• Lies your parents told you
    194 replies, posted
[QUOTE=carcarcargo;32912243]Why is every fucking child beautiful to their parents?[/QUOTE] Only to mothers. Childbirth makes their eyeballs go all funny and squishy or something There's been reported cases of women eyeballs flying out after squeezing too hard
That all boys have a penis that's the same shape as mine :smith:
economics
[QUOTE=RobL;32912008]I loved Robot Wars when I was younger and my dad said he was building a robot in work for me and we'd go on the show when it was finished. I asked him nearly every day "When will it be finished?" or "Can I come and see it?" and every time he said "Oh it won't take much longer" So I waited. I WAITED FOR 2 AND A HALF FUCKING YEARS!!! until one day he basically says to me "Lol I lied" What a troll.[/QUOTE] I LOVED Robot Wars. I remember asking my dad to build one with me, but he always said no.
"The Lord won't let that happen."
Pretty much just Santa Clause, but I thank them for that. I believed there was a jolly man in the sky who went around giving absolutely everybody in the world presents. I thought that was the coolest thing ever. Also religion if that counts, but I've told them I'm now an Atheist and they're cool with that. And since they believe christianity is true it kinda doesn't count as a lie.
"You are special." Pffft.
Hmm.. The usual shit about santa and the tooth fairy. Otherwise they have been pretty honest to me.
I love having atheist parents
My dad said he was running in some grass at night playing flashlight tag when he ran into a patch of cacti and got 200+ needles in him. I believed it until I asked his mom and she said he likes to stretch the truth a lot.
"Obama is a Muslim" That's what my mom said a few days ago.
My told me that the reason my father couldn't come get me for a day was because he blew out a tire. Little did she know I could hear her talk on the phone to him, and the reason he couldn't come get me is because he didn't want to. :c
She told me a film called [I]The Parole Officer[/I] was a horror so I shouldn't watch it in case I got scared, when in fact it was one of the funniest film's I'd ever seen. I think she lied because there were boobs in the film and she didn't want me to see them when I was still five. Also, both my parents said "It's not that bad" when an iron landed on my face. Granted, the scars are gone now, but I had a fuckton of stitches. On the opposite end of the spectrum, my mum freaked out and told me my bleeding thumb was really badly cut when in fact I was pretty calm about it, though how bad it was is kinda debatable. Looking at the remaining scar, it would seem I gouged a good chunk out of it, so I don't know.
[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;32911833]My parents just told me straight up how babies were made from the day I asked when I was 8.[/QUOTE] Your parents have the right idea.
They told me I would make friends in kindergarten.
Me, well they said my grandpa was poor and he was rich as fuck Also, Obama is a good president. (To be honest I'm not sure.)
That someone will love me.
That they would get me a bunny eventually, I love bunnies.
"you're not adopted"
That i would get grounded if i played an M rated game when i was 8. Pssh, that next day i grabbed Quake from my dad's office and installed it on my computer, and my dad walked in later and was all "Sweet, playing Quake?"
"This will hurt me more than it hurts you." But really just the basic stuff like santa/tooth fairy/whatever
life sucks then you die
That I am pretty and that I have a beautiful voice. BULLSHIT! I have a face looking like a pizza and my voice is so thick it sounds like I have a cock down my throat.
when i was around 5 i asked my mom "what is a pad?" then she answered "when women laugh when talking on the phone, they may pee a little" can't believe i fell for that
"No, we're really alright. Nothing is going to change that."
That I could be anyone I wanted, at the age of sixteen i have accomplished nothing.
my fucking mom told me that carrots tasted like candy; they didn't
"you're not adopted!"
[QUOTE=themodtester;32913994]That they would get me a bunny eventually, I love bunnies.[/QUOTE] I have a rabbit. They are not good pets, they don't become attached to humans.
[QUOTE=lolerot95;32914385]That I could be anyone I wanted, [B]at the age of sixteen[/B] i have accomplished nothing.[/QUOTE] Well, there's your problem. Go to college, and join some clubs. I am 18 and so far I have: Worked as a Camp Leader at a cub scout camp. Developed a few games. Won a few robotics competitions. Learned to play guitar. managed to squeeze into college at age 17. If you want to be someone, or to accomplish something, you just have to go out there and do it. Even if you initially suck, like I did, you just have to dedicate yourself to what you wish to do, and you'll eventually start going places. Sorry for the mini-rant/speech/useless text that will be skimmed over, just had to get it off my chest. Also, my parents (mostly my mom) lied to me about my parent's relationship for years. From what I can glean from my mom, she'll split from my dad when I move out.
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