I press Alt + F4, then I delete C:\Windows\System32
Wow nice bump
Anyways
I do mine freestyle.
well I usually just sit on my toilet and let the destruction begin, however sometimes my feces leak out of my nostrils which can be very irritating
I use my ear.
I shit out of my mouth and eat with my anus. It causes real problems around dinner tables.
Huge shitpost incoming guys.
Taking a shit is one of life's little pleasures. No expense must be spared to make this the most comfortable experience possible. I use a little device which grafts together rolls of four ply tissue to make it the most sanitary and cushiony toilet paper possible.
I also installed a little brass piece in the seat so that it heats it when electricity is applied. I use it to heat the seat to keep from the awful feeling of first contact with your rear end, but be sure not to keep the temperature anywhere near thirty seven degrees. The sensation of another person recently sitting on your porcelain throne is bound to ruin the experience entirely.
With the right diet, the byproduct can be used for some great things.
With this method, I managed to build my house:
[IMG]http://img713.imageshack.us/img713/9154/shitn.png[/IMG]
I first ate nothing but junk and dairy products, held in my poo as long as I could so that my large intestine could properly absorb all of the water from my digested food.
[IMG]http://img638.imageshack.us/img638/5418/shit2r.png[/IMG]
The result is a rough, grainy sort of thing which looks much like dirt, but is more structurally sound, has a rectangular shape, and stacks nicely after being sanded down. It can get a little bloody, and some prolapse can occur, so have a little disinfectant and some Iodine laying around.
These can be used for nice little stacks, but for a large scale structure such as a home, a bonding agent is needed.
[IMG]http://img641.imageshack.us/img641/8757/shit3.png[/IMG]
Softer poops make a nice mortar, but to get a truly ideal substance, one must overdose on laxatives and consume flax by the kilogram. On the Bristol Stool Scale, at least a type six is needed for anything over eight feet high.
[IMG]http://img849.imageshack.us/img849/688/shit4.png[/IMG]
Truly impressive structures require strong and durable reinforcement. If you can afford it, steel bars will allow very high buildings and help your faeces stand the test of time. When people ask you to give a shit, they usually don't mean this literally. Don't let requests such as those get in the way of finishing your house on time.
[IMG]http://img857.imageshack.us/img857/6733/shit5.png[/IMG]
Not all poops will be hard or soft enough, or maybe it's simply not convenient or socially acceptable to carry your assmud back to the construction site. Remember there are many creative ways to use your smelly byproduct.
Turdffiti is the most popular form of waste redistribution, and it is on the verge of being recognized as a legitimate art form. Again, the Bristol scale will come in handy when deciding how to make turdffiti. Two and three behave like oil paints, four and five like acrylics and the softest drip like watercolours, but fail to avoid wax and are not absorbed by salts.
Displaying your art at public restrooms you frequent is a good way to get helpful advice and constructive criticism. Don't be afraid to accept criticism and don't get angry at harsh-sounding replies, they are just trying to help you use your excretions to the best of your ability.
[editline]17th December 2011[/editline]
Another thing, people seem to think that urinals make ideal shit containers, but this is false.
Use the sink for absolute victory and awesomeness.
On my lover's chest.
I sit down and get it done.
And thanks editline for not working.
[editline]I'm a freak, I know[/editline]
I superman it.
I grab it out of there and throw that shit on the ground. If it's cold I'll usually roll around in it for warmth.
I shit while squatting down on the seat. It is natural and helps to prevent rectal deseases later on in life. Here is a chart:
[IMG]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b-nTz6OVjdY/TcYZTIfkcPI/AAAAAAAAAos/WDctrpuKk84/s1600/Relax++your+anal+canal.jpg[/IMG]
[QUOTE=Fatfatfatty;30183371]I sit on the toilet and I push the poop out of my arse using muscles inside my rectum.[/QUOTE]
Really? I just punch myself in the gut until the shit spills out.
[QUOTE=Krinkels;33773029]Huge shitpost incoming guys.
Taking a shit is one of life's little pleasures. No expense must be spared to make this the most comfortable experience possible. I use a little device which grafts together rolls of four ply tissue to make it the most sanitary and cushiony toilet paper possible.
I also installed a little brass piece in the seat so that it heats it when electricity is applied. I use it to heat the seat to keep from the awful feeling of first contact with your rear end, but be sure not to keep the temperature anywhere near thirty seven degrees. The sensation of another person recently sitting on your porcelain throne is bound to ruin the experience entirely.
With the right diet, the byproduct can be used for some great things.
With this method, I managed to build my house:
-snip-
I first ate nothing but junk and dairy products, held in my poo as long as I could so that my large intestine could properly absorb all of the water from my digested food.
-snip-
The result is a rough, grainy sort of thing which looks much like dirt, but is more structurally sound, has a rectangular shape, and stacks nicely after being sanded down. It can get a little bloody, and some prolapse can occur, so have a little disinfectant and some Iodine laying around.
These can be used for nice little stacks, but for a large scale structure such as a home, a bonding agent is needed.
-snip-
Softer poops make a nice mortar, but to get a truly ideal substance, one must overdose on laxatives and consume flax by the kilogram. On the Bristol Stool Scale, at least a type six is needed for anything over eight feet high.
-snip-
Truly impressive structures require strong and durable reinforcement. If you can afford it, steel bars will allow very high buildings and help your faeces stand the test of time. When people ask you to give a shit, they usually don't mean this literally. Don't let requests such as those get in the way of finishing your house on time.
-snip-
Not all poops will be hard or soft enough, or maybe it's simply not convenient or socially acceptable to carry your assmud back to the construction site. Remember there are many creative ways to use your smelly byproduct.
Turdffiti is the most popular form of waste redistribution, and it is on the verge of being recognized as a legitimate art form. Again, the Bristol scale will come in handy when deciding how to make turdffiti. Two and three behave like oil paints, four and five like acrylics and the softest drip like watercolours, but fail to avoid wax and are not absorbed by salts.
Displaying your art at public restrooms you frequent is a good way to get helpful advice and constructive criticism. Don't be afraid to accept criticism and don't get angry at harsh-sounding replies, they are just trying to help you use your excretions to the best of your ability.
[editline]17th December 2011[/editline]
Another thing, people seem to think that urinals make ideal shit containers, but this is false.
Use the sink for absolute victory and awesomeness.[/QUOTE]
excuse me but what the fuck
I go on the hoods of cars. Kind of like in a hopping motion while flinging my crap everywhere
[QUOTE=Andaeeee;30183545]I dance the dance of my people[/QUOTE]
[img]http://www.facepunch.com/avatar/255908.png?garryis=awesome?timestamp=1324220227200[/img]
Is this it?
I tarmac.
[sp]http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tarmaccing[/sp]
I pretend I am shitting through a hole down into a pit of african slaves
like this
[IMG]http://www.relievingconstipation.net/images/constipated.jpg[/IMG]
Looks a little blue, consume more protein.
I pull my pants down, sit on the toilet seat and push until poop comes out. Call me weird, but I've done that my whole life.
I used to poop, but then I took a toilet to the knee.
sometimes if i'm having trouble on the toilet my hair sticks up and turns blonde not sure why
I just will the poop to go out..... and it does.
I sit down, shut up and hold on to the sides and let it rip.
Caesarean section...
:suicide:
I take a shit for 30 seconds and then spend 20 more minutes browsing Facepunch.
[sp]Seriously though, I really am taking a shit right now.[/sp]
[editline]18th December 2011[/editline]
Also, most of the time one small chunk of poo only comes out halfway, when that happens I shake until it falls out.
[QUOTE=Combine 177;30183986]This is how to do it.
[IMG]http://filesmelt.com/dl/1280171996207.jpg[/IMG]
[editline]1st June 2011[/editline]
Also, it wiped your ass automaticly.[/QUOTE]
What the fuck?
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