• Lies your parents told you
    194 replies, posted
That they would take my hamster to the vet to put it to sleep. Found out two years ago that they had put it in a bag and smashed it against a wall. "You seriously didn't think we would spend that much money on a little hamster did you?" :(
[QUOTE=SuperDuperScoot;32920991]I never really believed in Santa, but I still left out cookies and stuff. (And some cheese sticks, too!) I knew my parents ate them and I thought if I left more out I'd get more presents... :v: Which I did a small "study" and years that I left cookies out compared to years I left out more then normal, I did get a few more presents. Didn't really believe in the tooth fairy either, nor the Easter bunny or any of those other holiday entities So my parents never really lied to me about much. If someone/something died, they would tell me flat-out. Aside from crying (which I would've anyways if they said "better place" or "ran away") I took most of it pretty well. They left me to learn about the birds and the bees myself, since they knew I had internet access, I would find out eventually.[/QUOTE] I only really believed in Santa when I was under the age of 6, it didn't take too much effort to notice that my mum's handwriting was oddly similar to that on the presents. Any others holiday-ish characters.. nope. We've had a lot of pets die, be put down or simply run away over the years, and I bawled my eyes out every time. I could see that they were dead or gone and we sometimes knew it was coming so my parents didn't bother lying to me about it. My parents don't often lie to me, really, but I often figure it out soon enough when they do.
I thought--when I was a kid--the guard licked the cheek to check if Sarah was faking to be silent, the guard was expecting Sarah to be grossed out and react. Goddamn my naive head.
never do drugs... they smoked weed at my age... hypocrites...
That santy clause and the tooth fairy existed.Thank god they never blabbered me about religion.
That Santa got struck by lightning. Two lies in one..
My parents told me that one day, if I made my bed every day then one day the bed covers would turn into money. Yeah, I did it one day I found (I was 14) a picture of my girlfriend and some other dude getting blown. This ruined my life.
[QUOTE=julmust;32921494]That they would take my hamster to the vet to put it to sleep. Found out two years ago that they had put it in a bag and smashed it against a wall. "You seriously didn't think we would spend that much money on a little hamster did you?" :([/QUOTE] :c
My parents never told me they were getting a divorce. They sat me down and told me my dads off to stay at a friends for the weekend, I was 8 at the time so I thought nothing of it. Weekend turned into weeks and that turned into months. I kept asking are you two divorced and they kept saying no for years until I was like 12 or 13 I asked again and they said yeah we're divorced. I felt stupid that I believed them and I wished they was straight up with me instead of lying.
that life is precious or worth anything (hint: it isnt)
Religion and shit. I mean my parents arn't christians or anything its just they almost made me believe in a god. I never really wanted to, cause when i was like, 10, i was mercilessly bullied and i thought "If god loves us so much, how could he let my life be ruined?" So i stopped believing in god, and only recently they found out when i told them in a conversation "Yeah, i'm atheist." They said "No you're not." "Um, yes i am." "NO, YOU'RE NOT." I "WTF" Faced them and left. Really didn't talk to them for a week.
To see a man about a dog. And I'm glad my parents never forced religion or anything like that on me, hell, I didn't even know what religion was until I was 14 years old or something.
My dad tricked me into thinking rabbit droppings were small licorice pieces back in the day. As I proceeded to pick some of it up, he yelled at me "God no, that's disgusting!" as I asked why, he simply replied "It's shit, I didn't think you were that dumb." Thanks, dad. :v:
When I asked my mum what AIDS, she told me that it was something you could get from kissing too many girls. My immediate reaction was, "Wow, James Bond must have lots of aids."
When I was 5, I had a hamster. He died and they told me he moved and left his son there (A white hamster with red eyes that looking nothing like Scruffy.) I found out this year that he died and they bought me another one.
[QUOTE=Maximo13;32925324]When I was 5, I had a hamster. He died and they told me he moved and left his son there (A white hamster with red eyes that looking nothing like Scruffy.) I found out this year that he died and they bought me another one.[/QUOTE] Moved away and left his son there.. You sure they aren't MR. and MRS. Disney?
"You won't suffer from panic disorder forever..."
as it turns out toilet goblins that feed on poop don't exist
I was also told when I was little that if I didn't get out of the bath fast enough when he pulled the plug that the plug-whole monster would slurp me down. I sprinted like a naked boss child across the house to my room
"God is real."
[QUOTE=masterchief6;32922162]never do drugs... they smoked weed at my age... hypocrites...[/QUOTE] Its not hypocritical, they probably thought that it wasnt good that they did it at that age.
"I love you, etc etc etc" - Mom
I swear to god, if I read one more sob story like "My mother told me she loved me" or "She told me I'm her real son" I will analy rape a tortoise.
That boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.
"Don't even think of that, honey, of course your father and I aren't getting divorced."
[QUOTE=julmust;32921494]That they would take my hamster to the vet to put it to sleep. Found out two years ago that they had put it in a bag and smashed it against a wall. "You seriously didn't think we would spend that much money on a little hamster did you?" :([/QUOTE] I gasped out loud when I read that
My dad told me for years that when he left in the middle of the day, he was going to "make copies" of papers or "take out the trash". It turns out that many of those times, he was going out to spend time with my now stepmother.
"You're a brilliant child" I'm average, and it hurts to admit it.
"You can be whatever you want!" I'M STILL NOT A BEAR WITH A JETPACK THAT SHOOTS PISS LAZERS >:C
That eating carrots would make me whistle like a pro. Then again...I whistle pretty fucking loud and clear now...but it can't be.
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