"Honey I don't think it's the dress that makes you look fat"
Things not to say in front of a flight attendant
"Hey babe. My package is the bomb."
This summer's new film, starring MaxofS2D
Mother Fortress; the hotly-awaited prequel to Earthbound Fortress 2!
A genie grants you three wishes; what do you wish for?
I wish that he could grant me more wishes, I wish for more wishes and I wish that nobody else would get three wishes.
Useless superpowers.
I'm Incredibly-Akward-Around-Girls Man!
Gentle ways to tell your Grandma that she's adopted (yes).
"Grandma, I don't think it's the fact that you're caucasian when the rest of us are african is the deal with the microwave."
Useless things to win from Facepunch raffles.
"Congratulations, you've won a lifetime supply of condoms and gym equipment!"
Bad things to say to die-hard conservatives [b]and[/b] cartoon fans.
Man Johnny Test is great.
Horrible things to say around a disabled person.
"If you're going to talk the talk, you need to walk the walk."
Words to not teach your parrot.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXYZttxunPw[/media]
Things you can do to your cat, but not to your dog.
"Ok, we need something to dry this burnoose"
Unlikely people to host a daytime talk show.
[IMG]http://puu.sh/2CeN4[/IMG]
Things you shouldn't tell your teacher.
"That's not true miss. If I wasn't paying any attention at all in class then why would I be having such vivid sex dreams about you?"
Worst ever James Bond movie.
all of them except the first one
things you should never do at a Mexican funeral!
Shout "ETERNAL SIESTA TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME"
Things you shouldn't do when being watched by the police.
Sell drugs to kids while raping a 5 year old.
Worst thread on facepunch?
Calmly discuss your views on politics
Worst name for sonic fan fiction.
Knuckled Down
Invent a lame hallucinogen
"Chocolate ritalin, twice the sweetness, half the high."
Name a porno from the medieval times.
"Thee sword is too large for mine scabbard!"
Bad things a doctor would say during a prostate exam.
You're tighter than my son.
Things you can't do in a waiting room
[QUOTE=Confuzzed Otto;40324931]You're tighter than my son.
Things you can't do in a waiting room[/QUOTE]
replace the magazines with up-to-date ones
worst Disney movie
"Mickey Mouse and the Haunted House 2: Minnie's Boogaloo."
Signs that you should see while on the road.
Truck stop 5 miles; don't use the toilets they're horrible.
Internet celebrities that are hard to distinguish from IRL celebrities.
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