• Post Your Funniest "Bad" Joke
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A bus carrying an east indian bowling team crashes. There are bodies and bowling balls strewen all over the road. A car pulls up. Two guys get out. The first guy runs to help the wounded. The second guy grabs a hammer and starts smashing the bowling balls. The first guy says to the second guy "What the hell are you doing!? We need to help these people!". The second guy says "I gotta smash'em before they hatch!".
"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting falcon" "Interrupting falcon-" "[highlight]PUNCH!!![/highlight]" What's the difference between a gun and a wife? [sp]You can put a silencer on a gun[/sp]
What happens when your wife doesn't cook? Just turn up the heat.
What would a Belmont do without his shoes?
What's similiar between Madeline Mcann and a submarine? They're both six feet under and full of seamen. How do you make jews burn better? You stick a log up their arse.
3 guys meet together, The first say "i bought a car that goes from 0 to 100 in 10 seconds" The second says "oh yea? i bought for my woman one that goes from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds!" The third says "Really? Only? I bought for my woman something that goes from 0 to 100 in 1 second!!" The two others say "Omfg what should that be? A ferrari?" The third says "Nope, a scale!"
Whats the most famous Owl in the UK? The Teat. [sp]Teatowel![/sp] :v:
Why did the spy cross the road? He Never really was on your side. How do you fit 100 mudkips on a bus Poke em on
So A purple man wakes up in his purple room. He pulls down the purple covers and gets out of the purple bed, before going to the purple bathroom to brush his purple teeth with his purple toothbrush. Then he puts on his purple clothes and goes down the purple stairs. He goes into the purple kitchen where his purple wife and purple kids are waiting for him. He makes his purple breakfast and puts on his purple hat, and says goodbye to his wife and kids. He goes out the purple front door, out of his purple house and into his purple car. He gets in the car and starts driving. Soon he is driving down the purple motorway, going 50..60..70..80... He is late for work, so he beings to break the speed limit. Suddenly, a purple police car appears and quickly pulls him over. The purple officer books him in, and he is taken to the purple police station. The purple police officer collects the purple jail cell keys, leads the purple man down to his purple jail cell, throws him in and shouts [sp]"Indigo!"[/sp] :v:
[quote=cortzxxx;17944428]what's brown and sticky?[/quote] a stick
How do you know when it's time to do the dishes? When you look in your pants and see a vagina. Why do women have periods? Because they deserve it. What's the difference between a black man and roadkill? There are skidmarks before the roadkill. How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? 9 months.
So Hitler was driving through the countryside. Suddenly a Both him and his driver hear a loud *BANG*. It turns out they had ran over a pig. The driver asks to take the pig to a nearby farm. Hitler agree's. 5 hours later Hitler "What took you so long" The Driver "Well I knocked on the door and told them I am Hitlers driver, the pig is dead. Thats when the party started" Why are asians jews and blacks afraid of rollercoasters? Because it goes "Chink chink chink chink" "Nigga nigga nigga" "Jeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"
Who do you call when a black women wants an abortion? Crimestoppers.
what do you call a faggot that is on fire? A flamer
how many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them
What did the pirate say when he heard a bad joke? [I]Arr[/I] dee [I]Arr Arr![/I]
-snip- Shi... Late!
What's the difference between an African American and a pizza? The pizza can serve a family of four.
What happens when your husband doesn't want sex. Space time continuum breaks out of reality.
What's black and blue and hates sex? The 8 year old in my trunk.
What do you call bad toilet paper? [i]Shitty. [/i]
How do you know if your sister is on her period? If your dad's dick tastes like blood
Have you ever had any Ethiopian food? [sp]Neither have they.[/sp] What's long, black and stinks like shit? [sp]The welfare line.[/sp]
What's pink and fluffy? [sp]pink fluff[/sp]
The one that I made up in my head while fishing. "What do you call a Mexican patriot? A Nachonalist!" When it appeared in my head I stopped cranking the reel and thought "Bloody 'ell! that was crap!"
What site do you call a waste of time? Twitter.
How did the pollock break his arm while raking leaves? He fell out of the tree. Haha, lame Still love 'em
I'm pretty sure you have heard of these.. A truck carrying pipes and barrels turns a corner. What drops? [sp]Speed[/sp] A watermelon and a durian hits ur head, what hurts more? [sp]Your head[/sp]
What's blue and smells like red paint? [sp]Blue paint[/sp]
whats stickly in the inside and can make a face? [sp] a pumpkin[/sp]
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