Experiences with mentally handicapped children (a.k.a. Derp Kids Say The Darndest Things) - General

One time while i was in school i was in the bathroom taking a piss, and a retarded kid walked in, pulled his pants down, and started pissing right next to me whilst screaming "I LOVE PENGUINS!!". Needless to say i got the hell out of there.

[QUOTE=ElChrisman99;30532239]I had a friend in my 5th grade class who had a very bad case of asperger's. Since we both had it we actually got along fairly well. But the problem was his case was much more advanced then mine, and he had this obsession with mechanical devices, anything that involved multiple parts working together and in sync he was always interested. I remember one day in class, he was staring at the clock and I say to him "If you keep staring at the time then it will feel like the day is longer" And he says back "Oh what? I was just looking at the hands on the clock, thinking about how the mechanics of it work..." We both laughed about it :unsmith: he was a nice kid. But he could hardly talk and would often say very mean things to others when he had no idea what he was saying, borderline sociopolitical sometimes. I have not seen or heard from him since the end of the 5th grade, he was sent off to a "special" school.[/QUOTE] Let's be optimistic and pretend he became an idiot savant engineer

[QUOTE=Lebowski;30532685]Let's be optimistic and pretend he became an idiot savant engineer[/QUOTE] :smith:

#15: Malcolm's annoying chair I was supervising a few students during their individual play time, when I heard the ear-piercing roar of our fire alarm. I immediately assumed my typical position next to the door, making sure the tards make it outside, while my aides herded them towards me. Malcolm decided he doesn't want to go outside. The aide assisting Malcolm starts pushing him towards the door, and he immediately slams his chair into reverse. She pushes harder, the motor starts making a loud buzzing sound, and the room smells faintly of burnt oil. I step forward and move Malcolm's finger off of the control, after this he starts rolling towards the door. The second I turn around to check on the other tards he hits reverse again. Hearing that load motor buzz, I swing around and grab the side of Malcolm's chair, sliding his arm off the side and into his lap, making it impossible for him to hit his finger control. The aide then pushed him out the door. Once we were outside and lined up, I put Malcolm's arm back on the side of his chair. Malcolm immediately started flying back towards the room. I grabbed his chair and held him in place, while the motor made that nice buzzing sound. Now all the teachers and their classes are staring at me holding this wheelchair tard in place while his chair is making the most horrendous buzzing sound ever. I finally got fed up. In the hopes that he would drain his battery, I put on the manual breaks and walked back over to our classes line. Malcolm must have sat there buzzing for a good ten minutes. Finally after all the other classes went back, including ours, I took off his brakes and allowed him back into the building. I still don't know why Malcolm wanted to be in the building so much. -Tard Blog

2 stories. We have one capable but *something is wrong and I can't tell what* kind of kid, who's in a wheelchair. Now, in our school, the halls aren't very wide, and me and my friends stand to one side and take up about half of the hall. So while we're all talking, wheelchair boy comes riding along, with at least 25 people behind him, some trying to overtake him. He's proceeding through the half of the hall we aren't occupying and just fucking STOPS. He turns his electric wheelchair to us, and starts listening in to what we're talking about. So now there's a huge jam in the middle of the hall. A girl trying almost desperately to get by shouts at wheelchair boy, "Move!" and other things under her breath. He BARELY reacts. He just waits a few seconds, and SLOWLY turned his head to her, with a poker-face. Then just looked back. To avoid people flipping shit we all had to move down the hall. The other story is this massive guy. Not really hugely wide, but overweight and tall as a motherfucker. I mean tall. He has a completely downs face. Droopy eyes, but otherwise completely normal. He's really friendly. REALLY FRIENDLY. He'll walk up to anyone and just start talking. And you can't stop him. I mean that, no matter what you do (unless you run away) he will keep talking. It's incredible that someone can talk to another complete stranger for hours and still have content. Eventually you stop listening. It's definitely not interesting. He is also oblivious to whether you are listening or not. I mean, I put in my noise-cancelling earbuds, start playing music, and just nod at him occasionally. He really doesn't know. He's the one kid that will never be lonely. Hopefully those were entertaining to some degree.

So there is a special kid at my school. He is fucking huge.. probably 6 foot 8 inches tall ass kid. One day me and my friend are skipping class and he is running down the hall screaming [b] FUCCK.. FUUUCCCKKKK FUCK FUCKUFKCUK [/b] and he stops and stares at me and my friend breathing heavily and ran away then tripped on a garbage can. Shortly after that we saw some teachers running in his direction.

So, let me start by saying that I have a brother with low functioning autism. A lot of the time he'll ask you for soda or french fries by just saying "SODA?!" or whatever. Most of the time he lives at a school for autistic kids, but every now and then he'll come to live at home for a few days. Also, my crazy-ass dog loves him because he's as wild and crazy as my dog is. So, my brother was just sitting on the couch watching TV, when my dog walks over to him and starts licking his face. My brother turns towards him, looks him in the eyes, gets really serious, and asks my dog really loudly for [b]"SODA?!"[/b], then waits to see if my dog will go and get it for him. Also, picture of my dog for reference (and because he's so damn cute :3:). [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/G60vF.jpg[/IMG]

So many special needs kids at my school. There's this kid named Brent who graduated from my school this week and he made a speech at the ceremony, and it was really touching. Made my eyes water up a bit.

[QUOTE=Carbon123;30509983]On the intercom they used to say during the announcements "Happy Birthday to ____". One of the mentally challenged kids in my PE class heard this, and instantly flipped shit, screaming bloody murder. They did it for a week straight before the announcements were changed to say "Happy Celebration Day". Also, this kid named Peter wears really sleazy clothing but manages to wear a yellow tie every day. He constantly says "WHO ARE YOU" to every kid he makes eye contact with, or is alone with. I remember I was walking down the hallway of my school to get paper for a timeline project from a science teacher's room, alone. I turn around because I thought i heard footsteps, nothing there. I keep walking. Suddenly, I hear [b]"WHO ARE YOU?"[/b] I turn and I see fucking Peter standing there in the middle of the hallway, I don't know how the hell he got there. I keep walking, so he starts walking after me. "WHO ARE YOU??? GODDAMN IT WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU??" I walk faster, he keeps pace with me. That day was horrifying[/QUOTE] I really lold, because I do this constantly to people at random times. (Who is this, who are you questions out of nowhere in a middle of a conersation) Ahhh, good ol' times.

My dad's a plumber, and once he had to do work on a home for adult retards. Whenever they asked who he was he would tell them he was the toilet wizard. There was this one lady that came up him said "Who yhu?" and he said, "I'm a plumber" and said said "You plumber", and for some reason, she just opened her shirt and flashed him. Whenever he want back there, and she saw him, she always yelled "Hey plumber" and flashed him.

A guy with aspergers used to be my best friend back in primary school, and we talked about Battlefield 2 every recess and lunch, even though he was a year older. Back then socializing with someone out of your birthyear was frowned upon. Come highschool, we stopped talking. I figured he didn't want me to contact him in real life, but I knew his connection with technology, so I obtained his email address and talked to him through there. We had a great conversation about how we've developed now from before. He then told me he didn't want me to come into contact with him because of how it would ruin my social life at the school, and that I was too good to be bagged for being the guy friends with the retarded aspie, and he thanked me for being a good friend back when we were, and that I got him through primary school as a breeze. We've gone our own ways, we're from totally different social groups, have polar opposite ideals and thoughts about nearly everything, but every now and then when we feel like talking to each other, the conversations we have about pointless stuff will never be forgotten. He graduated from school and became a pilot, and is leading a healthy and successful life.

I remember this big girl, aged like 20, border-line retarded because she was speaking her own language.. incomprehensible language you know. "ala'uua! ala'uua!" anyway she was a lot older than us, but inside her mind she was like 3 year old. She was flapping her arms, tilting her head from left to right, spitting uncontrollably and making funny sounds. And she was BIG not necessarily fat but still big. Anyway we usually hanged out in this playground after school (there were adults too the managers looking after) and every once in a while the big retarded girl started running at us from distance, it was pretty intense she was like a warrior charging at us. Then we ran away and she liked chasing us, until her supporter came to put her on a leash so to speak. We see her out in the streets every once in a while with her custodian, but not in a while. she was funny and scary too.

There's this one really fat special kid at my school named Antonio who's graduated a couple of times now. During my freshman year of high school people would move out of his way when he walked by because he'd push people and bark at them. He pushed me once. :( Oh and his ass was always showing. Not just the tip of his crack, but his actuall ass. It was pretty gross. But now they make him wear suspenders. Thank god. Oh and he recently made a Facebook. He writes on people walls randomly with shit like "Happy Saturday Madison" or whatever something along those lines.

When I was at primary school, there was this kid whos favourite thing to do to his friends was strangle them. He was really good at it too...

two challenged kids that were at my middle school, not much to say one always stood on a stump by the track, for most of the day every day another was horribly fat and got stuck in a desk on the last day of school (the first time he tried to sit in a normal desk, he usually was in a special large desk). he tried to get up and just managed to tip it over he cried

Remember that autistic kid named Argon who had that nasty shit? Well I had a school dance Friday and he just had to attend. He was acting pretty fine until he randomly slapped some kid across the face without reason. He was pushed over the tables after.

There was a kid in my P.E. class that had some sort of problem. His name was Cruz. He was native american, had hair down to his ass,was skinny as shit. Always jerked off in class. Not full blown whip it out and start goin' at it, he'd do it secretively. He'd just sit there. Hand in his pants. Jerkin' it.

[QUOTE=Hoboiam;30557237]There was a kid in my P.E. class that had some sort of problem. His name was Cruz. He was native american, had hair down to his ass,was skinny as shit. Always jerked off in class. Not full blown whip it out and start goin' at it, he'd do it secretively. He'd just sit there. Hand in his pants. Jerkin' it.[/QUOTE] Sex addiction without the sex.

[QUOTE=FullStreak12;30556364]Remember that autistic kid named Argon who had that nasty shit? Well I had a school dance Friday and he just had to attend. He was acting pretty fine until he randomly slapped some kid across the face without reason. He was pushed over the tables after.[/QUOTE] That reminds me, we have an aspie in my history class, he sits behind me too, so I have to deal with all the creepy shit. One day a few weeks ago, we all had to stay after school since we made the student teacher feel real bad. He got pissed off and started slamming his head into his desk as hard as he could. He did this about 7 times, and nobody in the class knew whether to laugh, or run the fuck out. I was also staying after school last year to work with my science teacher to study up for some tests coming up, and he walked into the room all happy and stuff, then walked up to the teacher and squeezed his head screaming he was going to murder him. God damn, some aspies can be really scary.

just a quick note i'm best friends with an "aspie" and he's fucking smart, one of those guys who remembers everything they read and can tell you everything about anything. i usually hang out with him as we play the same video games and watch the same films, he's awesome so remember kids, not all of them will scream at you and eat your face

There's this kid who is basically a master troll. He's extremely annoying first of all, he's obsessed with old coins, guns, Nazis, Egyptians, lots of things. So his first step in trolling is to start annoying the piss out of people by talking about random shit and not shutting the Hell up even though they ask him nicely and/or aggressively to shut the fuck up. Once his victim is sufficiently mad, they throw insults at him like "Go die in a hole". He responds by taking their insult and incorporating shit into it somehow like "Go die in a hole filled with [i]shit[/i]", with emphasis on the shit part. This kid talks back to the goddamned quarterbacks of the school football team who could literally pick him up with one arm and throw him halfway down the hallway. One day he chose my friend as a target. Bad decision. My friend whips around and punches his sorry ass right in the face and he starts to fight back. The teacher ended it fairly quickly but I'm sure he would've been dead in 5 minutes, max. [editline]23rd June 2011[/editline] -snip im dumb-

There was this one kid who used to get really mad all the time and chase girls (Literally, not in the metaphorical sense suggesting he was straight, because he was homosexual also). He disappeared one day, never seen him since. An apathetic teacher said he got sent to a mental institution for (near fatally) assaulting and raping his little sister who has Downs.

When I was four years old, this kid who was also four came up to me on the playground. I dont know what kind of derp it was but he was 4 years old and 4 FEET TALL with huge arms. He comepetly made me look like a dwarf. So he comes up to me and GRABS ME BY THE THROAT, lifts me into the air (by just my throat) and throws me across the playground. This is not a toss here we are talking like baseball pitch kind of throw through the air not across the ground. Thank god my mother saw that or he might have done it again! You want to know what his mother did: Shrugged!!!! and that was it! That by itself wasn't worth a life long hate, but after that as a kid I was completely terrified of other kids.

I was asked to go to an autistic kid's house to help him with recording sound from his computer for Youtube videos. It would have taken maybe five minutes to show him how to turn on Stereo Mix, couple more to make sure he understood it. Instead it took an hour of him showing me ten minute videos of him playing with his friend outside and the things he was trying to record but had no sound ([url=http://www.pixeljam.com/dinorun/]Dino Run[/url] runs.) He had an account full of them (Without sound) and seemed to have a few fans. Strange, but nice for him and he went proudly to his mum smiling when somebody left a positive comment. Which made me feel bad knowing Youtube's community would eventually tell him "ur videos suck i hope u die".

We had this kid at my school, i don't think he was mentally defecient, just immature or something. About twice a week he would he put his sandwich in the middle of the field. He waited for some seaguls to come swooping down, and then he would run towards them shouting take me with you, then he'd walk off laughing like he'd achieved something. Also in our German class, he would make meowing noises, not every lesson, but quite a lot of the time. He'd answer retoricall questions that teachers would ask in assembley. He wasn't just one of the naughty kids, he was too stupid, very few lunch and break times, he would spend his time stood next to the hand dryers in the toilets, watching anybody that goes to the toilet.

[QUOTE=Drfastfood;30681123]When I was four years old, this kid who was also four came up to me on the playground. I dont know what kind of derp it was but he was 4 years old and 4 FEET TALL with huge arms. He comepetly made me look like a dwarf. So he comes up to me and GRABS ME BY THE THROAT, lifts me into the air (by just my throat) and throws me across the playground. This is not a toss here we are talking like baseball pitch kind of throw through the air not across the ground. Thank god my mother saw that or he might have done it again! You want to know what his mother did: Shrugged!!!! and that was it! That by itself wasn't worth a life long hate, but after that as a kid I was completely terrified of other kids.[/QUOTE] Yeah the best part about mentally handicapped kids is sometimes how much more normal they act than "normal" kids who just have anger issues and disobedience problems.

There is this kid at our school, I'm not sure what's wrong with him, but he's strange. He tends to annoy everybody, so not many people speak to him, but that's okay because he's also somewhat of a dick and will insult you over the smallest thing. He was obsessed with the Military and would very often come to school dressed in an old Woodland Camo pattern US Army BDU. I once had the "pleasure" of having an extended conversation with him once. I learned that he: 1. Is a hardcore Atheist 2. Is an Anarchist and believes the Government should be destroyed 3. Only wants in the US Army so he can blow things up and shoot people I'm not in school anymore, so I don't know what's happened with him. The last I heard of him, he was allegedly kicked out of Boot Camp, though I find this story implausible as he hasn't even graduated High School yet and thus wouldn't be allowed in Boot Camp yet.

So a couple months agoi was waiting to talk to my psychiatrist when a really fat kid who looked REALLY confused sat next to me. He looked around and picked up a magazine next to him. There was a model in one of the photos, and he started talking to me about her while touching his balls through his sweats. It was so awkward with my mom next to me. so after a while he put the magazine down and stood up. looked down at me and screamed the loudest scream possible. i' almost shit my pants as he picked up the lamp next to me and threw it across the room onto the clerks safety glass protecting the desk. he had a gross boner from the model too. His dad ran in the waiting room looking for his son who ran away from home. his son was crying and pointing at me the whole time he was hugging his dad... went to my psyciatrist once and got my diagnosis of ADHD ):.

Sorry for the bump but I find this thread quite funny. So there's this kid in my neighborhood, around 15-16 years old and goes to a school for Special Kids and has the mind of a 6 year old. I've seen him do all kinds of stupid shit like for example running up to a random girl and asking to marry her in the most hilariously loud voice ever, you could hear him all the way across the street. He also tends to snort as loud as he can on the street and creepily stares at anybody who passes by him. What is kind of disturbing though, is that he has a brother who seems to be also mentally ill but also quite aggressive, I once passed by them both and heard his brother (who is around 5'8 and fat as fuck) threaten to kill me because I'm apparently "not from around here". Luckily his brother stopped him before he could do anything so I didn't have to punch the poor midget

There were some dumb kids calling me a hamster... They're dead now.