Embarrassing Experiences While Masturbating. - General

I was having some jerk and it was great, the best jerk ive ever had. but while going about my jerk my parents walked in, they saw me and asked if they could have a jerk to, so i said yes. We then had a jerk all night. It was the best beef jerky i ever tasted.

[QUOTE=Fancy Godgineer;28964921]Just remembered this, this one time, a friend of mine was visiting me. When we were about to go out. I said thta I have to go to the bathroom(I got a little desperate. I didn't have a wank for a week.). I was bashing the candle and my friend knocks on the door and says: "I really do hope you're not jerking off." Well darn. I declare myself as thee, page king of fap topic![/QUOTE] I lol'd. Can't imagine your face when.

[QUOTE=Novangel;28946087]What's this about Patcher? [editline]2nd April 2011[/editline] I think people use it more for the no cookies/history :v:[/QUOTE] The cache is where the pron is stored on the computer delete that too.

[QUOTE=Bletotum;28954305]you, like many others, take pleasure in misfortune[/QUOTE] Not because of that. I just like reading about other people's masturbation experiences... Gaybows incomin'.

I spent the night over at my friend's house, we stayed up late playing on the PS2 taking turns on GTA3 before eventually we got tired and crashed on the floor. I woke up early in the morning, about 2-3 AM so it was still dark and stumbled around his house in an attempt to find the bathroom because I had to piss pretty bad. After I found it I quickly opened the door and flicked on the lights to see my friend on the toilet, jerking off and sticking a carrot in his ass. He froze and we stared at each other for a couple of seconds before I could force myself to say "Dude". He started getting really embarrassed and trying to apologize before I finally told him "You know your ass is bleeding, right?" Then he pulled the carrot out of his ass, noticing it was coated in blood. He started to panic and hold tissue paper to his ass, sliding off the toilet and sitting on the floor, now noticing the blood all over the toilet seat that he smeared everywhere. I spent about an hour in the bathroom with him still naked, comforting him and calming him down until he finally stopped bleeding. I got to clean up his ass-blood, fyi since he was too busy panicing about the blood still coming out of his ass and I didn't want his parents finding out. We snuck out the bloody evidence to the backyard and threw it in a dumpster in an alley way, using me as a pointman incase we ran into one of his parents wondering what the fuck we were doing at 4-5 AM making so much noise.

[QUOTE=XanKriegor;28973427]My friend shoved a carrot up his ass and it had ass blood and shit all over it etc.. etc..[/QUOTE] Should've eat the carrot

I remember this one time, I was away with my class on a trip to Copenhagen and we were staying at an inn with bunkbeds. So, one night when everyone was sleeping, I was really horny and tried silently to jerk off to an event that happend earlier that day at the beach. While I really tried to keep the noise down (I was in a sleeping bag which were a bit crusty from last time..), it was really hard because of the bad quality of the squeeking bunkbeds, and in the dark someone (couldn't tell who) yells "DUDE, I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP, I'M SO FUCKING TIRED". I, being awesome and all, just pretended that I was asleep (I never finished). So the next morning, a friend of mine came to me, put his hand on my shoulder and said "Dude, I was trying to get some sleep, I was so fucking tired" - I blushed.

[QUOTE=XanKriegor;28973427]I spent the night over at my friend's house, we stayed up late playing on the PS2 taking turns on GTA3 before eventually we got tired and crashed on the floor. I woke up early in the morning, about 2-3 AM so it was still dark and stumbled around his house in an attempt to find the bathroom because I had to piss pretty bad. After I found it I quickly opened the door and flicked on the lights to see my friend on the toilet, jerking off and sticking a carrot in his ass. He froze and we stared at each other for a couple of seconds before I could force myself to say "Dude". He started getting really embarrassed and trying to apologize before I finally told him "You know your ass is bleeding, right?" Then he pulled the carrot out of his ass, noticing it was coated in blood. He started to panic and hold tissue paper to his ass, sliding off the toilet and sitting on the floor, now noticing the blood all over the toilet seat that he smeared everywhere. I spent about an hour in the bathroom with him still naked, comforting him and calming him down until he finally stopped bleeding. I got to clean up his ass-blood, fyi since he was too busy panicing about the blood still coming out of his ass and I didn't want his parents finding out. We snuck out the bloody evidence to the backyard and threw it in a dumpster in an alley way, using me as a pointman incase we ran into one of his parents wondering what the fuck we were doing at 4-5 AM making so much noise.[/QUOTE] [IMG]http://i54.tinypic.com/21d3pmt.gif[/IMG]

I was lying on the bed with my laptop, fapping to a badly self-made shop of Katy Perry when all of a sudden my asshole step-dad walks in. He asks me what the fuck I'm doing so I say "'Haven't you ever masturbated?!" and he's like "No, masturbation is an abomination" :colbert:

[QUOTE=Coned;28974093]I remember this one time, I was away with my class on a trip to Copenhagen and we were staying at an inn with bunkbeds. So, one night when everyone was sleeping, I was really horny and tried silently to jerk off to an event that happend earlier that day at the beach. While I really tried to keep the noise down (I was in a sleeping bag which were a bit crusty from last time..), it was really hard because of the bad quality of the squeeking bunkbeds, and in the dark someone (couldn't tell who) yells "DUDE, I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP, I'M SO FUCKING TIRED". I, being awesome and all, just pretended that I was asleep (I never finished). So the next morning, a friend of mine came to me, put his hand on my shoulder and said "Dude, I was trying to get some sleep, I was so fucking tired" - I blushed.[/QUOTE] most fucked up one yet

Went on some school trip, was on the bottom of the bunk bed, the guy above me told me he was going to masturbate. I had to put headphones in so that I couldn't hear anything. Not a good night.

In retrospect, I think I did get caught one time. I was spending the night at a friend's house and we were up really late (by the standards we had at that age). I got into my sleeping bag and he fell asleep on the couch. I got bored because I wasn't tired enough so I jerked it and then fell asleep. When I woke up, the first thing he tells me is "Go wash your hands," so I'm guessing he knows. :v:

My friends gave me a fleshlight as a birthday gift. I had it for 3 months hidden and used once in a while. And then suddenly it was gone. I think my mom or dad stole it and threw it out

I felt embarrassed slightly after this experience, well still do: I was just doing my late night wank and my Granfather opened my door whilst I was sitting there getting at it with porn on the screen. I just turned to him and said "YOU DID THIS TOO" and leant into the screen more as I growled. When I turned back around he was gone. I dont know what the fuck made me do that but I fear he thinks I'm crazy now

[QUOTE=PX1K;28984169]I felt embarrassed slightly after this experience, well still do: I was just doing my late night wank and my Granfather opened my door whilst I was sitting there getting at it with porn on the screen. I just turned to him and said "YOU DID THIS TOO" and leant into the screen more as I growled. When I turned back around he was gone. I dont know what the fuck made me do that but I fear he thinks I'm crazy now[/QUOTE] Or just a raging pervert

[QUOTE=PX1K;28984169]I just turned to him and said "YOU DID THIS TOO" and leant into the screen more as I growled. [/QUOTE] [img]http://1.2.3.10/bmi/bg0lden.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/scary-bilbo.jpg[/img] [editline]4th April 2011[/editline] and I don't think your grandfather had internet in those days.

[QUOTE=myalt22;28985990][img_thumb]http://1.2.3.10/bmi/bg0lden.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/scary-bilbo.jpg[/img_thumb] [editline]4th April 2011[/editline] and I don't think your grandfather had internet in those days.[/QUOTE] Probably didn't growl either.

Never been caught but one time while I was on a group vacation to California I was sharing a bed with my friend, and he decided he would masturbate while I was laying there with him. So I'm just sitting there with the bed shaking a little thinking "What.. the.. fuck."

[QUOTE=XanKriegor;28973427]I spent the night over at my friend's house, we stayed up late playing on the PS2 taking turns on GTA3 before eventually we got tired and crashed on the floor. I woke up early in the morning, about 2-3 AM so it was still dark and stumbled around his house in an attempt to find the bathroom because I had to piss pretty bad. After I found it I quickly opened the door and flicked on the lights to see my friend on the toilet, jerking off and sticking a carrot in his ass. He froze and we stared at each other for a couple of seconds before I could force myself to say "Dude". He started getting really embarrassed and trying to apologize before I finally told him "You know your ass is bleeding, right?" Then he pulled the carrot out of his ass, noticing it was coated in blood. He started to panic and hold tissue paper to his ass, sliding off the toilet and sitting on the floor, now noticing the blood all over the toilet seat that he smeared everywhere. I spent about an hour in the bathroom with him still naked, comforting him and calming him down until he finally stopped bleeding. I got to clean up his ass-blood, fyi since he was too busy panicing about the blood still coming out of his ass and I didn't want his parents finding out. We snuck out the bloody evidence to the backyard and threw it in a dumpster in an alley way, using me as a pointman incase we ran into one of his parents wondering what the fuck we were doing at 4-5 AM making so much noise.[/QUOTE] [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2xDJPc-yaM&p=1AF316B41BBE5DB5[/media]

For quite a while, I hadn't had a place to finish, so when I wanked at night I had to do it on my carpet, in the dark corner that has a desk and stuff over top of it. One day, my mom was cleaning the carpets and when I got home from school, she marches me in there and says "What the fuck is that?". I put on my poker face and say "Hmm.. must have been a drink or something". But no, this cum spot was fucking huge. Probably covering the whole 1m corner area. She says "Fuck no, what is it." Poker face fading... "I... don't know..." afterwards she shrugs it off and I have to clean it, and to this day I have always done it into a toilet. Oh, and it was orange after a while, fucking gross.

[QUOTE=XanKriegor;28973427]I spent the night over at my friend's house, we stayed up late playing on the PS2 taking turns on GTA3 before eventually we got tired and crashed on the floor. I woke up early in the morning, about 2-3 AM so it was still dark and stumbled around his house in an attempt to find the bathroom because I had to piss pretty bad. After I found it I quickly opened the door and flicked on the lights to see my friend on the toilet, jerking off and sticking a carrot in his ass. He froze and we stared at each other for a couple of seconds before I could force myself to say "Dude". He started getting really embarrassed and trying to apologize before I finally told him "You know your ass is bleeding, right?" Then he pulled the carrot out of his ass, noticing it was coated in blood. He started to panic and hold tissue paper to his ass, sliding off the toilet and sitting on the floor, now noticing the blood all over the toilet seat that he smeared everywhere. I spent about an hour in the bathroom with him still naked, comforting him and calming him down until he finally stopped bleeding. I got to clean up his ass-blood, fyi since he was too busy panicing about the blood still coming out of his ass and I didn't want his parents finding out. We snuck out the bloody evidence to the backyard and threw it in a dumpster in an alley way, using me as a pointman incase we ran into one of his parents wondering what the fuck we were doing at 4-5 AM making so much noise.[/QUOTE] A true fucking bro, can't say I would've taken the same route with that one..but..damn..

What's up with you guys and jerking it on vacation or at a friends house?

This thread is hilarious I read it all the time. but, to this day I've never been caught... so I think

SO... About this Patcher Character? Where can I see the full scoop?

[QUOTE=Kel|oggs;28991766]SO... About this Patcher Character? Where can I see the full scoop?[/QUOTE] [url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1042931-The-Chronicles-of-Patcher[/url] He came on his sister and they started having sex.

[QUOTE=XanKriegor;28973427]I spent the night over at my friend's house, we stayed up late playing on the PS2 taking turns on GTA3 before eventually we got tired and crashed on the floor. I woke up early in the morning, about 2-3 AM so it was still dark and stumbled around his house in an attempt to find the bathroom because I had to piss pretty bad. After I found it I quickly opened the door and flicked on the lights to see my friend on the toilet, jerking off and sticking a carrot in his ass. He froze and we stared at each other for a couple of seconds before I could force myself to say "Dude". He started getting really embarrassed and trying to apologize before I finally told him "You know your ass is bleeding, right?" Then he pulled the carrot out of his ass, noticing it was coated in blood. He started to panic and hold tissue paper to his ass, sliding off the toilet and sitting on the floor, now noticing the blood all over the toilet seat that he smeared everywhere. I spent about an hour in the bathroom with him still naked, comforting him and calming him down until he finally stopped bleeding. I got to clean up his ass-blood, fyi since he was too busy panicing about the blood still coming out of his ass and I didn't want his parents finding out. We snuck out the bloody evidence to the backyard and threw it in a dumpster in an alley way, using me as a pointman incase we ran into one of his parents wondering what the fuck we were doing at 4-5 AM making so much noise.[/QUOTE] [url=http://uppix.net/1/a/2/1ce5c33b2d2b16c4d1d1e93969bd1.html][img]http://uppix.net/1/a/2/1ce5c33b2d2b16c4d1d1e93969bd1.png[/img][/url]

About 3 months ago. Friends house, sleepover. We were playing Halo 1 because we're cool. He grabs my iPod without me known and says, "Gotta shit." and leaves. I think nothing of it because I'm gaming, and I do not pay attention while gaming. Anyways, only me and Justin were home. I hear the bathroom door slam. But, apparently not for the first time. He was coming out of the bathroom, not going into. (I must of not heard the door close the first time.) Here's where it gets weird. He runs, full speed, iPod blasting porn, he's buck-naked, sticks his damn cock into my ear and proceeds to jizz in my ear. I can't hear shit, he's laughing his ass off, and I'm just in total shock of how gay he is. Not because he came in my ear, because he decided to do it. By the way, the porn was shemale or some sick shit. I haven't talked to him since.

[QUOTE=Kel|oggs;28991766]SO... About this Patcher Character? Where can I see the full scoop?[/QUOTE] Oh look, it's [B]this[/B] post again. Fucking Jesus we have search for a reason.

Too bad the thread's snipped.

[QUOTE=rovar;28992191]...my iPod... [/quote] [QUOTE=rovar;28992191]...iPod blasting porn...[/quote] [QUOTE=rovar;28992191]By the way, the porn was shemale or some sick shit. [/QUOTE]