[QUOTE=Numidium;28749210]He came on his 18 or 19 y/o sister multiple times, apparently she was okay with it, and he also posted pics of her and of them kissing.
That's her:
[URL=http://img714.imageshack.us/i/7b29e36b526a56b7c5f45dd.png/][img_thumb]http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/3602/7b29e36b526a56b7c5f45dd.png[/img_thumb][/URL]
Uploaded with [URL=http://imageshack.us]ImageShack.us[/URL]
He also made a cartoon describing the situation, don't have that one though.[/QUOTE]
Ahaha, I was right.
Thanks for posting the story, you made me live for another hour.
I don't fap.
I broke my leg trying to ninja myself out of a fap.
It was Saturday morning and I had just woken up, it was pretty early so I decided to have a morning fap. Got on Redtube and started fapping away and was about to climax but about the time when I climaxed, my parents door opened (they are right next to me in the house), and I turned around, my eyes squinted from pleasure, and did the slowest jump from a chair known to man, I was literally jumping and cumming at the same time. I don't know what propelled me to think jumping behind my bed after closing the porn would work but I tried to do it.
And failed.
I ended up hitting the side of my bed with my jaw and out of instinct, let go of my dick and slapped my jaw with my hand, got sperm all over my face, it was disgusting. But wait, that's not all, when I hit my jaw, I didn't fall down, I just lost balance and kinda backed up and tripped and hit the wall, it wasn't as bad as the jaw hit, so I merely fell forward a little bit, and I tripped on the same thing that made me trip falling backwards but this time I went leg forwards and hit the bottom of my shelves, I'll draw a little pic of it to show you how the shelves are made out:
[img]http://i51.tinypic.com/avraxf.png[/img]
My foot went under the very bottom of the shelf and it fell forward and the heavy books hit my leg, normally this wouldn't of done anything, but my leg was angled very badly at the moment, so it got a small fracture.
I dealt with the pain pretty well but I still fractured a bone so it hurt pretty bad, I was kind of screaming, kind of whimpering, I wasn't very loud but my mom was walking past my door so she heard me. She opened my door and saw me groping my leg with my dick in between them and cum all over my face. Not to mention the bloody lower jaw.
Once, I was fapping on the couch in the living room across from my door when nobody was home. My dad usally gets home from work around 6:30, but he finished work early and came home at like 5. So as I'm sitting on the couch, blanket over me with the computer on my lap, I see my dad's car pull up. So I do a barrel roll off the couch, zip up my pants and toss the laptop in a drawer. I get on the couch, acting totally chill like I'm watching TV. My dad comes in, asks how my day was, and then goes in the garage. He comes back five minutes later, and then he just gets this real serious face on. Then, he looks me in the eye and says;
"Jake, if you're gonna be jacking off, do it on that couch. People can see through that fucking door window."
[QUOTE=Numidium;28751529]Nope.
[editline]22nd March 2011[/editline]
I find her kinda cute, actually.
But he's still a strange [b]sister[/b]fucker.[/QUOTE]
Fixed. :q:
Once I was fapping late at night, and I look over to the door, and i see my dad walking to my door, and I pretend like I'm asleep, then I see him put something next to my door. I am curious, so after a while I decide to go to the bathroom, and on my way check what it was. It was hand lotion.
[QUOTE=Pee;28753443]I don't fap.[/QUOTE]
That is embarrassing.
[editline]22nd March 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=LieutenantLeo;28754791]Once I was fapping late at night, and I look over to the door, and i see my dad walking to my door, and I pretend like I'm asleep, then I see him put something next to my door. I am curious, so after a while I decide to go to the bathroom, and on my way check what it was. It was hand lotion.[/QUOTE]
You think that's creepy? There is hand lotion right on top of the computer overhead shelf, the bottle gets lighter every time I come home from school.
:iiam:
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;28755339]That is embarrassing.
[editline]22nd March 2011[/editline]
You think that's creepy? There is hand lotion right on top of the computer overhead shelf, the bottle gets lighter every time I come home from school.
:iiam:[/QUOTE]
I doubt you'd feel a difference in weight each day, especially one faps worth.
[QUOTE=Sobotnik;28729371]I was doing it in my room and then suddenly Russia invaded.
It was just like that. They charged in with guns and were shouting and everything. Artillery going off, tanks moving through the streets, etc.
Man how embarrassing that was.[/QUOTE]
I now know you live in Georgia.
[editline]22nd March 2011[/editline]
Oh by the way, when I was 11 or so, and I was fapping (My computer used to be in the living room, so this was pre 2005) and I had just finished, I pull up my pants and my mum walks in and asks, "What the hell were you doing with your pants down?"
[editline]22nd March 2011[/editline]
I told her I was mooning my brother. Who was asleep on the couch :v:
One time, I can remember easily was when I was fapping in my bathroom, when the locked door sprung open, and almost instantly I used my body force to slam it shut. Well, my brother was partly in there and he was all like, "OH HAY WAHTZ UP," and I standing there, naked, fapping and my brother pushing the door open. Then I heard a voice, "BOYS STOP FOOLING AROUND." My dad was fucking yelling at us. I couldn't let my brother win, nor could I stand like this for a minute or my dad would come. Finally he left my alone so I could finish up.
Since I fap in the bathroom, it takes me a good solid 15-20 minute ritual to fap. So after one time, my mom told me that if I had trouble going, I shouldn't go.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;28753160]Ahaha, I was right.
Thanks for posting the story, you made me live for another hour.[/QUOTE]
It was a fucking troll story by Trase.
This is some funny shit man, funny shit.
One time during an intense fap session, about 20 minutes in, my leg starts tensing up and I get the brutalest cramp in my calf which automatically throws my knee up into my computer desk, partially breaking a small piece of it, I then tense my back and straighten out in pain, and the fucking computer chair flips backwards.
During the commotion I guess I lost control and blew the load mid fall. I land straight on my back, pop up quickly and immediately look for where the misfire went. After 10 minutes of looking around I see no trace of anything.
I pick up the chair and resume browsing, my knee bleeding and with a headache.
I can't even remember the orgasm.
FML.
[QUOTE=HawkeyeTy;28758386]One time during an intense fap session, about 20 minutes in, my leg starts tensing up and I get the brutalest cramp in my calf which automatically throws my knee up into my computer desk, partially breaking a small piece of it, I then tense my back and straighten out in pain, and the fucking computer chair flips backwards.
During the commotion I guess I lost control and blew the load mid fall. I land straight on my back, pop up quickly and immediately look for where the misfire went. After 10 minutes of looking around I see no trace of anything.
I pick up the chair and resume browsing, my knee bleeding and with a headache.
I can't even remember the orgasm.
FML.[/QUOTE]
Haha, that sounds so unlucky, I just sit there when people come in and they're like "fuuuuuu, sorry"
Some years ago when I was like 15 I was wanking when I heard my mom walking down the hall. I quickly turned the screen off and put my pillow on my lap. My mom opens the door at screams at me, telling me to go bed. Panicking, i scream" BUT MOM I WANT TO PLAY BATTLEFIELD 2142", she totally bought it (>.>) and screamed that its just a damn game and to go to bed, slamming the door shut. Little more cautious there on out
[QUOTE=moku5;28758476]Some years ago when I was like 15 I was wanking when I heard my mom walking down the hall. I quickly turned the screen off and put my pillow on my lap. My mom opens the door at screams at me, telling me to go bed. Panicking, i scream" BUT MOM I WANT TO PLAY BATTLEFIELD 2142", she totally bought it (>.>) and screamed that its just a damn game and to go to bed, slamming the door shut. Little more cautious there on out[/QUOTE]
Protip: Have a game open in Steam, open Steams browser, browse porn, when you hear someone Shift+tab and be like, "sup"
I fell asleep with my dick in my hand and my sister walked in to wake me for dinner.
Quietest. Dinner. Ever.
Oh update: I once wanked when my brother was in the same room, about five metres away, I couldn't get up for the raging dragon, so I thought fuck it, and whipped the lad out and fapped away, little did I know he was doing like a "wtf are you doing" face. I was just about to climax. I was so fucking silent. :smug:
Once i was having a fap i was tilting back. I rocked like a baby on the chair as i was preparing for climax. Then my 20 year old sis walks in SHRIEKING "Where the FUCK is my fucking backpack" Me and the chair are falling back as my sis walks in AND while im climaxing. My fucking jizz launched right at her face and probably in her mouth. She then yells and pretty loud HOLY SHIT as my dad comes up with my mom. He saw the jizz on her lip and punished me. Still it was the best fap ever.
hot
op is a giant liar
I was fapping in my bed the night after my brother came over. He had left that morning and had slept in my bed. Anyways I came and the next day found my bed covered in crusty smelly shit.
I came on my chest.
Shit.
Patcher is one of the greatest Facepunch members of all time.
[QUOTE=ButtsexV2;28759079]op is a giant liar[/QUOTE]
I wish I had a way to prove it to you, but you have my word, I'm not, if I am, permaban me. You are also a huge idiot, why would I post shit like that and lie? I could've just said, I fapped and my dog started blowing me and it was so nice, < Obvious lie, mine are true.
[editline]23rd March 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=BigBeretFrenchi;28758767]Once i was having a fap i was tilting back. I rocked like a baby on the chair as i was preparing for climax. Then my 20 year old sis walks in SHRIEKING "Where the FUCK is my fucking backpack" Me and the chair are falling back as my sis walks in AND while im climaxing. My fucking jizz launched right at her face and probably in her mouth. She then yells and pretty loud HOLY SHIT as my dad comes up with my mom. He saw the jizz on her lip and punished me. Still it was the best fap ever.[/QUOTE]
New Trase/Patcher.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;28755773]I doubt you'd feel a difference in weight each day, especially one faps worth.[/QUOTE]
But sometimes you need more lotion for more dick.
By that theory, someone in my house must have a massive dick.
I think it might be my sister...
:ms:
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;28759529]But sometimes you need more lotion for more dick.
By that theory, someone in my house must have a massive dick.
I think it might be my sister...
:ms:[/QUOTE]
Oh shit! I snook in the night before, sorry broseph.
[QUOTE=tommofandan;28759560]Oh shit! I snook in the night before, sorry broseph.[/QUOTE]
Oh, well that explains the Justin Timberlake nudes in all 7 tabs. At first, I thought it was my sister cause she really loves him.
[editline]22nd March 2011[/editline]
Nah, im kiddin broski
[QUOTE=BigBeretFrenchi;28758767]Once i was having a fap i was tilting back. I rocked like a baby on the chair as i was preparing for climax. Then my 20 year old sis walks in SHRIEKING "Where the FUCK is my fucking backpack" Me and the chair are falling back as my sis walks in AND while im climaxing. My fucking jizz launched right at her face and probably in her mouth. She then yells and pretty loud HOLY SHIT as my dad comes up with my mom. He saw the jizz on her lip and punished me. Still it was the best fap ever.[/QUOTE]
Was it the best masturbation session ever [I]because[/I] you jizzed on your sister, or was it just an unusually glorious fap? Anyway, I have a story to share. I was thirteen on a frigid morning on the fifth day of summer camp. (It was Boy Scouts camp) I woke up before everyone else involuntarily, and I wasn't able to return to my precious slumber, as my sweat only amplified the chill. I was craving a jerk-off since I'd gone the whole five days without one. Seeing this as a good opportunity, I whipped off my pants and took my towel out of my backpack. I blanketed myself with the towel after getting out of my sleeping bag, and went at it. It feels spectacular to masturbate in cold temperature.
The towel had caught all. I tossed the towel to my feet and tried to get some sleep, feeling relaxed and a bit drowsy. In about ten minutes, the wake up call started. My friend on the bottom bunk woke up, but I continued with my rest. Later that day, I found out that the person who woke us up accidentally woke us up about thirty minutes earlier. Still lying in bed, I heard something being pulled off of my bed, but I was too tired to care. My friend on the bottom started shuffling around through his stuff, later exiting the door. Fifteen minutes later, he returned. He tossed the towel over my sleeping bag covered stomach and said "Wake up buddy! We gotta get ready for breakfast." As I started to pull myself out of my sleeping bag, he added "Oh, and you need to stop fuckin' wiping your nose with your towel."
I'm sure you can make an educated guess on what transpired on that day. Also, yes, it does get cold in the mornings in Summer. And I have another one, it doesn't really have as much detail as the last. I have a jacket that I wear in class, and when I do, I masturbate. One day my teacher wondered what I was doing fiddling around underneath that thing. Quickly, I came up with "I'm... adjusting the pencils on my interior pocket ma'am. It's bothering me." She said "Ah", and walked away. I never wore that same jacket again. This taught me a moral. Never publicly masturbate. There could have been direr consequences.
Haven't read this thread til now cause it sounded shitty but it's actually pretty hilarious. Although all of these stories involving falling off chairs and coming at the same moment seem pretty implausible. BigBeret's, for example, is without a doubt a load of manure.
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;28759874]Haven't read this thread til now cause it sounded shitty but it's actually pretty hilarious. Although all of these stories involving falling off chairs and coming at the same moment seem pretty implausible. BigBeret's, for example, is without a doubt a load of manure.[/QUOTE]
I believe it. It gave me a raging erection after reading it, not implying that that's what affected me into thinking it true.
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