Close calls you had - General

Well, I haven't had any death threatening incidents except one. Some idiot car pulls in front of me that I only saw at the last second in an intersection. I pulled out of the way with a sharp turn. I had my computer in the back seat when this happened, and that incident got my monitor broken. I guess I should have secured my computer equipment better, but sheesh. At least I saved my older brother and the car in the process.

I work at a slaughter house, we were slaughtering cattle that day. Now the cattle are hung up by the back leg so that they are upside down, the front legs hanging on the floor. The front legs have to be cut off from around the knee down. Anyway, I was cutting them off one day, took a knife and grabbed a leg, lifted it up and sliced across the joint. Now, even when they've been dead and bled out for a bit, the nerves can still be active. It jolted, the leg I wasn't holding kicked up and hit my arm with the knife. My hand slid up and the knifes tip only just grazed the side of the throat, to the point where it only left a little cut in the skin and didn't even draw blood. Regardless of the amazing luck, I was still a bit shaken up, an inch my way and I would have had a knife through my neck and a very shit day.

It was new years eve. Rockets were shot into the air like every year. Being scared of fireworks as usual (and having slight OCD) I counted the amounts of rockets that were shot into the air, and how many of them exploded. I detected a miscount; there were one more launch than there were explosions. I closed my eyes and [b]bam[/b], I felt a firm knock in my knee where I was sitting. Turns out I was directly hit by a delayed rocket. The bag I had by my side was burning, but if I hadn't closed my eyes I would probably be blind today. Worst thing about it though was that nobody gave a shit, and it was a crowded area.

i almost got caught masturbating once

i was being driver for five girls. just driving them to a party and back. and we were already one too much in the car, and i knew the police was lurking in the area i was driving to. so the extra girl was laying down the whole trip, we drove past a civil police car. and two police cars were standing right after where the party was. and they were waving people in and proably checking if anybody was driving illegaly. i could've easily gotten a ticket if they were standing alittle closer.

One time I used a pocketknife as a screwdriver. Folded onto my finger. Cut the tendon almost all the way through, and my finger is now fat at the first knuckle. The kicker? I was opening an atomic clock. Not even anything cool. A clock.

[QUOTE=Protocol7;35993671]One time I used a pocketknife as a screwdriver. Folded onto my finger. Cut the tendon almost all the way through, and my finger is now fat at the first knuckle. The kicker? I was opening an atomic clock. Not even anything cool. A clock.[/QUOTE] Atomic clocks are cool as fuck don't diss

[QUOTE=Tacosheller;35993787]Atomic clocks are cool as fuck don't diss[/QUOTE] it's cool as fuck and I still have it I'm just sayin I cut my finger bad for a clock

when i was a baby on holiday, my dad apparently forgot to strap me into my chair while he showered or something and i managed to crawl out onto the balcony and almost fell off. thanks dad

Lungs didn't work for a week when I was a baby. I was attached to a bunch of tubes. I was also born early and the doctors said I should have died. Parents left the car in neutral at a gas station, and I was sitting in the car as it rolled into traffic. Age 6. When I was scuba diving four years ago my tank cut out at 60 ft below, and I had to grab the backup regulator off my buddy. She wandered off while looking at the fish, so I had to hold my breath for probably a minute while attempting to find her. Last month I was sitting in a car with some friends on a road trip from Chicago to New Jersey for a conference at Princeton. We spun out on the highway going 70 barely managing to stay out of traffic. Nobody was hurt and the guy driving managed to pull over to the side, while the car was spinning, and yelling mid spin, "ARE YOU GUYS OKAY? ARE YOU GUYS OKAY? YOU OKAY?" TELL YA IN A MINUTE DUDE. There's a couple more possible fatal accidents, but none of those are as interesting.

At the age of under 10 someone threw a generous sized wooden stick in my eye and caused bleeding. Luckily I was taken to a hospital in a jiffy and got my eye fixed, works just like new. Wore an eyepatch to kindergarten until it healed. As a mark of the event, a faint red splotch rests on my iris and white.

Well when I was younger my whole family was riding in the car we where at a bad kinda of old country intersection with warning flashers no traffic lights, we pull up and me in the back seat I was looking out the window and I see this semi rolling up to the intersection and we started to pull out and I remember saying at first in a low voice "hey look at that truck" then a little louder until a just about yelled it and my mother slammed on the brakes the truck flew across at like fucking 50 mph. I'm sure we would have died or the ones on that side. I got ice cream and shit.