[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;29064054]How do you know?[/QUOTE]
I'm assuming he didn't. It's a possibility that he may have heard the sound but found it insignificant to comment on, since it could have been anything else. Besides, I don't fap extremely vigorously to the point that it makes a clapping sound. It might be caused by the fact that since I'm uncircumcised, my foreskin prevents my hand from touching my groin.
I did that while in a video conversation with one of my friends when her cousin decided to join in the conversation (got her number shortly after). They were looking right at me and were none the wiser, I was like a statue as far as they could tell. :v:
It may have been like two years ago, but I have no shame apparently.
I was having 'cozy' time with a gurl :3: and when we've got going my friends barge in and they're like "COME OUT YOU HAVE TO CHECK THIS SHIT OUT". Which I stupidly follow them to do, acouple of minutes later I noticed people were staring at my pants to which I reacted to by looking down and 'feeling' after what was wrong. I thought that I had just unzipped or something but oh no, I had jizzed in my pants and it had got trough the pants to the outside. They were pretty much laughing at me and saying "Know we know what you did back there." Which I tried to reply by being a being like a boss, but it just made me look silly with all the cum on my pants, oh the shame..
It went 2 meters away and i was like wtf.
This thread is fucking great.
[QUOTE=/B/rother;29074752]This thread is fucking great.[/QUOTE]
Great.........YOU MEAN AWESOME
[QUOTE=Smokeeater;29081554]Great.........YOU MEAN AWESOME[/QUOTE]
No, he meant great
It really doesn't matter, I just want to read about more masturbation.
I once was jerking off then one of my dogs came in my room just as I blew my load and it went all over her face then my other dog, her sister, came in and licked it off her face. *poker face*
That's beastiality incest sicko
[QUOTE=Novangel;29086840]That's beastiality incest sicko[/QUOTE]
it isn't exactly incest as he isn't related to one of the dogs..
I was masturbating and when I came, my cum hit the fan.
[QUOTE=CaptainCunt;29090422]I was masturbating and when I came, my cum hit the fan.[/QUOTE]
Did it rain
[QUOTE=hanswithcheese;29088116]it isn't exactly incest as he isn't related to one of the dogs..[/QUOTE]
The incest part being the two dogs.
how is licking another species cum off your sibling incest?
and here come the dumb ratings
[QUOTE=hanswithcheese;29104773]how is licking another species cum off your sibling incest?
and here come the dumb ratings[/QUOTE]
It's pretty close, if not is already.
Not exactly embarassing because nobody saw but I hadn't fapped for like 2 weeks and I got a massive session going, like straight fapping for 3 hours straight (not even joking) I just kept holding off before climax, and then whilst reading the hot girls thread someone had linked that video of the best orgasm ever (that video is great by the way). It was time.
Best jizz ever, literally 4 feet into the air (I was lying on my back at this stage) and I just laid there for like 10 minutes covered in jizz recovering from the strain.
I then took a 15 minute shower to clean off.
So it literally flew 4 feet
Was there like a meter stick next to you or something
also, Captain Cunt
IT'SA RAINING MEN
HALLELUJAH
[QUOTE=Swemon;29065243]I was having 'cozy' time with a gurl :3: and when we've got going my friends barge in and they're like "COME OUT YOU HAVE TO CHECK THIS SHIT OUT". Which I stupidly follow them to do, acouple of minutes later I noticed people were staring at my pants to which I reacted to by looking down and 'feeling' after what was wrong. I thought that I had just unzipped or something but oh no, I had jizzed in my pants and it had got trough the pants to the outside. They were pretty much laughing at me and saying "Know we know what you did back there." Which I tried to reply by being a being like a boss, but it just made me look silly with all the cum on my pants, oh the shame..[/QUOTE]
[img_thumb]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/20516268/Pictures/Neat%20spidey.jpeg[/img_thumb]
[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;29105753]So it literally flew 4 feet
Was there like a meter stick next to you or something
also, Captain Cunt
IT'SA RAINING MEN
HALLELUJAH[/QUOTE]
It nearly hit the ceiling fan bro.
shit was crazzzzzy
[QUOTE=Empty_Shadow;29106251]It nearly hit the ceiling fan bro.
shit was crazzzzzy[/QUOTE]
[IMG]http://www.talismancoins.com/catalog/Lucas_Oil_Gusher_Spindletop_Texas.jpg[/IMG]
[QUOTE=Empty_Shadow;29104941]someone had linked that video of the best orgasm ever (that video is great by the way).[/QUOTE]
Link? :v:
I was browsing some porn and it had one of those scary screamers.
I jizzed blood and party of my dick turned brown.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;29110403]I was browsing some porn and it had one of those scary screamers.
I jizzed blood and [B]party of my dick turned brown[/B].[/QUOTE]
I bet that were pretty shitty party.
[img]http://asset.soup.io/asset/0332/7940_2521.png[/img]
sort of like this
fappin, cat walks over.
cat claws right on dick.
ultra boner killer right there. Couldn't fap for a week.
Okay, this shit was, in my opinion, the worst, most stretched out fapping experience I've ever had.
I jerked off like usual, but for some reason, the next day some weird scab shit appeared on my dick, scared the shit out of me because if anything alarms me, it is when my dick has problems. It was right under the tip. I waited a few days to see if it would go away, and sadly, it did not. Now, fearing I had dick herpes or some shit, I decided I must do the shittiest thing ever. I had to tell my parents I had dick problems.
My Mom took me to the doctor's office the next day. I have to tell you, sitting in a car with someone interrogating you about your specifics of any and all strange dick scabs on your body just isn't right at all.
We got there and while I sat hoping that at the very least I'd get a girl doctor to touch my corndog, I did not get such fortune. Nay, I was greeted by my doctor, a crusty ass old fuck who got a wild hair up his ass one day and decided he wanted to specialize in dick troubles I guess. So, I was basically giving my dick to what could be a pedophile so he could massage it and tell me specifically what is wrong with my dick. I was asked if I wanted my Mom to stay in the room, and obviously, my answer was something along the lines of "No." in my head however, I was yelling "NO I DO NOT WANT MY MOTHER IN THE ROOM WATCHING ME GET MY FIRST HANDJOB FROM SOME PEDO THANK YOU VERY MUCH"
So she leaves, and I get on the table. THE MOMENT OF TRUTH. He pulls my pants down and starts touching my dick. I get absolutely 0% pleasure from this. I end up having to direct him to the scab shit after 1 minute or so of uncomfortable dick massaging. He checks it out and deduces that something cut my dick. My brain is resounding the words "OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK" as well as my dick.
Luckily however, my dick is not ruined.
I get my pants back on. He asks some questions about how I got it, and there is no way in fucking hell I'm telling him I cut myself with the sheer power of my jerking off.
I make some shit up about my zipper catching it or whatever, he tells my mom what I gotta do to fix my dick, and we leave. For another week I could not fap because it hurt. And that gentlemen, was the worst fapping experience I ever had.
[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;29120413]Okay, this shit was, in my opinion, the worst, most stretched out fapping experience I've ever had.
I jerked off like usual, but for some reason, the next day some weird scab shit appeared on my dick, scared the shit out of me because if anything alarms me, it is when my dick has problems. It was right under the tip. I waited a few days to see if it would go away, and sadly, it did not. Now, fearing I had dick herpes or some shit, I decided I must do the shittiest thing ever. I had to tell my parents I had dick problems.
My Mom took me to the doctor's office the next day. I have to tell you, sitting in a car with someone interrogating you about your specifics of any and all strange dick scabs on your body just isn't right at all.
We got there and while I sat hoping that at the very least I'd get a girl doctor to touch my corndog, I did not get such fortune. Nay, I was greeted by my doctor, a crusty ass old fuck who got a wild hair up his ass one day and decided he wanted to specialize in dick troubles I guess. So, I was basically giving my dick to what could be a pedophile so he could massage it and tell me specifically what is wrong with my dick. I was asked if I wanted my Mom to stay in the room, and obviously, my answer was something along the lines of "No." in my head however, I was yelling "NO I DO NOT WANT MY MOTHER IN THE ROOM WATCHING ME GET MY FIRST HANDJOB FROM SOME PEDO THANK YOU VERY MUCH"
So she leaves, and I get on the table. THE MOMENT OF TRUTH. He pulls my pants down and starts touching my dick. I get absolutely 0% pleasure from this. I end up having to direct him to the scab shit after 1 minute or so of uncomfortable dick massaging. He checks it out and seduces something cut my dick. My brain is resounding the words "OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK" as well as my dick.
Luckily however, my dick is not ruined.
I get my pants back on. He asks some questions about how I got it, and there is no way in fucking hell I'm telling him I cut myself with the sheer power of my jerking off.
I make some shit up about my zipper catching it or whatever, he tells my mom what I gotta do to fix my dick, and we leave. For another week I could not fap because it hurt. And that gentlemen, was the worst [b]rapping experience[/b] I ever had.[/QUOTE]
I wish I could rap while fapping.
"Jerking mah dick, jerkin mah dick, thinking bout da teacher cause I'm jerkin mah dick"
[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;29120413]Okay, this shit was, in my opinion, the worst, most stretched out fapping experience I've ever had.
I jerked off like usual, but for some reason, the next day some weird scab shit appeared on my dick, scared the shit out of me because if anything alarms me, it is when my dick has problems. It was right under the tip. I waited a few days to see if it would go away, and sadly, it did not. Now, fearing I had dick herpes or some shit, I decided I must do the shittiest thing ever. I had to tell my parents I had dick problems.
My Mom took me to the doctor's office the next day. I have to tell you, sitting in a car with someone interrogating you about your specifics of any and all strange dick scabs on your body just isn't right at all.
We got there and while I sat hoping that at the very least I'd get a girl doctor to touch my corndog, I did not get such fortune. Nay, I was greeted by my doctor, a crusty ass old fuck who got a wild hair up his ass one day and decided he wanted to specialize in dick troubles I guess. So, I was basically giving my dick to what could be a pedophile so he could massage it and tell me specifically what is wrong with my dick. I was asked if I wanted my Mom to stay in the room, and obviously, my answer was something along the lines of "No." in my head however, I was yelling "NO I DO NOT WANT MY MOTHER IN THE ROOM WATCHING ME GET MY FIRST HANDJOB FROM SOME PEDO THANK YOU VERY MUCH"
So she leaves, and I get on the table. THE MOMENT OF TRUTH. He pulls my pants down and starts touching my dick. I get absolutely 0% pleasure from this. I end up having to direct him to the scab shit after 1 minute or so of uncomfortable dick massaging. He checks it out and seduces something cut my dick. My brain is resounding the words "OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK" as well as my dick.
Luckily however, my dick is not ruined.
I get my pants back on. He asks some questions about how I got it, and there is no way in fucking hell I'm telling him I cut myself with the sheer power of my jerking off.
I make some shit up about my zipper catching it or whatever, he tells my mom what I gotta do to fix my dick, and we leave. For another week I could not fap because it hurt. And that gentlemen, was the worst rapping experience I ever had.[/QUOTE]
[img]http://204.45.110.156/bin/1237977238_pineapple-express-laughing.gif[/img]
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
