Granted. You see that some horrible, cosmic force is creeping in from the edge of the observable universe and will likely reach the Milky Way Galaxy in a meager 652 million years. You will be alive until that time and be unable to stop it.
I wish I knew what to wish for.
Granted, you have two sets of genitals now.
I wish i had a handgun with endless ammo.
Granted, but all the ammo is made of plastic.
I wish for a Pip-boy.
Granted: you manage to get one, however, the second you do so, World War 3 starts, with everyone launching nukes everywhere, killing you for you weren't in a vault
I wish I could be a master animator.
Granted but you become really afraid everyone will judge you so you never show off your work.
I wish I could remove mosquito and flies from existence by waving my hand over them
[QUOTE=IncogMouse;43063830]Granted but you become really afraid everyone will judge you so you never show off your work.
I wish I could remove mosquito and flies from existence by waving my hand over them[/QUOTE]
Granted, but you can only do it when they are eating you.
I wish I could have a rifle
rifle barrel is bent!
i wish for phone!
Granted, but the only person you can call is an overtly opinionated conservative introvert, who with little objective balance can only maintain conversation involving Jesus Christ and how awful they believe Obama is as a president of the United States.
I wish for a functional, full-scale recreation of the [URL="http://planetes.wikia.com/wiki/Toy_Box"]ToyBox[/URL] of Planetes, in brand-new condition and ready to perform it's intended function. It should be fully fueled and can dock at a free-to-use service station in low Earth orbit, which is in turn regularly resupplied, re-crewed, and serviced by surface launches. From this an orbital debris collection and salvage service begins, wherein I become a bajillionaire off of international contracts and use my money to improve the quality and turnout of space-programs around the globe.
Granted: The Federation (Ghosts) hijacked it and makes collision couse with Earth.
(I never heard of that Anime, man. Here's a COD reference instead.)
I wish i was in the NFS Most Wanted/Carbon Universe.
Granted, but as you're not the protagonist,you're limited to driving at 30 KM/h in a poorly-modelled car with no inside texture.
I wish for a lasgun
Granted, but it turns out to be a gun-shaped laser pointer.
I wish I was a better shot so I could get these goddamn fucking squirrels.
Granted: The squirrels now move at a 5 times faster movement rate have fun!
I wish for a salt shotgun.
Granted, but you make the mistake of pointing it at Beatrix Kiddo, who you try to bury alive after unloading it into her chest. A once-fellow one-eyed assassin who believes she could have gone in a more honorable way tricks you with a Black Mamba in a gym bag filled with a million dollars in cash, paralyzing you and leaving you to die a horrible, relatively slow death.
Beatrix, much to everyone's surprise, comes back later and pulls out the only remaining eye of the aforementioned assassin after an epic sword battle in your desert trailer home.
I wish for a Vostok launch platform equipped with a flight-prepped Soyuz space-craft.
Granted, your launch is successful but you get lost in space and must survive off what you have.
I wish for my holidays to start.
Granted, but the holidays, along with the coinciding Steam Sale, only lasts a single day.
I wish Space Hulk's MSRP was 2.99 USD
Granted, however the game crashes every time you play it
I wish for everyone to have a Merry Christmas
Granted, but the Grinch steals Christmas.
I wish for the discovery of fossilized single-cell lifeforms found in subsurface martian sediments, forever transforming humanity's understanding of it's place in the universe.
Granted.
Lethal fungal spores are blasted so far into space that they begin orbiting earth and entering it's atmosphere.
All of humanity is wiped out in a matter of days by the spores.
I wish for gumbo
Granted, it's soylent gumbo and is made primarily from your favourite teacher from high school. Maybe the sexy one you had a thing for, and even though you knew she was your teacher and it was probably in your head you still always suspected that she might have been up for it. You know what I mean. Anyway, she's dead and you ate her.
I wish Christmas was over.
!!1111!GIMMOK IS GOD OF FAST THREADS ALL WILL BOW BEFORE ME AND SAY HORSERADISH!!!11111
I guess I'll have to regrant Mazer's wish then...
Granted, yet the thousands of children in the world are devastated at the fact that they never got their presents, and the Christmas decorations had barely even been displayed for a day, and the Christmas feast that they had all been looking foward to has been crushed. Strangely enough, the Steam Holiday Sales are going on, for Kwanza and Haunukah Valve claims.
I wish that I was one of the Joker's henchman from the Batman universe.
but like all henchmen when the good guy shows up, you for no real reason cannot beat him and you end up face planting into a vat of acid and die
I wish I was my avatar
Granted, but you are sued by Nintendo and caged inside a giant pokeball like structure.
I wish for more imagination.
[video=youtube;zAT9o4UxIZQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAT9o4UxIZQ[/video]
I wish I was a better poster.
Granted: You are now a literal poster. A poster from Playboy magazine noless. Have fun being stained in cum!
I wish that I had one of those newfangled drawing tablets for the computer
granted, but its magical and everything drawn on it it is brought to life and instantly wants to murder its creator, after a few adventures you eventually box it up deeming it too dangerous for the world, you live a happy life, get married and have a kid, then one day your kid discovesr the tablet and he/she draws on it and is murdered, grief struck you try to draw your kid back to life, and you succeed but at the cost of knowing it is a fake, and being paranoid for the rest of your life knowing that your kid exists only to kill you
i wish stargates were real, so we could go to other planets easily
Granted, Each planet that you're in has unspeakable horrors within.
I wish for a new laptop.
granted but you ignore the geeksquad guys on the way best buy and they start shambeling after you soon you arrive at your dwelling and sit down to power on the machine when you notice a lifeless horde of geek squad guys trying to breach your door so they can destroy your laptop with bloat wear, to satiate them you end up chucking it into the massive horde which then causes them to turn on themselves, fighting to the last man. alas your laptop did not survive the bloatwear and was destroyed
I wish for a sandwich
Granted. The sandwich misses your mouth and goes straight into your eye, forcing you to clean up and mourn your sandwich.
I wish for gumbo
granted but when you go to grab some you slip on a loose shrimp and arms flailing you knock over the gumbo pot which sends searing hot deliciousness straight to your lap.
I wish for robots
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