[QUOTE=Smokeeater;29293344]i finnaly threw the sock out..........it smelt terrible[/QUOTE]
Mine smells like victory. Not throwing it out until it completely disintegrates.
I was masturbating and felt like a had to fart so I farted while I
was fapping and instead of fart poop came out and I was almost
done masturbating and I though that i could ingore that, but it
took me longer to finish becose of the smell and then my mom
opens the door.
How could you confuse a masturbation thread with a games thread?
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;29298581]How could you confuse a masturbation thread with a games thread?[/QUOTE]
With this: [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JORtc2gAsY[/media]
Fuck everyone's awake and the reason I Woke up early.
Bumping with story.
Last night i was fapping, and i caught the cold a day before. Anyways, as i came i sneezed, I'm telling you, Shit went flying. hit my face and the wall.
fapped whilst using my moms computer.
never been caught :smug:
[QUOTE=Psychopath12;29297674]Mine smells like victory. Not throwing it out until it completely disintegrates.[/QUOTE]
Update on this: It broke in half. Not entirely snapped in half, but there's this giant gaping hole where there used to be a crease from the sock being folded.
An interesting story that I recall from college.
I'm sitting at my desk in my dorm working. Outside in the parking lot, I can hear an obnoxious guy making sounds, I shut him out by putting on headphones and listening to a little music. Soon enough, I hear some yelling. Someone was shouting out his window at whoever was making the sounds that were echoing around the dorms. He shouted "SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TRYING TO MASTURBATE HERE!" The guy making sound falls silent and the air is filled with muffled laughter, giggling, and someone even applauding the guy.
:v:
Remeber when there was that thread on GD about some guy cumming while puking?
And he said it felt amazing.
[editline]15th May 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Jidkut;29186265]Cumming feels better when you're ill, idk why.[/QUOTE]
I totally agree. Maybe because it relaxes you or something or maybe people like to stay home all day when they are sick and fap.
Especially when you have a headache.
[QUOTE=shatteredwindow;29831689]Especially when you have a headache.[/QUOTE]
Doesn't that hurt? :ohdear:
[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;29835606]Doesn't that hurt? :ohdear:[/QUOTE]
It does for me. It actually makes the headache worse so I have to fap slowly.
I'm glad I put of this topic for 15 pages, spent the night reading it and having a good laugh. I've been caught so many times I just don't care anymore.
So, I didn't masturbate for almost one week and then fapped again. I climaxed earlier than I epxected and realised I had nothing to jizz in. So I pressed my dick as hard as I could to prevent jizz from coming out. Yeah, it failed, I saw something flying, looked down at my dick and then BAM, jizz in my face.
My dog was humping my leg :(
[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;29835606]Doesn't that hurt? :ohdear:[/QUOTE]
Haha yeah, it feels horrible, almost not worth wanking in the first place.
I've actually caught my DAD doing it sometimes!
When I was like 9 and a half, i walked up to him on the computer, and said "Whats that?"
It was a windows media players video, and he said "uhhh.....just a music video"
I can't believe I bought it.
There was another time where he was wanking off, as I was going up the stairs, you can imagine my face I as turned around instantly up the stairs.
There's this little thing in a game called garrysmod, where you can show videos and pictures and stuff like that on a screen of your size. I used it personally to masturbate to a few images in my boxfort made out of boxes that can break.
One of the people in the server drove a car into my boxfort, causing it to explode and thus breaking all the boxes and exposing my porn. The porn wasn't very pleasant, either. So right now I have to deal with scared 12 year olds and their angry mothers.
On top of that, the sound was turned up all the way and I jizzed on the keyboard because I got scared of the loud explosion.
DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO CLEAN JIZZ IN BETWEEN THE KEYS IN THE KEYBOARD?
I had to find an old keyboard for those shitty IBM computers and say I lost the other keyboard because I live with my parents.
So here I am, having my usual fap in the shower, and I'm really enjoying it (Hadn't done it for about 2 weeks). Now, for whatever reason, I sat down this time while jerking it.
For those who don't know, jizz reacts strangely when it comes into water (Read: It turns into fucking GLUE). I hadn't known this beforehand.
When I finally climaxed, I got jizz in my pubes. "No big deal" I thought "It should wash out". Nope, it all got stuck in there, and the only real way to get it out of there is to pull it out.
Lost the entire left half of my pubes that day.
[QUOTE=TheWhiteFox1;29857372]So here I am, having my usual fap in the shower, and I'm really enjoying it (Hadn't done it for about 2 weeks). Now, for whatever reason, I sat down this time while jerking it.
For those who don't know, jizz reacts strangely when it comes into water (Read: It turns into fucking GLUE). I hadn't known this beforehand.
When I finally climaxed, I got jizz in my pubes. "No big deal" I thought "It should wash out". Nope, it all got stuck in there, and the only real way to get it out of there is to pull it out.
Lost the entire left half of my pubes that day.[/QUOTE]
oh great god. Take the razor out and take the rest with it.
[QUOTE=areolop;29857403]oh great god. Take the razor out and take the rest with it.[/QUOTE]
Agreed. Men with pubic hair are gross.
[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;29857449]Agreed. Men with pubic hair are gross.[/QUOTE]
I don't mind pubic hair on guys or girls just it better not be a damn bush, I shave down there probably once a month to just keep it somewhat thin.
I don't like the term "caught masturbating". You make it sound like it's bad.
Get caught white handed.
not really on topic but my jizz smells and tastes like some type of chemical
[QUOTE=theguy;29476447]never been caught :smug:[/QUOTE]
Me too. Close encounters though.
I hope this sure as hell doesn't jinx me.
Probably late, but: " I see what you were doing, Ricky. Felt good didn't it? " video.
[editline]16th May 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=tommofandan;28693143]I've had one when my mom said "When you wank, think of me" I was with friends too [/QUOTE]
I have no fucking clue why people masturbate with their friends.
It's really gay if you think about.
Not that being gay is a bad thing, but still.
[editline]16th May 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=TheWhiteFox1;29857372]So here I am, having my usual fap in the shower, and I'm really enjoying it (Hadn't done it for about 2 weeks). Now, for whatever reason, I sat down this time while jerking it.
For those who don't know, jizz reacts strangely when it comes into water (Read: It turns into fucking GLUE). I hadn't known this beforehand.
When I finally climaxed, I got jizz in my pubes. "No big deal" I thought "It should wash out". Nope, it all got stuck in there, and the only real way to get it out of there is to pull it out.
Lost the entire left half of my pubes that day.[/QUOTE]
You jizzed right into your pubes. Ok, imagine this. You're wanking and you jizz right into your pubes. Your penis is really small.
No offense., but it's funny if you think about it that way.
[QUOTE=Errorproxy;29858894]
I have no fucking clue why people masturbate with their friends.
It's really gay if you think about.
Not that being gay is a bad thing, but still.[/QUOTE]
I think he meant she said that to him while he was hanging out with his friends
[QUOTE=XanKriegor;29294070][sp][...]his parents open the door, get on the floor, everyone walk the dinosaur. Witness my perfection.[/sp][/QUOTE]
Sorry this is about a page late, but this was masterful. The rendition was topped with his addition of "[sp]Witness my perfection.[/sp]" Simply genius. Seriously. It just wouldn't be the same without "[sp]Witness my perfection.[/sp]"
[QUOTE=Errorproxy;29858894]You jizzed right into your pubes. Ok, imagine this. You're wanking and you jizz right into your pubes. [b]Your penis is really small.[/b]
No offense., but it's funny if you think about it that way.[/QUOTE]:saddowns:
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