Lies your parents told you - General

The disappearing thumb trick worked on me for very long.. Mostly because I saw a guy who really had lost his left hand's thumb and do this with a plastic thumb and hold it in his right hand. Mind went blank for full minutes.

Marijuana is more addictive than cigarettes and Heroin combined, and it kills you after one hit.

[QUOTE=Checkers;32918164]Christians are idiots[/QUOTE] You don't have to believe in religion, but it fucking pisses me off when people say shit like "christians are idiots" with no fucking reason, so stop being a troll. Most Christians are ok with atheists, but all atheists that I have spoken with insist that I am stupid for being Christian. Don't get me wrong, I am ok with atheism, I just don't see how the world would even exist without some kind of overlord.

"We're your real parents."

[QUOTE=ossumsauce;32916763]My parents played out Santa almost TOO much. We fucking laid out carrots for the reindeer. I was surprisingly cool with it when i found out, more cookies for me.[/QUOTE] We always left santa a shot of burbon or whiskey in addition to the cookies and milk. [editline]23rd October 2011[/editline] I started it because "Santa must have one helluva night" I was the best ten year old

[QUOTE=Blue Meanie;32919127]You don't have to believe in religion, but it fucking pisses me off when people say shit like "christians are idiots" with no fucking reason, so stop being a troll. Most Christians are ok with atheists, but all atheists that I have spoken with insist that I am stupid for being Christian. Don't get me wrong, I am ok with atheism, I just don't see how the world would even exist without some kind of overlord.[/QUOTE] do you know what thread you are in

Sweetie, me and dad will always stay together. BS. Less than 2 months they separated and divorced.. "Mom, please say we won't move away, I like it here." "Of course we won't Otto." Was like 5-6, left the only place where I had friends :(

"It's whats on the inside that counts"

[QUOTE=Snake7;32919342]"It's whats on the inside that counts"[/QUOTE] That one isn't the lie. They said dick size counts.

You guys talking about not using cursive are lucky fuckers, I learnt it so early it's the only thing I can write in. Now nobody can read my handwriting because it's both the bad parts of fancy writing and the bad parts of scruffy.

"Your brother will wake up, I promise."

When I was little my mom told me that if I keep making a face, it would get stuck like that. I believed that shit until earlier this year.

My parents can't decide whether it was my mom or my dad that dropped me as a baby. WHICH ONE OF YOU BASTARDS GAVE ME THIS SCAR ON MY EYEBROW!?

They told me ribs grow back. [sp]no they don't[/sp] [QUOTE=inebriaticxp;32918709]Marijuana is more addictive than cigarettes and Heroin combined, and it kills you after one hit.[/QUOTE] I wonder how they "know" that it's more addictive if you die after trying it.

Santa.

"Son, women don't pee."

Sometimes cameras will take pictures by themselves, and it's quite common for random photos of things to show up on your role of film of people and stuff. I asked when there was a picture of my brother from high up and I couldn't work out how someone had gotten so high. But it was that damned camera all along!

When I was staying in France my mum told me that frogslegs were just chicken nuggets

frogs legs are a lot better than chicken nuggets

[QUOTE=pixskull;32919805]If you swallow an apple pip an apple tree will grow inside of you.[/QUOTE] I believed this for 5 bloody years

Santa. And that black and white wasn't a suitable game for a 12 year old, they gave a load of excuses but it turned out that it was not because of violence or anything but because It gave differing viewpoints of Gods. (I ninjad and installed it anyway and loved it) (Did black and white sell poorly in india because you can slap a cow? we might never know.) Anyway, I always found it odd that it was the one game I was barred access to when my parents are pretty much agnostic.

[QUOTE=sonny99;32915901]"We don't pick favorites"[/QUOTE] Apparently I was the favorite in my family. I feel fucking horrible about that.

One is that they told me there was this competition where you got some sheep, lined them up and pushed them down hills and it was called sheep rolling, whoever got theirs the furthest won, I believed that till I was round 11 maybe.

I'm second favourite. Might make sence since I'm the middle child. But I feel really bad for my brother, who takes all the shit. My sister (Youngest in family) loves to see us suffer and get all the stuff she wants. I want a new PSU and Processor so I can use my comp without these anyoing bugs. [b]NO[/b] She wants a new bike, some candy, and shopping. [b]Of course sweetie[/b] ...

I never really believed in Santa, but I still left out cookies and stuff. (And some cheese sticks, too!) I knew my parents ate them and I thought if I left more out I'd get more presents... :v: Which I did a small "study" and years that I left cookies out compared to years I left out more then normal, I did get a few more presents. Didn't really believe in the tooth fairy either, nor the Easter bunny or any of those other holiday entities So my parents never really lied to me about much. If someone/something died, they would tell me flat-out. Aside from crying (which I would've anyways if they said "better place" or "ran away") I took most of it pretty well. They left me to learn about the birds and the bees myself, since they knew I had internet access, I would find out eventually.

"We'll sort it out soon" IT'S BEEN 5 FUCKING YEARS

"you're not fat" Im a fat motherfucker, everyone can see that

"You're a good person" BULLSHIT

They said i would grow a penis when i became 10 years old they lied..

"I moved across the country without you because people threatened to kill you if I didn't"