[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;29109952]It's deleted[/QUOTE]
If you're talking about the vid I think you're talking about:
[url]http://rapidshare.com/files/457074937/xvideos.com_7c0bcfecf29846dac6aebbeb57116b53_.mp4[/url]
I maybe wrong about it though, didn't read the whole HG Thread.
[QUOTE=Numidium;29126146]If you're talking about the vid I think you're talking about:
[url]http://rapidshare.com/files/457074937/xvideos.com_7c0bcfecf29846dac6aebbeb57116b53_.mp4[/url]
I maybe wrong about it though, didn't read the whole HG Thread.[/QUOTE]
I think that's it. I actually hoped it would be some good porn. Instead, you just see the girl's face while she climaxes. :v:
[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;29120413]Okay, this shit was, in my opinion, the worst, most stretched out fapping experience I've ever had.
I jerked off like usual, but for some reason, the next day some weird scab shit appeared on my dick, scared the shit out of me because if anything alarms me, it is when my dick has problems. It was right under the tip. I waited a few days to see if it would go away, and sadly, it did not. Now, fearing I had dick herpes or some shit, I decided I must do the shittiest thing ever. I had to tell my parents I had dick problems.
My Mom took me to the doctor's office the next day. I have to tell you, sitting in a car with someone interrogating you about your specifics of any and all strange dick scabs on your body just isn't right at all.
We got there and while I sat hoping that at the very least I'd get a girl doctor to touch my corndog, I did not get such fortune. Nay, I was greeted by my doctor, a crusty ass old fuck who got a wild hair up his ass one day and decided he wanted to specialize in dick troubles I guess. So, I was basically giving my dick to what could be a pedophile so he could massage it and tell me specifically what is wrong with my dick. I was asked if I wanted my Mom to stay in the room, and obviously, my answer was something along the lines of "No." in my head however, I was yelling "NO I DO NOT WANT MY MOTHER IN THE ROOM WATCHING ME GET MY FIRST HANDJOB FROM SOME PEDO THANK YOU VERY MUCH"
So she leaves, and I get on the table. THE MOMENT OF TRUTH. He pulls my pants down and starts touching my dick. I get absolutely 0% pleasure from this. I end up having to direct him to the scab shit after 1 minute or so of uncomfortable dick massaging. He checks it out and deduces that something cut my dick. My brain is resounding the words "OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK" as well as my dick.
Luckily however, my dick is not ruined.
I get my pants back on. He asks some questions about how I got it, and there is no way in fucking hell I'm telling him I cut myself with the sheer power of my jerking off.
I make some shit up about my zipper catching it or whatever, he tells my mom what I gotta do to fix my dick, and we leave. For another week I could not fap because it hurt. And that gentlemen, was the worst fapping experience I ever had.[/QUOTE]
It's funny because as far as i know, the doctor isn't supposed to touch your dick, only to look at it.
so yeah you probably got molested right there.
if the doctor looks how can he see if there is any lumps or whatnot?
Two words, Window cleaner.
[QUOTE=Fallout!;29148661]Two words, Window cleaner.[/QUOTE]
Oh, you also had one of those days where you were fapping in an office building and a window cleaner saw you and he fell off because he was disgusted and fell 23 floors to his death?
Yeah, I had one of those days...
i wa sonce eating this doughnut
the jam spurted onto the kitchen towel i was holding it with
i finished
i began fapping
i finished
look around for paper to whipe
can only find jammy paper
whipe it off but get jam on dick
dog runs in
feels bad man
[QUOTE=vladnag;29149072]i wa sonce eating this doughnut
the jam spurted onto the kitchen towel i was holding it with
i finished
i began fapping
i finished
look around for paper to whipe
can only find jammy paper
whipe it off but get jam on dick
dog runs in
feels bad man[/QUOTE]
You know you enjoyed it.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;29149003]Oh, you also had one of those days where you were fapping in an office building and a window cleaner saw you and he fell off because he was disgusted and fell 23 floors to his death?
Yeah, I had one of those days...[/QUOTE]
Lol. Actually no, my house only has 2 floors. And he was on the roof. I just invited him in for a cold beer afterward, and watched him deal with the awkwardness.
It would have been cool if he died though...
[QUOTE=Fallout!;29149209]Lol. Actually no, my house only has 2 floors. And he was on the roof. I just invited him in for a cold beer afterward, and watched him deal with the awkwardness.
It would have been cool if he died though...[/QUOTE]
How was he? What did he say?
[QUOTE=hanswithcheese;29147756]if the doctor looks how can he see if there is any lumps or whatnot?[/QUOTE]
He asks the patient to show where he problem is, touching is not necessary.
[QUOTE=FuzzyPoop;29150532]He asks the patient to show where he problem is, touching is not necessary.[/QUOTE]
A lot of people have no idea about how their body works and what could be going wrong with it, that's why you have a professional (ie someone who took years of medical school and got certified) to do it for you. Sure, a self-examination might help, but you will not get a professional diagnosis unless you are a doctor yourself; even then, a second opinion is likely to be warranted if I'm not mistaken.
[QUOTE=FuzzyPoop;29150532]He asks the patient to show where he problem is, touching is not necessary.[/QUOTE]
Doctor: Where does the pain come from?
Patient: Somewhere over here.
Doctor: Let me take a look at it.
Patient: NO! That's molestation! *runs off*
Patiend dies of unattended HIV shortly after.
Right... Have a good life, sir.
[QUOTE=Empty_Shadow;29104941]Not exactly embarassing because nobody saw but I hadn't fapped for like 2 weeks and I got a massive session going, like straight fapping for 3 hours straight (not even joking) I just kept holding off before climax, and then whilst reading the hot girls thread someone had linked that video of the best orgasm ever (that video is great by the way). It was time.
Best jizz ever, literally 4 feet into the air (I was lying on my back at this stage) and I just laid there for like 10 minutes covered in jizz recovering from the strain.
I then took a 15 minute shower to clean off.[/QUOTE]
Got a link to that video?
I don't feel like sifting through that whole thread.
[QUOTE=myalt22;29034594]I find it 100% impossible to fap in the shower.[/QUOTE]
I tried to do that once. When i came i didn't feel anything and my dick was hot and red after the shower.
I'm not gonna do that again.
I found out if you have the flu, your semen is more.... liquidy.
Which means it can travel higher than regular semen.
Which means you have to clean that shit off the ceiling.
Which means your mother might catch you cleaning the ceiling.
Which means she'll ask some questions.
I've almost been caught multiple times. I shared a room with my 2 older bros back then. So I was fapping away naked and I just came, then my brother walks in, so I quickly grab a towel and say GET OUT IM GETTING DRESSED! Then he starts talking about his favorite game (Evony), then I'm like, if you don't get out then ima moon you. So he left.
Another time, I just started fapping in the bathroom, enjoying myself really well, then my brother comes down to have a shower, so im like SHIIT! Quickly pulled my pants up and went back upstairs without finishing:(
One time I was fapping and I was using a sock to finish in. Then, my brother comes in, puts the sock on saying "I was looking for the match to this other one!" and leaves. I don't know if he knew I jizzed in it or not.
I have a sock that has like jizz from about 20 masturbations
Well, this was interesting. I just got caught twice. The first time, my sister passed by the door and looked inside. She then proceeded to enter the room and pick up something, then got back to her bedroom. Nothing was said.
Now, the second time, someone almost entered the room, and I saw him/her out of the corner of my eye, and then they suddenly backed out.
FFS. That's [b]TWICE[/b]. IN 30 MINUTES.
[QUOTE=Smokeeater;29180277]I have a sock that has like jizz from about 20 masturbations[/QUOTE]
20? That's smalltime, I've got one that's got the load from...I have no fucking clue how many ejaculations, I just know that the most recent sock is at least 6 months old by now. It can stand up on its own. :v:
The only embarrassing moment that I've ever had while masturbating is when I got a phone call from my mom to tell me to stop masturbating while I was masturbating. I was 13 at the time and it completely unnerved me for a couple of hours.
Do any of you guys have locks on your doors?
[QUOTE=TGKhaotik;29183204]Do any of you guys have locks on your doors?[/QUOTE]
Yes we all do we just don't lock them because we're fucking retards
What the fuck do you think, no we don't have locks.
[QUOTE=Psychopath12;29152046]A lot of people have no idea about how their body works and what could be going wrong with it, that's why you have a professional (ie someone who took years of medical school and got certified) to do it for you. Sure, a self-examination might help, but you will not get a professional diagnosis unless you are a doctor yourself; even then, a second opinion is likely to be warranted if I'm not mistaken.[/QUOTE]
I'm going to go ahead and back this second opinion thing up with a little story. My parents have a friend who went to the doctors one day to check this pain he had in his chest. The doctors checked it and said he had lung cancer. So what they did was put him through surgery to get his entire left lung removed cause that's the one it was in and they didn't want to miss anything. After the surgery is done they come back in the room and tell him there were no signs of cancer in his lung after they pulled it out.
/end story
Back on topic here, I think my most embarrassing experience is when my younger brother almost caught me. I didn't have time to close the tab so I opened a new one and minimized the window. Pants still unzipped with my shirt covering it and he [B]wouldn't fucking leave.[/B] He left after around 30 minutes and I closed everything, zipped up my pants, and left the room.
[QUOTE=Mikesword221;29183265]I'm going to go ahead and back this second opinion thing up with a little story. My parents have a friend who went to the doctors one day to check this pain he had in his chest. The doctors checked it and said he had lung cancer. So what they did was put him through surgery to get his entire left lung removed cause that's the one it was in and they didn't want to miss anything. After the surgery is done they come back in the room and tell him there were no signs of cancer in his lung after they pulled it out.
/end story
Back on topic here, I think my most embarrassing experience is when my younger brother almost caught me. I didn't have time to close the tab so I opened a new one and minimized the window. Pants still unzipped with my shirt covering it and he [B]wouldn't fucking leave.[/B] He left after around 30 minutes and I closed everything, zipped up my pants, and left the room.[/QUOTE]
............I would sue
[editline]14th April 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Psychopath12;29182838]20? That's smalltime, I've got one that's got the load from...I have no fucking clue how many ejaculations, I just know that the most recent sock is at least 6 months old by now. It can stand up on its own. :v:[/QUOTE]
:wtc:
[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;29183224]Yes we all do we just don't lock them because we're fucking retards
What the fuck do you think, no we don't have locks.[/QUOTE]
well you should get locks.
This is kind of relevant. My friend and I were sneaking through his parents' room looking for their hidden money box. We found it, or so we thought. My friend grabs this box from a shelf in his parents' closet and sets it down. He opens it. Oh shit. This fucker was filled to the brim with his mom's dildos. For some reason, he touched one. It was sticky and wet, apparently. One of the dildos was called The Jolly Green Giant. :q:
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;29177644]I found out if you have the flu, your semen is more.... liquidy.
Which means it can travel higher than regular semen.
Which means you have to clean that shit off the ceiling.
Which means your mother might catch you cleaning the ceiling.
Which means she'll ask some questions.[/QUOTE]
Cumming feels better when you're ill, idk why.
[QUOTE=torero;29182700]FFS. That's [B]TWICE[/B]. IN 30 MINUTES.[/QUOTE]
You fap twice in 30 minutes? Or did that one session take 30 minutes?
Either way: Embarassing. :v:
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