• The Joke Thread
    179 replies, posted
You guys all have shitty jokes you dumbasses. Joking.
So a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants the bartender says 'hay that looks pretty annoying' the pirate says 'yarr it's drivin' me nuts' yes this is the only joke i know
[QUOTE=SuckaMC]My cousins a jewish person you ass. [/QUOTE] Funny how you defend Jews but won't even capitalize the "j" in "Jewish". On to my main point: A Jew with an erection runs into a wall, what happens? He breaks his nose.
[QUOTE=Leprachuan] What breed of horse can jump higher than a house? None, houses don't jump.[/QUOTE] In that case, ALL horses jump higher than a house.
"Grandma, can I play with your boobs?" "Sure, but don't go too far."
[QUOTE=TAU!]A man and a monkey walk into a bar, I forgot the rest, but your mum is a whore.[/QUOTE] A German, an Irish man and a Scot walk into a bar. The bartender says: "This is gonna be a joke, right?"
What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume! What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome. How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more. What's more fun than feeling up a dead baby? Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it's head. What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off. How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. :ahaw:
You are probably just one of those assholes who goes "Thank god, The Jews would have killed us all if there was not the holocaust" Tell hitler when you die that i said he's a bastard and so are you.
So this guy walked up to a girl [media]http://www.filecram.com/files/399anim.gif[/media] The End.
A midget casually walked up to a sexy blonde and said, "Hey, what do you say to a little fuck ?" "Hello little fuck," she replied. Why do they put a cock on a weather vane? Because if there was a cunt up there, the wind would just blow straight through it.
What kind of room can't you go into? A mushroom. OOOH
A man defended his Jewish cousins on Facepunch. He looked really stupid. The end.
Yeah you can, it is disgusting and stuffed with immigrants, but you can [b]Edit:[/b] fuck :ninja: [b]Edit:[/b] [QUOTE=SuckaMC]My cousins a jewish person you ass. Also enough with the fucking Fallout 3 jokes.[/QUOTE] :wooow:
What's the only positive thing about Somalian woman? HIV
what do you call three french dogs? well? do you know?
What's gayer than a gay French guy? A straight French guy :excited: :excited: Wow, I'm extremely funny today :q:
What no one liked my dead baby jokes?
Pope is riding in the back of a limo and never driven before.He ask the driver for him to drive and he goes 90+ MPH.The cops pulls him over and sees who it is.He calls his boss and he says "Sir,I just pulled over someone and he's a really important person." "Is it the mayor?" "No." "Is it the governor?" "No." "Is it the president?" "No." "Then who is it?" "I don't know but whoever he is he must be really important because he has the Pope driving for him."
One day a man was sitting with his wife watching TV. They both were sitting there eating nuts, the man then tells his wife that he can stick a nut in his ear very far and get it out. So, he sticks the nut in his ear but it gets stuck. They tried everything they could to get it out but it didn't work. Shortly before going to the hospital, the man's daughter walks in with her boyfriend from a long date. The daughter's boyfriend asks where they're going and the man explains the situation. The boyfriend then exclaims to the father that he knows what to do in such a situation, he tells the father to sit down and relax. The boyfriend then sticks two fingers up the father's nose and tells him to breathe out as hard as he can. The father then breathes out and then pops out the nut from his ear! The wife looks at the father and says "You know, he's a very smart boy. What do you think he'll be when he grows up?" the father then replies "Well, by the smell of his fingers; our son-in-law."
What's the difference between a pedophile and acne? [sp]The latter waits until you're thirteen to come on your face.[/sp] What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? [sp]Before the First Period.[/sp]
How much does corn cost for pirates? A buck an ear! Wow. Sorry.
So a man walks into a bar and says "Pint of energy please" Bartender replies, "Sure! That'll be Eighty P!" (AS-Biology Level)
Two pretzels were walking down the street. One of them was [i]assaulted![/i]
Your mama is so fat she weights 400 pounds. And she's not very tall.
that was terrible. ya mum's so fat shes 10 feet tall laying on her back
A man walks into a bar, he sees a sign pointing at a donkey saying "Make me laugh and win the pot of money". He pays the fee, whispers something into the donkey's ear, and the donkey breaks out laughing. With the money he won, he buys the entire bar a drink. The man comes back again, and there's another sign pointing to the same donkey saying "Make me cry and win the pot of money". So the man pays the fee again, and takes three photo prints out of his pocket and lines them up and shows them to the donkey. The donkey runs out of the bar crying. The man buys the entire bar a drink again, and the bartender asks the man what he did. The man replies "The first time I told him mine was bigger than his, the second time I proved him wrong."
A horse walks into the bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply because horses are incapable of communicating with humans. Animal Control was soon called and the horse was taken away, most likely being processed into glue at some point.
QANTAS :v:
2 bars walk into a man and... Wait what?
[img]http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c82/cegrocks/1224242002125.jpg?t=1227536784[/img] Sorry I had to.
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