[QUOTE=myalt22;28737729]Not quite. It was worse than that. But I had the thread deleted to respect his privacy.
Just remember they do things differently in Ukraine.
I still have him on my steam friends lol.[/QUOTE]
Tell us the story, please.
If I told you I was into incest and I could not get an erection to anything else and if I don't jack off every hour, my balls will explode and I will bleed to death...
...will you tell me the story?
[QUOTE=tommofandan;28693143]Well, I've had a few myself.
I had one where my brother, who's twenty one walked in on me and was just like "Redtube is fucking shit, use xhamster"[/QUOTE]
Sounds like a cool bro, just looking out for his little bro.
Anyways, I was under a blanket, fapping. My dad walks into my bedroom and asks why I'm "twitching."
-snip-
Wasn't patcher some troll who was a guy and then was like "TROLOLOLOLOL IM A GIRL"
[editline]21st March 2011[/editline]
Wait no, Patcher was Trase
One time I came, and it hit me right in the eye. I shouted a tiny bit, and I could hear my roommate running down the hall. I managed to clear my eye, wipe myself off, turn off the computer, pull my pants up and get on the bed in 3 seconds.
I just said I stubbed my toe on the bed.
Heh heh.
[QUOTE=Lol-Nade;28740758]One time I came, and it hit me right in the eye. I shouted a tiny bit, and I could hear my roommate running down the hall. I managed to clear my eye, wipe myself off, turn off the computer, pull my pants up and get on the bed in 3 seconds.
I just said I stubbed my toe on the bed.
Heh heh.[/QUOTE]
How do people cumm that far? Mine only travels 4 inches upward :smith:
[editline]21st March 2011[/editline]
I guess you could say that's an embarrasing fapping experiance.
[QUOTE=VaSTinY;28735188]A+ thread, seriously. I'm subscribing to this, these stories are hillarious.[/QUOTE]
Thank you. :smile:
[quote=roflburger;28741145]how do people cumm that far? Mine only travels 4 inches upward :smith:
[editline]21st march 2011[/editline]
i guess you could say that's an embarrasing fapping experiance.[/quote]
anal exercises
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;28737138]One time a few years ago I was stick and lying in my parent bed watching their TV and [i]not fapping[/i], but I guess I was shifting my position a bit when my mom came and and she went "Oh! I'm sorry!" and quickly shut the door. I assume she thought I was fapping, but I couldn't really set things straight... It sucked because fapping in your parents bed would be disgusting.[/QUOTE]
Only room in my house I haven't fapped in,
[i]yet[/i]
[QUOTE=angelangel;28741230]anal exercises[/QUOTE]
But that's what i've been fuckin' doing!
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;28741273]But that's what i've been fuckin' doing![/QUOTE]
well
TRY HARDER
One time I tried to masturbate while extremely high on a mixture of weed and other spices. I came so fucking hard and it felt so good...until I realized I actually pissed myself instead of cumming.
[QUOTE=Crimson_Bomb;28698448]I posted this in a thread before, media tagged for length.
[media][URL=http://filesmelt.com/][img_thumb]http://filesmelt.com/dl/best_fap_ever_-_facepunch_version1.jpg[/img_thumb][/URL][/media]
Luckily it wasn't my fapping arm.[/QUOTE]
I fuckin Lol'd, that was one of the best pictures I've ever seen.
[QUOTE=HerpDerper;28740518]Wasn't patcher some troll who was a guy and then was like "TROLOLOLOLOL IM A GIRL"
Wait no, Patcher was Trase[/QUOTE]
Patcher was indeed Trase.
I may still have his story archived on a notepad file somewhere on my other computer, but I can't get it till the weekend, and it would take too long to explain. All I can tell you is that I have seen pictures of him and his sister snogging, and him and a dude snogging.
Then he tries to give me some bullshit over steam that it's his "cousin".
Fun Face: He's a Psychologist.
[editline]22nd March 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;28741145]How do people cumm that far? Mine only travels 4 inches upward :smith:
[/QUOTE]
If i don't catch it in a sock or something It hits the ceiling, it's madness.
rips right through tissue, unless it's like 4-ply.
[editline]22nd March 2011[/editline]
If i can find the file, i will upload it all to ED.
I'm hoping I do, because it was fucking funny.
More of a string of experiences than a single experience. For the first like year and a half after I hit puberty, I had no fucking clue how to jack off "properly." Instead of making a hole with my hand, sticking dick in the hole, and moving the hand, I did something else. It was very much like strumming a guitar, if the guitar was a penis. It took a while to get off that way but it sorta worked. Now I jerk it like a champion :fappery:
This happened a few months ago. True story
Because I'm a lazy fuck I keep all my used tissues in one of my drawers. I usually pile up a few in there before I decide to flush em down the toilet.
So my brother comes in one day looking for his headphones and the asshole goes through all my shit. I had my headphones on while watching Youtube videos and it took me a few seconds to realize that I still had a few tissues in one of my drawers. I quickly turned around and just caught him opening that draw - I was too late.
He looks back at me and my reaction was..
Me - Don't touch those if I were you!
Him - *smile on face* I won't don't worry
Me - They are from a few months back when I had the flu real bad.. and I haven't bothered throwing them out yet
Him - Sure..
I wasn't fooling anyone :(
Wow I never realized so many people get caught. I have yet to this day (Unless my mom is a ninja) to be caught fapping. I got close though. I was climaxing right as my brother walked into the room and ninja'd and pulled my pants up and jizzed right as he walked in.
[QUOTE=bull04;28742354]Wow I never realized so many people get caught. I have yet to this day (Unless my mom is a ninja) to be caught fapping. I got close though. I was climaxing right as my brother walked into the room and ninja'd and pulled my pants up and jizzed right as he walked in.[/QUOTE]
pretty much this only it was my dad.
[QUOTE=bull04;28742354]Wow I never realized so many people get caught. I have yet to this day (Unless my mom is a ninja) to be caught fapping. I got close though. I was climaxing right as my brother walked into the room and ninja'd and pulled my pants up and jizzed right as he walked in.[/QUOTE]
My cat is the only one to have caught me fapping.
sneaky little bastard.
After I already fapped and came, I was sitting in the afterglow and my mom walked in on me. This was after saving up forever too, so I came gallons. It fucking figures, the one day I forget to lock my door..
Also one day at school my friend showed up early in the cold morning, drowsy and struggling to keep his eyes open. Also, he had thick crusty white lines all across his black T-Shirt. I asked him "Dude is that jizz all over your shirt" and instantaneously his eyes sprung open, he ripped off his shirt and booked it to the P.E. locker room to change into his P.E. shirt uniform. Apparently he had run out of tissue to clean up his jizz the other day, so he used his clothes. The next day he woke up really late, and in a panic he threw on his old clothes. Covered in jizz.
Closest I've ever been to being caught, that I'm aware of, was when my parents came home early from a night out and I'd been wanking in my room. I didn't hear them come in and I suddenly heard my mum at the top of the stairs, coming to say hi.
I panicked, whipped up my jeans, catching my dick in the process, and just getting it hidden as she knocked on my door.
She asked why I was all sweaty and hot when I opened the door :v:
Haha, I found it awkward once when a friend was like "do you mind if i wank" and we were toppin' and talin' and I was just like "kay..."
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;28739938]Tell us the story, please.
If I told you I was into incest and I could not get an erection to anything else and if I don't jack off every hour, my balls will explode and I will bleed to death...
...will you tell me the story?[/QUOTE]
He came on his 18 or 19 y/o sister multiple times, apparently she was okay with it, and he also posted pics of her and of them kissing.
That's her:
[URL=http://img714.imageshack.us/i/7b29e36b526a56b7c5f45dd.png/][IMG]http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/3602/7b29e36b526a56b7c5f45dd.png[/IMG][/URL]
Uploaded with [URL=http://imageshack.us]ImageShack.us[/URL]
He also made a cartoon describing the situation, don't have that one though.
By the looks of his sister I would guess that his family is notorious for incest and birth defects
[QUOTE=Numidium;28749210]He came on his 18 or 19 y/o sister multiple times, apparently she was okay with it, and he also posted pics of her and of them kissing.
That's her:
[URL=http://img714.imageshack.us/i/7b29e36b526a56b7c5f45dd.png/][img_thumb]http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/3602/7b29e36b526a56b7c5f45dd.png[/img_thumb][/URL]
Uploaded with [URL=http://imageshack.us]ImageShack.us[/URL]
He also made a cartoon describing the situation, don't have that one though.[/QUOTE]
I can somewhat understand him
[QUOTE=Numidium;28749210]He came on his 18 or 19 y/o sister multiple times, apparently she was okay with it, and he also posted pics of her and of them kissing.
That's her:
[URL=http://img714.imageshack.us/i/7b29e36b526a56b7c5f45dd.png/][img_thumb]http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/3602/7b29e36b526a56b7c5f45dd.png[/img_thumb][/URL]
Uploaded with [URL=http://imageshack.us]ImageShack.us[/URL]
He also made a cartoon describing the situation, don't have that one though.[/QUOTE]
Holy crap I remember that.
Wait! I thought it was a JOKE. It wasn't?
[QUOTE=Radman;28751422]Holy crap I remember that.
Wait! I thought it was a JOKE. It wasn't?[/QUOTE]
Nope.
[editline]22nd March 2011[/editline]
I find her kinda cute, actually.
But he's still a strange motherfucker.
Makes me think of [url=http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1021411-Worst-Fapping-Experiences-MS-Paint-Edition!]this thread[/url].
Also, this is Patcher's story:
[media]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4515129/Funny/whathaveIdone.png[/media]
[QUOTE=Egonny;28752180]Makes me think of [url=http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1021411-Worst-Fapping-Experiences-MS-Paint-Edition!]this thread[/url].
Also, this is Patcher's story:
[media]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4515129/Funny/whathaveIdone.png[/media][/QUOTE]
Haha, shit, I remember this guy, I thought it was a joke :v:
[QUOTE=Egonny;28752180]Makes me think of [url=http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1021411-Worst-Fapping-Experiences-MS-Paint-Edition!]this thread[/url].
Also, this is Patcher's story:
[media]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4515129/Funny/whathaveIdone.png[/media][/QUOTE]
Oh my god, I remember that. That was fucking funny.
[editline]22nd March 2011[/editline]
His sister is hot though.
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