Granted, little do you realize geese are short of temperament. Whaling giant-goose hisses and flapping with intimidating intent, your mega-goose stampedes throughout your neighbourhood, pecking off limbs of unsuspecting morning commuters. The military rolls in and fires incendiary rounds into the goose, making the world's largest cooked goose in a matter of minutes. You are fined $50 for littering food in a public space.
I wish I had the money to build a three foot bipropellant rocket with active guidance.
Granted, but you spend the money on cheap energy drinks instead.
I wish Facepunch would quit being all sepia!
It becomes rave-y
I wish that I could play guitar!
Granted, you can play your least favourite song and that's it.
I wish I knew when games are coming out exactly
Granted, but Valve hires a hitman to kill you because you knew of Half-Life 3's release date. Additionally, everyone who you told about HL3's release (if you told them) were also killed.
I wish Valve would turn Team Fortress 2 into a Call of Duty clone for a day and call it an April Fools joke.
Granted, but it's delayed and comes out in May instead and never goes back to normal.
I wish I had more motivation to write.
Granted, you become the most well-known and talented MLP and furry fanfic writer their respective communities have ever seen. One day you are kidnapped by a group of MLP fans and furfags, then raped in every orifice. You die of aids in the months following your surgery to have the pony tail shoved up your asshole removed.
I wish world governments would take steps to realize the potential of nuclear energy technologies, and develop proposed sixth-generation technologies such as the LFTR.
Granted, but they don't bother to train their staff properly so it all goes tits up anyway and results in more explosions than there are in a Michael Bay movie and after the disaster the UN bans nuclear power forever!
I wish I didn't have to go to school today
Granted, but you now have terminal illness.
I wish I was rich and famous.
Granted, the middle class and low class join forces and burn your home and kill you off with pitchforks and torches.
I wish I had a new cellphone.
Granted! You got a new one, but it is an old model. It weighs 150 kilograms and costs $400,000 dollars to operate for 12 seconds. It also makes you look like a total jackass!
I wish for some boneless hot wings.
Granted! However they're not really all that hot. Also Salmonella. And they're from McDonalds.
I wish to live in the locations of my choice, in a physically healthy, uninjured, and apparently normal version of my current body containing my current mental state, a body which will heal from all injuries at a rate three sigmas faster than the average given the medical technology available to me, and which will be protected from any diseases, injuries or illnesses causing disability, pain, or degraded functionality or any sense, organ, or bodily function for more than ten days consecutively or fifteen days in any year; at any time I may rejuvenate my body to a younger age, by saying a phrase matching this pattern five times without interruption, and with conscious intent: 'I wish to be age,’ followed by a number between one and two hundred, followed by ‘years old,’ at which point the pattern ends - after saying a phrase matching that pattern, my body will revert to an age matching the number of years I stated and I will commence to age normally from that stage, with all of my memories intact.
granted but one day you accidentally mutter "i wish to be age zero" and you revert to a neonatal form from which you expire being both unable to breathe as each breath you take in scorches your tiny lungs and your vocal cords do not exist yet. thus you die as you were born
i wish i had a giant robot like megas
Granted but it's paralyzed.
I wish i was the shark that ate my fish.
Granted. It's been way too long since I had shark fin soup anyways.
I wish Pistols for Pandas was a real charitable organiztion.
Granted, all the pandas have pistols to defend themseleves.
I wish I was a hero.
Granted, but you're paralyzed.
I wish i was paralyzed too.
Granted. Now I shall place you in this trash compactor...
I wish I got B's or higher in my classes for this last semester.
Granted, you received straight Q's. Later in the alphabet is higher right?
I wish my TV wasn't busted.
granted,however it disintegrates soon after rendering instead of busted completly erased from existance
I wish I wouldnt have to hand in an English project tommorrow
Granted, you are struck with crippling aphasia and can no longer be reasonably expected to hand in any written work. Now you have to act out your project with puppets.
I wish I was techno viking.
Granted, you're on youtube and mocked by the people of the internet.
I wish I was in a novel.
Granted, it's slash-fiction so you spend the entire novel in a sex sandwich with Prince Adam and Man-E-Faces from He-Man.
I wish I owned my own Starship Enterprise.
Granted but it's a limited edition Star-ship Enterprise shaped dildo your mother bought online
I wish i could not burn my pizza all the time
Granted, you now freeze it all the time.
I wish I had all the time in the world to play bootleg games.
Granted, but that is physically all you can do so you eventually die of dehydration and starvation unable to do anything about it
I wish I was amazing at country strike
Granted. You were so good at the game everyone would votekick you because they mistook your skill for hacks
I wish there was a cure for insanity.
Granted. All those who received the cure are mentally stable, but side effects include severe genital lacerations and puking shit on regular intervals.
I wish for a badass trenchcoat, fedora and .44 magnum combo.
[QUOTE=Jebediah;43174087]Granted. All those who received the cure are mentally stable, but side effects include severe genital lacerations and puking shit on regular intervals.
I wish for a badass trenchcoat, fedora and .44 magnum combo.[/QUOTE]
Granted, but you are soon arrested by the cops for wearing nothing but a fedora and trenchcoat, and for having a weapon without a license. They assumed you were a pedophile/murderer.
I wish for nothing.
Granted: You get Nothing, which is the name of a new virus being spread around the world, reducing them into mindless idiots. Have fun!
I wish that I could be more productive, and stop procrastinating
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