[QUOTE=Aries;31128999]My girlfriend gave me a lift home. One thing led to another and I accidentally jizzed in her mum's car.
the worst part of the experience was that for some reason there were tissues underneath the front seat.[/QUOTE]
Tell me more.
I was driving my car on a highway, and my gf was giving me a blowjob. This huge truck merges in front of me violently, and she bites down. She bit my dick off. I proceeded to drive off of the highway, into a McDonalds
Two girls in my former class. They were incredibly pretty/hot and if I'm going to be honest, yes, I was attracted to them. Both had boyfriends, so I never tried to flirt etc. They were usually the ones starting a conversation with me, just asking about everyday things. Which I was okay with, and we often had long chats. Though as time went by they also started asking more person al things, to the point where it was rather embarrassing for me. They obviously knew this made me uncomfortable, and when I said I didn't want to talk about it, they just kept asking till I eventually gave in. I hated it but at the same time I still liked to talk to them. Though if they pushed it too far they'd say sorry and give me a hug, which I didn't mind :smug:
[QUOTE=Carne;31142946]Two girls in my former class. They were incredibly pretty/hot and if I'm going to be honest, yes, I was attracted to them. Both had boyfriends, so I never tried to flirt etc. They were usually the ones starting a conversation with me, just asking about everyday things. Which I was okay with, and we often had long chats. Though as time went by they also started asking more person al things, to the point where it was rather embarrassing for me. They obviously knew this made me uncomfortable, and when I said I didn't want to talk about it, they just kept asking till I eventually gave in. I hated it but at the same time I still liked to talk to them. Though if they pushed it too far they'd say sorry and give me a hug, which I didn't mind :smug:[/QUOTE]
A true Facepuncher:
Girls hit on you
Be awkward, be content with just hugs
There was this girl back when I was in elementary school, (she used to live in my neighborhood) we would sit on the bus together and talk. She would bring her game boy advance and we would play it, when the DS came out we bought it and we played nintendogs together, then one day I told her I had a suprise for her, I told her to close her eyes and look straight forward, she did this, of course. And I kissed her on the cheek, she blushed deeply and she did the same to me. I knew she liked me. then I saw this girl (who also lives in my neighborhood) and I wanted her. So I gave the bus girl the news and she was sad, but I told her we would still be friends.
Then I started talking to the other girl and she didn't like me as I liked her.
9 years later I still feel guilt for leaving her for someone who doesn't like me back, I remember her name, I tried looking her up on Facebook.
Nothing.
Feels bad man.
[url]http://www.myspace.com/278021181[/url]
This is the only information I've gotten about her, it's her myspace and she hasn't been on it in a year.
The girl giving me a blowjob had braces. OW OW OW
When I was like 4 or 5 years old, I was in my backyard tossing a baseball up in the air and swinging at it when it came down. One of my neighbors walked up behind me as I was doing that and she got hit square in the forehead with the bat. There was blood, tears, and an ambulance. Her parents didn't let me near her or her near me after that accident until they moved away about 2 years ago. I still saw her around in highschool during that time, she was really nice and looked pretty damn good, but her parents still held a grudge against me for that incident.
Ah, clumsiness :smith:
[QUOTE=kwk;31141533]Tell me more.[/QUOTE]
fuck off, creep
although blowjobs at school are [B]amazing[/B]
[QUOTE=Hardpoint Nomad;31143936]There was this girl back when I was in elementary school, (she used to live in my neighborhood) we would sit on the bus together and talk. She would bring her game boy advance and we would play it, when the DS came out we bought it and we played nintendogs together, then one day I told her I had a suprise for her, I told her to close her eyes and look straight forward, she did this, of course. And I kissed her on the cheek, she blushed deeply and she did the same to me. I knew she liked me. then I saw this girl (who also lives in my neighborhood) and I wanted her. So I gave the bus girl the news and she was sad, but I told her we would still be friends.
Then I started talking to the other girl and she didn't like me as I liked her.
9 years later I still feel guilt for leaving her for someone who doesn't like me back, I remember her name, I tried looking her up on Facebook.
Nothing.
Feels bad man.[/QUOTE]
I did some searching, and found her Myspace. Although she hasn't been on it in about a year, I also searched Facebook, nothing.
Feels worse man.
Well you see, my urethra....
I once got laid with a girl that had to feel pain to have a orgasm,
she asked me to beat her, then I gave her some small slaps, she asked to beat her harder, then I closed my fist and gave her some small punches, as I didn't want to hurt her, she kept saying to hit her harder and started screaming at me to do so
So I gave her a punch on the face and she got knocked out
ITT: Jealous people rating dumb and social awkwardness.
[editline]16th July 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Aries;31144700][b]fuck off, creep [/b]
although blowjobs at school are [B]amazing[/B][/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Aries;31128999]My girlfriend gave me a lift home. One thing led to another and I accidentally jizzed in her mum's car.[/QUOTE]
Yes, [b]I[/b] am the creep.
the joke
your head
EDIT:
Good comeback, rate me dumb all you like.
a girl? whats that
[QUOTE=BaCkStAbEr;31145905]I once got laid with a girl that had to feel pain to have a orgasm,
she asked me to beat her, then I gave her some small slaps, she asked to beat her harder, then I closed my fist and gave her some small punches, as I didn't want to hurt her, she kept saying to hit her harder and started screaming at me to do so
So I gave her a punch on the face and she got knocked out[/QUOTE] that sounds like a good experience to me
[editline]16th July 2011[/editline]
but you wasted it
When I was 15, this happened. I thought it would be funny to post it in the LMAO pics but apparently they all think I'm braggin or some shit but I'm not braggin :( I thought it would be a funny story to share :(
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/Valborg_chaos1.png[/img]
After this I got to know she was from Stockholm so I left the place.
[QUOTE=mikeyt493;31153427]that sounds like a good experience to me
[editline]16th July 2011[/editline]
but you wasted it[/QUOTE]
The worst moment was when I left the motel, both of us had that awkward face and her face had a huge lump and had some purple and red marks, the hotel guy ended up calling the police and you can imagine how awkward it was to explain it to the police
[QUOTE=BaCkStAbEr;31155963]The worst moment was when I left the motel, both of us had that awkward face and her face had a huge lump and had some purple and red marks, the hotel guy ended up calling the police and you can imagine how awkward it was to explain it to the police[/QUOTE]
Holy shit, I thought you were kidding :v:
[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;31105010]I asked a girl for the time once and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and screamed at my face for how I looked.
[img]http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/267863_239020792786458_100000356179478_842228_3881984_n.jpg[/img]
I didn't know I was THAT ugly. :smith:[/QUOTE]
GOD get rid of that moustache, you look like a pedophile.
Liked a girl for five years. She's going out with my he's friend this whole time. They break up. I tell her I like her, she says she likes me but we can't so anything because of my friend. When he finds out he gets pissed and we don't talk for two months because neither of us would apologize. She then tells me she lied and never liked me. She was just trying to make herself feel better about the breakup. We drift apart, my friend realizes he overreacted and I realized it was a bit of a betrayal, stronger relationship than ever.
Haven't talked to her in 7 months.
One of the whore girls at my school was asking the question "Would you fuck me" to every guy in sight. She came up to me and asked the question and I replied with no. She the asked why and I said:
"Because I don't know you, I don't know your personality, I don't know what you like, I don't know if you're a dickgirl..."
Went downhill from there.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;31169405]One of the whore girls at my school was asking the question "Would you fuck me" to every guy in sight. She came up to me and asked the question and I replied with no. She the asked why and I said:
"Because I don't know you, I don't know your personality, I don't know what you like, I don't know if you're a dickgirl..."
Went downhill from there.[/QUOTE]
Should've played it cool, not getting all deep'n shit. Dicks are deep.
[QUOTE=GoDong-DK;31169628]Should've played it cool, not getting all deep'n shit. Dicks are deep.[/QUOTE]
Vaginas are deeper, man. Anuses and colons much moreso.
Not the worst, but funniest. I was walking through a primary school (don't ask why) and all the little kids were lining up for class. I was wearing shorts, and for some unknown reason I've got the hairiest damn legs (and I'm not even wog!) This little girl's standing there, at about thigh-height, when she suddenly turns and sees my legs. Look on her face was priceless - you would have thought like two furry Satans were coming at her.
[editline]17th July 2011[/editline]
you had to be there alright
[QUOTE=GeneralFredrik;31153946]When I was 15, this happened. I thought it would be funny to post it in the LMAO pics but apparently they all think I'm braggin or some shit but I'm not braggin :( I thought it would be a funny story to share :(
[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/Valborg_chaos1.png[/img]
After this I got to know she was from Stockholm so I left the place.[/QUOTE]
Fixed her up for ya'
[img]http://img97.imageshack.us/img97/4697/fixedg.png[/img]
Drunk sex with a girl, she goes to give me a blow job and didn't fucking open her mouth properly. How could I tell from my laying down position? Her fucking teeth were more or less raking the shaft of my dick the whole 1 minute she did it (thank god it was only a minute).
I was just laying there mumbling "Take it like a man...take it like a man...you don't know when you'll get laid next...you'll don't know when you'll get laid next..."
Good thing I actually got to fuck her in the end.
6 months of pure awkwardness and no physical contact. Id quite like to relive or erase that part of my life.
[QUOTE=Dominic0904;31171209]Drunk sex with a girl, she goes to give me a blow job and didn't fucking open her mouth properly. How could I tell from my laying down position? Her fucking teeth were more or less raking the shaft of my dick the whole 1 minute she did it (thank god it was only a minute).
I was just laying there mumbling "Take it like a man...take it like a man...you don't know when you'll get laid next...you'll don't know when you'll get laid next..."
Good thing I actually got to fuck her in the end.[/QUOTE]
You fucked a drunk girl? Real classy.
A really nice girl... She friend zoned me...
[editline]17th July 2011[/editline]
:suicide:
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