't need to ask.
[QUOTE=DatWut?;28783730]I once examined a naked girl when I was younger (I think I was 8 or 9) and I was naked too. Curiosity. :v:[/QUOTE]
Same. Except I wasn't naked. We did it a few times and once we did it when my mum was in the house too (behind the door talking with the girls mum) and then he came into the room.. I really don't remember what happened after that.
Friend came over the other day, and felt the need to jack off right in front of my face.
I don't really have a problem with that, but he could at least politely ask if he could have a wank [sp]without me joining in[/sp]
But the worst part was, when he came he shot a huge load all over my new keyboard which was fucking expensive, and now all his cum has jammed up the keys and doesn't work. :smith:
And he just looked at me and said 'DID YOU SEE THAT BRO!'
Facepalm ensues.
um what? ^
not gay at all
[QUOTE=RubberFruit;28933810]
I don't really have a problem with that, but he could at least politely ask if he could have a wank
[/QUOTE]
Wow. I'm a pretty laid back guy, I don't mind people doing their business in the bathroom, but FAPPING IN THE SAME ROOM AS SOMEONE, AND THEM SPLOOGING ON MY KEYBOARD?
There is only so much I can take.
[QUOTE=RubberFruit;28933810]Friend came over the other day, and felt the need to jack off right in front of my face.
I don't really have a problem with that, but he could at least politely ask if he could have a wank [sp]without me joining in[/sp]
But the worst part was, when he came he shot a huge load all over my new keyboard which was fucking expensive, and now all his cum has jammed up the keys and doesn't work. :smith:
And he just looked at me and said 'DID YOU SEE THAT BRO!'
Facepalm ensues.[/QUOTE]
There are several reasons why I can't believe this actually happened.
[QUOTE=RubberFruit;28933810]Friend came over the other day, and felt the need to jack off right in front of my face.
I don't really have a problem with that, but he could at least politely ask if he could have a wank [sp]without me joining in[/sp]
But the worst part was, when he came he shot a huge load all over my new keyboard which was fucking expensive, and now all his cum has jammed up the keys and doesn't work. :smith:
And he just looked at me and said 'DID YOU SEE THAT BRO!'
Facepalm ensues.[/QUOTE]
I would trash my keyboard and make my friend buy me a new one if he did that.
I would never be able to use a keyboard someone other then myself has jizzed on.
[QUOTE=RubberFruit;28933810]Friend came over the other day, and felt the need to jack off right in front of my face.
I don't really have a problem with that, but he could at least politely ask if he could have a wank [sp]without me joining in[/sp]
But the worst part was, when he came he shot a huge load all over my new keyboard which was fucking expensive, and now all his cum has jammed up the keys and doesn't work. :smith:
And he just looked at me and said 'DID YOU SEE THAT BRO!'
Facepalm ensues.[/QUOTE]
[IMG]http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab111/KevinsLunchbox/MyFaceWhen.jpg[/IMG]
I came on the keyboard once, had to clean it up.
I guess you could say...
I had STICKY KEYS.
Sorry, had to say that.
There was one time when we moved around three years ago that I was wanking to on demand censored porn samples on the cable box. I heard the front door starting to unlock. I panicked, pressed the power button and darted to my moms bathroom saying that I had to poop and her bathroom had brighter lights.
After I walked out, I said the cat sat on the remote, but a stroke of luck flew over and the TV was on channel 13 instead of 913. Apparently if you turn off that box it defaults to channel 13 which is a news station owned by the cable company.
So me and this one guy were fapping in the same room and when I was about to finish he jumped up and shoved his dick in my mouth and my mom walked in, man it was so embarrassing.
Oh, I'm not gay btw
[QUOTE=Eeshton;28943721]So me and this one guy were fapping in the same room and when I was about to finish he jumped up and shoved his dick in my mouth and my mom walked in, man it was so embarrassing.
Oh, I'm not gay btw[/QUOTE]
You enjoyed it.
I've been caught watching porn, by my 18 year old brother a few years back. he didn't mind, he thought it was funny. then my dad yelled at me because a week after that, the hard drive was destroyed by viruses. I got a new comp, but he said if he caught me again, he would smash my $1500 computer. kinda contradictory, right?
I almost kinda got caught yesterday
but like my Dad had the courtesy to knock so, I was covered.
Manners matter.
[QUOTE=Eeshton;28943721]So me and this one guy were fapping in the same room and when I was about to finish he jumped up and shoved his dick in my mouth and my mom walked in, man it was so embarrassing.
Oh, I'm not gay btw[/QUOTE]
I guess you friend...
*sunglasses*
Got optimistic.
YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!
Horrible joke. Sorry.
To quickly close the porn and stuff, you gotta use the private browsing in Firefox.
You can try it now. press Ctrl+Shift+P
Now you can watch all the porn you want, and when you press it again, it closes all the stuff you had there and goes to where you were previoisly. Its useful.
What's this about Patcher?
[editline]2nd April 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Str4fe;28945919]To quickly close the porn and stuff, you gotta use the private browsing in Firefox.
You can try it now. press Ctrl+Shift+P
Now you can watch all the porn you want, and when you press it again, it closes all the stuff you had there and goes to where you were previoisly. Its useful.[/QUOTE]
I think people use it more for the no cookies/history :v:
Why do I enjoy reading this thread so much? :v:
Keyboard still broken, using a shitty backup one now. :smith:
He could've jizzed on anything, but the keyboard?!
[QUOTE=DatWut?;28947164]Why do I enjoy reading this thread so much? :v:[/QUOTE]
you, like many others, take pleasure in misfortune
Christ. Only the once.
Going happily about my buisness while watching a choice video off my PSP on my bed, heard mother comnig up stairs. Naturally I fumbled and just managed to get my jeans back on. She asked what I was doing and I said playing my PSP. She looked at it, went "All right" and left.
I look down at my PSP and see the video still playing. Massive fucking facepalm and I swear that handheld morphed a trollface. No-one comes into my room without knocking anymore...
I didn't get caught, at least nobody said shit, but sometimes I have about 10 tabs open with porn, and somebody walks in, and I'm always just switching to text or a youtube vid.
Don't think they care enough to read the tab names though.
[editline]2nd April 2011[/editline]
Oh yea I just remembered one time, my grandma came in, and I was just having my firefox download window open, it's pack full because I download so much stuff, and she goes "what's that?", and starts reading "Orgy in th..." and I'm like "Nothing" and click it away, was obviously porn, but well, she didn't say anything and just left.
[QUOTE=Numidium;28955974]I didn't get caught, at least nobody said shit, but sometimes I have about 10 tabs open with porn, and somebody walks in, and I'm always just switching to text or a youtube vid.
Don't think they care enough to read the tab names though.
[editline]2nd April 2011[/editline]
Oh yea I just remembered one time, my grandma came in, and I was just having my firefox download window open, it's pack full because I download so much stuff, and she goes "what's that?", and starts reading "Orgy in th..." and I'm like "Nothing" and click it away, was obviously porn, but well, she didn't say anything and just left.[/QUOTE]
See that button at the bottom that says Clear List? It's very useful!
one time i was masterbating and was getting there to that one "momment" and then the guy that was fucking the girl turned and said my name like "hey 'myname', you like that baby.."
oh and another time my sister walked in and said "WAT THE FUK AR YU DOIN, YOU BEST BE THINKING OF ME!!!11!!!!!!1111!!!!1
I was watching porn on my laptop in bed, and my friend walks up to me and says "What are you looking at?" so I close it as fast as fucking possible and he doesn't leave so I say "What.". About a second later he's still standing there and I say "WHAT?!!"
Go on /b/, see link to a horrible fanfic ( [url]http://fanfic.vjad.net/stories/viewstory.php?sid=648&chapter=1[/url] )
Open up redtube window and start fapping to hot Asian anal.
Read in fanfic a scene that implies that the character has just finished masturbating
Freak out, stop masturbating, and start closing every single windows window out of sheer shock from reading line suggesting masturbation and put on tinfoil hat.
Yeah, that just happened to me.
[QUOTE=Str4fe;28945919]To quickly close the porn and stuff, you gotta use the private browsing in Firefox.
You can try it now. press Ctrl+Shift+P
Now you can watch all the porn you want, and when you press it again, it closes all the stuff you had there and goes to where you were previoisly. Its useful.[/QUOTE]
I prefer to set up Firefox so it deletes all history upon closing the browser.
This way when someone types an address into the address bar, a list of my bookmarks appear rather than an empty list which obviously means I cleared it.
Just remembered this, this one time, a friend of mine was visiting me. When we were about to go out. I said thta I have to go to the bathroom(I got a little desperate. I didn't have a wank for a week.). I was bashing the candle and my friend knocks on the door and says: "I really do hope you're not jerking off."
Well darn.
I declare myself as thee, page king of fap topic!
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