I once went to the bathroom and when I came back, let's just say, I had a viscous substance splattered on my t-shirt (yeah, I was pretty feckin' careless back then).
My mom looked at me and said: "I hope that's mucus". I didn't reply with anything and just sat at my computer, feeling her cold hard stare on my back.
It has never been discussed since.
I was in my room naked, and was gonna fap, but I was on my youtube page with a porn pic on another tab, and a blanket covering me. Then my Dad walked in my room suddenly and I got so scared that I jumped and the mouse accidentally [B]clicked on the fucking porn tab[/B]
I basically got pre-caught or some shit.
ew
I have this bad habit of jizzing into my socks (makes cleanup easier).
But sometimes I forget to put them in the washing machine, and while I was away, my dad had found them all..
So when I come back there is a bag on my bed full of crusty socks.
I was doing it in my room and then suddenly Russia invaded.
It was just like that. They charged in with guns and were shouting and everything. Artillery going off, tanks moving through the streets, etc.
Man how embarrassing that was.
My computer screen faces the only entrance to the room my computer is in. My mom walked in AS I WAS CLIMAXING WHILE I STILL HAD PORN OPEN. My slowed-from-pleasure reflexes barely closed the tab in time, and I just got my pants pulled up enough to catch the load. It all happened so fast she never suspected a thing. Still, if I wasn't a fapping ninja that would've been embarrassing.
[QUOTE=Monty Pie-thon;28698553]My brother took a picture of me climaxing, i didn't know and he showed it at the dinner table the next day, all my family was there.
That is somewhat relevant[/QUOTE]
pics or it didn't happen
actually nevermind
Oh yeah, and the only reason she didn't know it was porn/that I was masturbating was because I make literally no noise when fapping and I'm broad-shouldered so you can't see my screen until you're right behind me. :v:
[editline]21st March 2011[/editline]
My automerge! :argh:
I was leaning on my chair and fapping real fast, suddenly i leaned to long and my little sister came in the door, so i tried to reach for the mouse but i fell backwards and kicked my computer screen of the table.
[QUOTE=BurnEmDown;28693288]Your mom high-fived you after she saw you masturbate? Dude...[/QUOTE]
lol
[editline]21st March 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Cl0cK;28694314]Your mom totally wants to bone you, that's pretty disturbing.[/QUOTE]
Is she a milf?
Found that if you try to force yourself to urinate during ejaculation, it propels your cum farther. Unfortunately, some of it hit me in the eye and hurt. A lot. Fucking sperm, man.
[QUOTE=myalt22;28729333]I have this bad habit of jizzing into my socks (makes cleanup easier).
But sometimes I forget to put them in the washing machine, and while I was away, my dad had found them all..
So when I come back there is a bag on my bed full of crusty socks.[/QUOTE]
There needs to be a "gross" rating
[QUOTE=LunchboxOfDoom;28731730]Found that if you try to force yourself to urinate during ejaculation, it propels your cum farther. Unfortunately, some of it hit me in the eye and hurt. A lot. Fucking sperm, man.[/QUOTE]
I'm going to try this, brb.
[editline]21st March 2011[/editline]
GOD DAMNIT NOW THERE'S PISS ON THE CEILING.
/caps
[QUOTE=samusaran253;28731753]There needs to be a "gross" rating[/QUOTE]
I use informative
This once, it had been a week or so since my last fap. I was watching some extremely hot lesbian porn, like, the best I have ever seen, and it wasn't even really hardcore or anything.
Anyway, I felt I was about to climax, reached for my tissue paper, wrapped my dick in it, and blasted away. But somehow i blasted through the 3-4 layers of tissue paper and I barely got a glimpse of the sperm as it flew away. And then I just sat there, nearly paralyzed from the great orgasm. When I returned to reality, I cleaned myself up, and started looking for the rest of the cum.
I feared the worst, of course, it could be on my screen, my posters, my keyboard, stuff like that. But it wasn't. I checked the ceiling, my hair, and I had heard all these stories of people getting cum strange places, but I had never tried it myself, so I was pretty frantic. And then I simply had to give up. To this day, I still don't know where the fuck all that cum went.
And that is unsettling.
[QUOTE=Codename 47;28733426]This once, it had been a week or so since my last fap. I was watching some extremely hot lesbian porn, like, the best I have ever seen, and it wasn't even really hardcore or anything.
Anyway, I felt I was about to climax, reached for my tissue paper, wrapped my dick in it, and blasted away. But somehow i blasted through the 3-4 layers of tissue paper and I barely got a glimpse of the sperm as it flew away. And then I just sat there, nearly paralyzed from the great orgasm. When I returned to reality, I cleaned myself up, and started looking for the rest of the cum.
I feared the worst, of course, it could be on my screen, my posters, my keyboard, stuff like that. But it wasn't. I checked the ceiling, my hair, and I had heard all these stories of people getting cum strange places, but I had never tried it myself, so I was pretty frantic. And then I simply had to give up. To this day, I still don't know where the fuck all that cum went.
And that is unsettling.[/QUOTE]
You came so hard that it shot off into the walls at a faster speed then that of sound, bounced around, slowed down while you were looking and hit into the tissue.
A+ thread, seriously. I'm subscribing to this, these stories are hillarious.
[QUOTE=VaSTinY;28735188]A+ thread, seriously. I'm subscribing to this, these stories are hillarious.[/QUOTE]
I wonder if Patcher will post in this thread...
[QUOTE=Nightsure;28735543]I wonder if Patcher will post in this thread...[/QUOTE]
Who? :v:
[editline]22nd March 2011[/editline]
And I think it was emberassing when I fapped for like 20 minutes and didn't have an orgasm... :v:
[QUOTE=Nightsure;28735543]I wonder if Patcher will post in this thread...[/QUOTE]Let's not bring him up.
I died
[QUOTE=credesniper;28735908]Let's not bring him up.[/QUOTE]
I still feel terrible for making that thread about him...
[QUOTE=Turnips5;28735943]Came with the force of a thousand suns. My semen attained 99.999999% of the speed of light, allowing my sperm to travel uninhibited through the cosmos in a relativistically-shortened blink of an eye (from the sperm's point of view, anyway.)
Damn, that was embarassing.[/QUOTE]
Image the aftermath of climaxing in a girl.
600,000,000,000 little soldiers coming out at the speed of 269,813,212 meters per second into human flesh.
It's the Hiroshima bombings all over again, but in a fucking bed.
[editline]21st March 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=DatWut?;28735745]Who? :v:
[/QUOTE]
From what I searched up, he did something with his sister.
And this thread is about bad masturbation experiences, so I'm guessing his parents caught him drenching his sister or something.
[editline]21st March 2011[/editline]
Holy fuck, I was right.
I think.
[QUOTE=Sobotnik;27020681]He ejaculated onto his 13 year old sister.[/QUOTE]
One time a few years ago I was stick and lying in my parent bed watching their TV and [i]not fapping[/i], but I guess I was shifting my position a bit when my mom came and and she went "Oh! I'm sorry!" and quickly shut the door. I assume she thought I was fapping, but I couldn't really set things straight... It sucked because fapping in your parents bed would be disgusting.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;28736817]
From what I searched up, he did something with his sister.
And this thread is about bad masturbation experiences, so I'm guessing his parents caught him drenching his sister or something.
[/QUOTE]
Not quite. It was worse than that. But I had the thread deleted to respect his privacy.
Just remember they do things differently in Ukraine.
I still have him on my steam friends lol.
You can't just say things like that but not give the details.
You're killing me.
Him and his 13 year old sister fucked constantly or something right? I can't remember
[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;28705718]I was in my room naked, and was gonna fap, but I was on my youtube page with a porn pic on another tab, and a blanket covering me. Then my Dad walked in my room suddenly and I got so scared that I jumped and the mouse accidentally [B]clicked on the fucking porn tab[/B]
I basically got pre-caught or some shit.[/QUOTE]
[IMG]http://i1120.photobucket.com/albums/l494/Mister_Sandman2/Fappart1.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://i1120.photobucket.com/albums/l494/Mister_Sandman2/FAPPART2.jpg[/IMG]
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
