I think this is an interesting thread so I'll bump it
The day before yesterday, a thought bloomed in my head RIGHT after waking up. It was pretty random.
"The universal constant of funny might be just people (or the equivalent of people) getting hurt."
Sometimes I wake up at the 6:00 A.M on Saturdays or summer vacations:
"holy shit, I have to get dress and go to the school"
"i'm going to get in trouble and suspended, oh fuck"
Then I check the clock:
[B]Saturday, 6:00 A.M[/B]
"Well, thanks" and I sleep until 9:00 A.M.
I once woke up (im in a bunkbed) and see my lamp hanging on the ceiling. I then thought it was a plate stuck on the ceiling because of a vacuum in it (???). I ended up holding my lamp screaming for help for like 10 minutes untill I realized it was a fucking lamp. Never felt so dumb in my life
I once woke up and freaked out because I couldn't find anyone and had no idea what was going on. I realized it was 7 in the morning and on the weekend...
I really don't know why but I kept repeating to myself, "I don't know what's going on".
Like, nothing was happening, I don't know why I kept saying that.
I normally wake up with odd thoughts like
"Why are Shotguns called shotguns?, they don't shot guns"
On a night before the exam I woke up at 3:00 am thinking I'd missed it. I looked at my clock and thought it was three in the afternoon even though it was dark outside. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out what was going on.
Also because I used to wake up at 6:30 to get to school, in the winter it would be dark outside. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night thinking it was time to get to school, I'd eat breakfast and everything and then realise it was like two in the morning.
occasionally when i woke up on a friend's house in the middle of a night i thought what the hell am i kidnapped, then walk around until im bored and then went to sleep again
Today I woke up thinking "why didn't I have any pants on in that dream?"
[QUOTE=Egg_Toaster;38461065]Sometimes I wake up because I thought my teeth fell out[/QUOTE]
Some shit-ass parapsychyc tards or something say this means something bad will happen soon
this morning I woke up and dreamt that I was in my old house
then i really woke up because my ex was pestering me for a drink and i was like 'where the fuck am i'
once i woke up thinking that time was measured in some incredibly strange system, confusing whoever it was sleeping next to me that woke me up
'hey what time is it'
'12 fishmen; octagon; dancing'
My mom woke me up and the first words that came out of my mouth were " Why and where did you put my nipple "
I woke up one night because of a loud bang downstairs. I thought it was burglars so I checked downstairs and there was nobody there. Fell back into my bed half-asleep and started thinking of good security measures. First thing I came up with was a lock that you could open with your penis and yours only. It took me 4 hours of idea-crafting (pricing/advertising/how to make the keyhole/...) before I realized that women can't use the lock then. At that point I got up and looked through my keyhole and started thinking how dumb I am when I'm tired.
OH MAN! I JUST WOKE UP AND THOUGHT THERE WAS A CAT ON MY FACE!
Had a dream last night where I was invisible, woke up wondering, "Why is it called invisible anyways? Wouldn't that mean I'm in-visibility? Shouldn't it be called outvisible?"
I've had some weird dreams where I've been about to fall down or lose my balance and I wake up because I shudder really hard trying to "re-balance" myself.
I remember having a dream where I saw a van outside, and a bunch of people in orange suits came out with guns. Then I woke up, it was midnight still, and I thought they were coming in. So I got my cheap toy bat and waited for the beeping of the alarm, which never happened. Then I noticed there was no van outside, couldn't go to sleep after that.
When I was about 9 I woke up in the night and opened the fridge, took out a tub of mayo and took it back to bed and cuddled it till I fell asleep.
Worst part was I had also opened it during the night and woke up with mayo on my hands and face.
A few months ago I went to go get my wisdom teeth removed. The last thing I remembered before the drugs kicked in was me talking to a nurse about watches. So after the drugs kicked in I started dreaming about walking into a watch shop, getting ready to talk to the clerk, then my teeth fall out.
My natural reaction was to wake up, so I did. I opened my eyes, and there they were. Four bloody teeth were sitting on my chest (I still have them).
At that point I still couldn't comprehend anything, so I thought that it would be a great idea to start shoving them right back in. I think I got pretty far, but I went back to sleep anyways.
So there I was, 3 DAYS LATER, laying in my bed trying to spit out my teeth that I tried shoving back in place..and a pile of mashed potatoes sitting next to my pillow in a bowl.
Those were some fucking fine ass potatoes.
my mother woke me up and i called her a piece of mongoloid scum.
not really sure where that came from.
had a dream where i met justin bieber at a concert and we became best buds and i woke up, got out my phone, and was about to tweet "@justinbieber great time last night see you soon man" until i realized 'lol what'
I woke up once with a major realization, the full sentence just popped into my head:
"My death will be cereal related."
I had a dream that an alien was going to blow up the sun with a bomb (don't ask why or how) and the sun would expand and destroy the earth. I "woke up" when the sun touched the earth, then looked outside, and the sun destroyed the earth again. This went on for 5 times.
When I actually woke up, I had to check my window just to be sure it was all over.
Today I woke up at 6 in the afternoon and became completely dissociated to reality and forgot when in time I was. I had to use my phone to check what day it was and had to read my messages to jog my memory.
I remember a few times I've had a dream where I'll be buying something, and after I buy it, I wake up and I feel so excited to use the thing I just bought, but then I realize that I didn't actually buy anything and I feel disappointed.
I don't usually see any dreams or even anything inbetween closing my eyes and opening them. That is probably caused by not sleeping enough, but when I do get enough sleep, weird shit kicks in almost immediately.
For example, today I had a weird multi-part dream. For the first part it was pretty passive but set in unusual environment. I was floating in open space between space stations that consisted of neon frames and were shaped irrationally. Some of them had shining rings that supposedly "held them in place". Some of those stations had strainge rotating airlocks, and some didn't even had them at all(Taking in account that I wasn't in space suit or anything and had no trouble flying around and breathing). There were inhabitants on certain stations, but I interacted with only one, which was consisting of some strangely shaped container that you clearly could see through, but couldn't see what's inside. I don't remember what exactly we were talking about, but at the end of discussion the being (which I pretty much associated with Google(!?)) opened up container in order to trust me with contents. Under the lid there was soft glow going from lime to warm-yellow and apparently a recipe for perfect brush-based(?) shoes(!?) which itself looked nothing like shoe, had irregular geometry but was a perfect measuring device and master-copy nonetheless. I vaguely remember what happened next in that part, but at some point it fastforwarded to next part. The next part was somehow related to previous, but I cannot remember how exactly. It happened back on Earth, or at least what I think was Earth. It began with me walking around some house I've never been to, and stubling upon the tool shed. I must emphasize that I couldn't leave the house, and everything seemed static up to the point I opened the toolshed. Apparently, there were different weird tools there, but two of them grabbed my attenton: those were 2 axes, one short and crooked, kinda ones you can see in cheap wares store, and other long and vaguely resembling slightly enlarged fire axe, only painted blue/gray and having strange construction set in bubble embedded halfway in blade. In fact that construction contained recursively the dimension, or universe the axe was currently in. Due to that it was completely indestructible, and harder than any other material. It later turned out that it could slice well enough through any material, I just didn't feel the difference, as I did with other axe. After I left the house, action-y part began where every once in a while something or someone tried to get their hands(or any other kind of extremity) on the axe. After that the dream entered recursive loop where I was losing the axe every time I find it due to mystical reasons. It was like somebody switched tape in movie projector or sorta fastforwarded between 'Finally found it' and 'Oh no, it is missing again'. It just kept happening, and I couldn't break the cycle. If I stopped searching, the axe always found a way to appear in my path, no matter how it got lost. But strangely enough, I felt compelled to search for that axe, and so I did, until I woke up.
I ran around the house for some minutes, waiting for damn plot device to appear only to realise it was a dream and now I'm awake.
I woke up staring at my bare stomach only to see 4 teams of tiny men playing capture the flag there. I watched for a long time. I think after a while I was getting extremely frustrated for some reason too.
[QUOTE=jaykray;38451165]My brain used to set me challenges when I had to wake up for school. I couldn't get up because the world was still loading or something like that.[/QUOTE]
My brain wakes up, it's in two modes.
#1 : Go back to sleep for another four hours.
#2 : JESUS CHRIST FUCK THE WORLD'S ENDING GOGOGOG
I can blast out of the bed in a few seconds soon as I gain consciousness, or I sleep like a rock for most of the day.
Sometimes when I wake up, I feel like I forgot everything I ever learned in life.
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