[QUOTE=peterson;28774609]This scared the shit out of me...
When I was about 14-15 I used to fap into socks I never used. Well I would hide them under my mattress and when the socks would get nasty and crusty I would use a new sock. Well... Fast forward one day and I'm about 17 and I don't do it anymore. My mom is cleaning out my room and she looks under the mattress, there's 20 socks there. I don't know if she had any idea but she took them down in the basement to get them washed and I quickly got a trash bag afterwards and ninja'd down there and put them in the bag and woke myself up early on trash pick up day to put them outside... I was never so scared in my life.[/QUOTE]
20 socks. :wtc:
[QUOTE=tommofandan;28759223]I wish I had a way to prove it to you, but you have my word, I'm not, if I am, permaban me. You are also a huge idiot, why would I post shit like that and lie? I could've just said, I fapped and my dog started blowing me and it was so nice, < Obvious lie, mine are true.[/QUOTE]
you got defensive when I questioned the validity of your story
[editline]24th March 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=desrt_rat;28773768]... we have this thing in our brain that prevents us from being sexually attracted to family...[/QUOTE]
not necessarily.
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genetic_sexual_attraction[/url]
[QUOTE=ButtsexV2;28775894]you got defensive when I questioned the validity of your story
[/QUOTE]
Because I'm not lying?
[QUOTE=tommofandan;28776167]Because I'm not lying?[/QUOTE]
then instead of getting defensive try providing an intelligent counter-argument
I was isolated in my house with 2 parents in 2 different rooms. Me lacking the common sense I do, I picked the sleeping one instead of fapping on the couch. I got in the bed (my parents and i share it because we can't afford my own bed) and fapped right beside my dad (about 2 spots in the kingsized bed away from a 360 pound man) and then when I was done he said I'd pull my dick off. I forgot it was time for him to get up. :smithicide:
[editline]23rd March 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Numidium;28749210]He came on his 18 or 19 y/o sister multiple times, apparently she was okay with it, and he also posted pics of her and of them kissing.
That's her:
[URL=http://img714.imageshack.us/i/7b29e36b526a56b7c5f45dd.png/][img_thumb]http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/3602/7b29e36b526a56b7c5f45dd.png[/img_thumb][/URL]
Uploaded with [URL=http://imageshack.us]ImageShack.us[/URL]
He also made a cartoon describing the situation, don't have that one though.[/QUOTE]
Thought she was 13. You sick fuck
[QUOTE=Cypher_09;28770920]When me and my best friend masturbated together in the same room
Both male :smug:[/QUOTE]
This is not something to be smug about.
[B]At all.[/B]
Broken page 5?
[editline]23rd March 2011[/editline]
Anyway, Just a few days ago, I was fapping away when my brother bursts through my locked bedroom door, (frame was broken by him slamming his body into it because he was mad at me wanting to have some isolation while doing homework.) and demands the laptop I was currently using for 'various' reasons. I told him to fuck off, and once he left, continued to fap.
the doctor called me while i was wankin it
my wife had had a miscarriage
it was so embarassing
i drew you a comic:
[img]http://webcomicoverlook.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/cad20.jpg?w=550&h=695[/img]
Once I decided to try and masturbate and suck my own dick / jizz on my face. My mother wasn't home so I got completely naked and tried this technique where I leaned against a door to do just that. So I do just that and then all of a sudden the door opens, it was my sister. I didn't hear a car door slam or nothing. So when she opens the door she pushes me against the the wall so im being sandwiched by the wall and the door. I was so freaked out that I jizzed right when that happened all over my face
My sister then looks behind the door to see whats going on and then just leaves. Ever since then we don't talk that much, and when we do it's awkward.
[QUOTE=seano12;28778546]Once I decided to try and masturbate and suck my own dick / jizz on my face. My mother wasn't home so I got completely naked and tried this technique where I leaned against a door to do just that. So I do just that and then all of a sudden the door opens, it was my sister. I didn't hear a car door slam or nothing. So when she opens the door she pushes me against the the wall so im being sandwiched by the wall and the door. I was so freaked out that I jizzed right when that happened all over my face
My sister then looks behind the door to see whats going on and then just leaves. Ever since then we don't talk that much, and when we do it's awkward.[/QUOTE]
Thats hot you totally should of fucked her.
:smug:
[QUOTE=superdinoman;28778589]Thats hot you totally should of fucked her.
:smug:[/QUOTE]
But she's fat as fuck.
[QUOTE=seano12;28778622]But she's fat as fuck.[/QUOTE]
More cushion for the pushin'
I've never been caught cleaning my gun. But this one time, I was looking at porn. And then my dad comes into my room and takes a glance at my screen. Then he said: "You know. I have some porn magazines in the attic, if you're interested in that stuff."
It felt so weird.
I think this is my most succesful post ever.
[QUOTE=ButtsexV2;28776420]then instead of getting defensive try providing an intelligent counter-argument[/QUOTE]
no
I was traveling back home from Flordia because I had to visit a shit of a fuck called "Disneyworld"
I was in the airport, and I was waiting in-line at what looked to be a TSA Full Body Scanner.
I then started freaking out and proceeded to "Prep Myself"
If you can't understand that:
[h2]I WAS MASTURBATING IN A LINEUP AT AN AIRPORT[/h2]
Don't worry, I had my pants on. But it looked reaaly akward.
ANYWAYS, the reason I was doing this is because I am a horney teenager and the person that was doing the scanning was a very nice MILF.
A security guard was looking at me, I replied by saying "Sup"
I then had a semi-boner, it's the stage between flacid and full-on boner.
But it turned out it was a basic metal detector. :smith:
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;28779053]I was traveling back home from Flordia because I had to visit a shit of a fuck called "Disneyworld"
I was in the airport, and I was waiting in-line at what looked to be a TSA Full Body Scanner.
I then started freaking out and proceeded to "Prep Myself"
If you can't understand that:
[h2]I WAS MASTURBATING IN A LINEUP AT AN AIRPORT[/h2]
Don't worry, I had my pants on. But it looked reaaly akward.
ANYWAYS, the reason I was doing this is because I am a horney teenager and the person that was doing the scanning was a very nice MILF.
A security guard was looking at me, I replied by saying "Sup"
I then had a semi-boner, it's the stage between flacid and full-on boner.
But it turned out it was a basic metal detector. :smith:[/QUOTE]
But how is the what even do i know what to do
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;28779053]I was traveling back home from Flordia because I had to visit a shit of a fuck called "Disneyworld"
I was in the airport, and I was waiting in-line at what looked to be a TSA Full Body Scanner.
I then started freaking out and proceeded to "Prep Myself"
If you can't understand that:
[h2]I WAS MASTURBATING IN A LINEUP AT AN AIRPORT[/h2]
Don't worry, I had my pants on. But it looked reaaly akward.
ANYWAYS, the reason I was doing this is because I am a horney teenager and the person that was doing the scanning was a very nice MILF.
A security guard was looking at me, I replied by saying "Sup"
I then had a semi-boner, it's the stage between flacid and full-on boner.
But it turned out it was a basic metal detector. :smith:[/QUOTE]
[h2]WHY WERE YOU MASTURBATING AT AN AIRPORT?[/h2]
/c
-snip-
[QUOTE=Da_Maniac_;28782243][h2]WHY WERE YOU MASTURBATING AT AN AIRPORT?[/h2]
/c[/QUOTE]
[h2]HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA LETS ABUSE HiGHLIGHTS![/h2]
No but really, people get desperate some times man, I masturbated in a tent once. I couldn't feel the orgasm never mind my ballsack and cock.
[QUOTE=Nightsure;28735543]I wonder if Patcher will post in this thread...[/QUOTE]
No because I don't find masturbation "embarrassing". If somebody caught me masturbating I would be like "so what"
[QUOTE=Patcher;28782379]No because I don't find masturbation "embarrassing". If somebody caught me masturbating I would be like "so what"[/QUOTE]
I am honoured to have you in my thread good sir.
[QUOTE=lolerot95;28768498]I got a handjob in first grade. The doctor game started this. Me along with two girls were alone in the woods during recees and one of us decides to play doctor. So they go first, and the typical " were is the wiener question" and then it was my turn to get naked. i pulled my pants of and let them examine me. And then on of the girls drags my foreskin back and forth. Well i guess it's actually just curiosity, i wasn't embarrased then but now when i think back on it, I think it's embarrassing.[/QUOTE]
Wow, fuck you, you lucky bastard. :buddy:
Why does reading that story turn me on...? :v:
[QUOTE=tommofandan;28774438]Been there, done that.[/QUOTE]
Me too. Not really embarassing, though. More like an interesting experience.
[QUOTE=Patcher;28782379]No because I don't find masturbation "embarrassing". If somebody caught me masturbating I would be like "so what"[/QUOTE]
Oh hey patcher I thought you left facepunch.
Also yeah, I wouldn't give a fuck if someone caught me. I'd tell them to either gtfo out or watch me fap.
[QUOTE=myalt22;28783074]Oh hey patcher I thought you left facepunch.
Also yeah, I wouldn't give a fuck if someone caught me. I'd tell them to either gtfo out or watch me fap.[/QUOTE]
Would you say that to your mom or dad? I mean... really?
Oh good. Compwhizzi is breaking and fixing facepunch.
[QUOTE=Da_Maniac_;28782243][h2]WHY WERE YOU MASTURBATING AT AN AIRPORT?[/h2]
/c[/QUOTE]
Because there was a very nice MILF watching what looked like the images on the full body scanner.
And my iPod ran out of battery and there was a long lineup. So I was really bored.
[QUOTE=DatWut?;28783115]Would you say that to your mom or dad? I mean... really?[/QUOTE]
Well, It would never happen.
Door closed = KNOCK FIRST
A rule that every parent is expected to respect.
[editline]24th March 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;28783241]Oh good. Compwhizzi is breaking and fixing facepunch.
Because there was a very nice MILF watching what looked like the images on the full body scanner.
[/QUOTE]
Perfectly understandable, who can control themeselves around MILFs?
[QUOTE=DatWut?;28783031]Wow, fuck you, you lucky bastard. :buddy:
Why does reading that story turn me on...? :v:
Me too. Not really embarassing, though. More like an interesting experience.[/QUOTE]
It was more of an curiosity, they just wanted to see my tiny winy dick head pop in an out.
[QUOTE=myalt22;28783472]Door closed = KNOCK FIRST
A rule that every parent is expected to respect.[/QUOTE]
I wish mine would...
[editline]24th March 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=lolerot95;28783498]It was more of an curiosity, they just wanted to see my tiny winy dick head pop in an out.[/QUOTE]
You know, you are a FUCKING WINNER no matter if it was curiosity. No doubts. :v:
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