• Lies your parents told you
    194 replies, posted
"Son, you're seriously fat" I'm a pretty skinny guy. Always have been except 8th grade.
[QUOTE=UntouchedShadow;32934964]That eating carrots would make me whistle like a pro. Then again...I whistle pretty fucking loud and clear now...but it can't be.[/QUOTE] Dude, you must be thankful for that I didn't like carrots when I was a kid, and now I can't whistle at all
Dad: Okay. You'll get a computer for your birthday. Me: Yay! *5 months later* Dad: And that's all with that. Let's have some cake! Me is really sad because he didn't buy a computer
[QUOTE=Confuzzed Otto;32935781]Dad: Okay. You'll get a computer for your birthday. Me: Yay! *5 months later* Dad: And that's all with that. Let's have some cake! Me is really sad because he didn't buy a computer[/QUOTE] Pretty much this for the last two years. I have a hard time saving up money too.
[QUOTE=DeandreT;32936773]Pretty much this for the last two years. I have a hard time saving up money too.[/QUOTE] Instead of buying a title on Facepunch you could've used that money for a new PSU or something :v:
they say im not lazy. or that i dont use the internet too much. [B]bitch please![/B]
That if you whistle much, the house will burn down. WE FUCKING WHISTLED FOR MANY FUKING HOURS AND NOTHING HAPPENED!
"Oh don't worry, we are not mad". I called bullshit on that one, and I was like 15.
"we'll keep your old teddybears in the loft" 3 months later i find them sitting in a local skip near the shops...
That if you swallowed a gum, you would blow a bubble every time you hiccuped.
Oh and once i remember loosing my tooth and saying mom ''mommy i lost my tooth,will tooth fairy give me money now'' On which she replied: Tooth fairy is out of money.
Not a parent, but when I was round my aunties house as a kid, she said to pick out a video to watch, I picked out independence day but she obviously felt I was too young to watch it, so she told me it was a "boring film about politics". It was years later that I saw an advert for it on TV and discovered how badly she fucking played me.
Well this one isn't my Mom and Dad but my Aunt was babysitting me when I was below 10 (I don't remember the exact age) "Don't worry Christian, you'll love the movie [i]Candyman[/i]!" I did not love the movie [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candyman_%28film%29]Candyman.[/url]
but sure u love cristina aguilera's song
The fuckers told me that babies were from Chicago bullshit, they're from Philadelphia and they know it
your dad went to jail for what he did we aren't thinking of divorce what are you talking about no I don't smoke
Not something ive been told but i hope its as valid. My dad doesnt tell my 7 year old brother that our grandpa is dead. He died few years ago but he thinks he just lives abroad. I feel bad for him...
[QUOTE=TehWoodPcker;32942793]Not something ive been told but i hope its as valid. My dad doesnt tell my 7 year old brother that our grandpa is dead. He died few years ago but he thinks he just lives abroad. I feel bad for him...[/QUOTE] You tell him the truth. He deserves to know. I was one of these kids that didn't know (the Dutch version of) santa wasn't real until my parents told me. When they did tell me, I was clever enough to make the link between santa and religion. Within a few days after they told me santa is "an adult secret", I said well in that case Jesus must be an adult secret as well! I'm proud of the younger me.
That you get square shaped eyes if you watch too much tv.
I would turn into a lemon if i kept eating lemonheads.
That I wouldn't have to die if I didn't want to.....=(
Whenever my parents got a divorce my mom took my brother and I to move to Missouri from Milwaukee Wisconsin. We had a dog at the house we lived at but my dad was going to have to move since he couldn't afford the house we had lived in. (Oddly he just moved into the slightly smaller apartment above our old house). Anyhow, we couldn't take the dog, and my Dad was never really a fan of him. He didn't hate him, but he was never really a dog person. So when we moved our dog had been gone for a few days. I asked my Dad where he went and my Dad said "He was taken in by a farmer, so he can run around all day and chase sheep". I was 8 at the time. About 4 years ago (Age:21) i was sitting around thinking, and thought of my old dog for no real reason... then suddenly it clicked. I'm pretty sure my Dad had my dog put down since no one would take him. I always forget to ask him.
"You can have a mustache if you want to". Not if it's bat country, woman.
[QUOTE=ossumsauce;32914196]That i would get grounded if i played an M rated game when i was 8. Pssh, that next day i grabbed Quake from my dad's office and installed it on my computer, and my dad walked in later and was all "Sweet, playing Quake?"[/QUOTE] You had your own computer at 8? Mother fucker I got a handmedown at age 12... lucky you.
"We promise you'll get *insert present here* for christmas!" Every, fucking, year. Promises were broken, tears were shed and I immediately GTFO of my parent's house as soon as I got the money.
[QUOTE=FreeHat;32944705]You had your own computer at 8? Mother fucker I got a handmedown at age 12... lucky you.[/QUOTE] Eh, it was a piece of shit that got virus' left and right, and JUST BARELY ran Quake. I'm serious. Still, it was at 8 that i was well and truly introduced to the internet and now i can't leave.
"You're Irish, German, and French." - on Heritage Bloody fucking hell if I am. I don't look Irish at all.
[QUOTE=Extroll;32946672]"You're Irish, German, and French." - on Heritage Bloody fucking hell if I am. I don't look Irish at all.[/QUOTE] Fuck, I'm meant to be part Romani gypsy, of all things. Plus Scottish, plus Irish. Fuck that. Though I will say that I do have very Slavic-looking eyebrows, but I might just be wierdly-haired like that.
[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;32946934]"Ordering anything will put you into bankruptcy".[/QUOTE] That reminds me "Don't order anything online or someone will steal the credit card."
"The birds are just fine, we just released them because they'd be better there." "We buried that puppy that died on birth." "Your hamster is just sleeping, it's okay." "We won't make you lose your hard-worked-on files again, we swear." :C
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