Experiences with mentally handicapped children (a.k.a. Derp Kids Say The Darndest Things) - General

[QUOTE=KingKombat;30191132]holy shit if you could upload that to youtube i can almost guarantee that would get so many views[/QUOTE] Actually we did, it was funny as shit. It was uploaded on the helpers youtube account and I believe it was titled "I love cocks" and it was in the education category (do those categories still exist?). No idea if it's still there, but it did have a pretty good run while it was up.

So my old music teacher is very religious. She's also the kind of teacher that gets mad at absolutely everything and despises anyone talking (I got in trouble one time for joking around about how we got off-topic... she threatened to send me to the principal's office for being "smart"). ANYWAY, this kid with downs is in the class. Well, the teacher was talking to him in the same voice people talk to babies in, when all of the sudden the kid with downs suddenly raises his hands and grabs a boob. Needless to say, it was adequately hilarious.

[QUOTE=Fatfatfatty;30179317]We have a massive autistic guy, he belives that werewolves are real. And he also belives that there is an alternate dimension meant for the wolves to live in or some shit I have no idea.[/QUOTE] we call those [i]furries[/i]

This kid always runs up to me and makes me recite the 4 horsemen of the apocolypse.

Ok, another USNSCC story. I have a staff position as Divison Petty Officer in my unit, and this guy was just a complete fuckup. He fucked everything up every time something could be fucked up. Anyways, I had been dealing with his fucking up for months, and I decided to set him straight so he wouldn't fuck up anymore. So I called him up and asked why the fuck he was fucking up. After a short conversation and a promise that he wouldn't fuck up anymore I got a call from another cadet in my division. This cadet said that the fuckup was freaking out and that he was hurting himself, and that we should make sure he doesn't hurt himself anymore. I understood his concern and called my Chief. After around a half hour, I got a call back saying that... The fuckup read in a USMC manual from 70 years ago that [i]to relieve stress, you must repeatedly hit your head against a wall.[/i]

[QUOTE=salmonmarine;30191662]Ok, another USNSCC story. I have a staff position as Divison Petty Officer in my unit, and this guy was just a complete fuckup. He fucked everything up every time something could be fucked up. Anyways, I had been dealing with his fucking up for months, and I decided to set him straight so he wouldn't fuck up anymore. So I called him up and asked why the fuck he was fucking up. After a short conversation and a promise that he wouldn't fuck up anymore I got a call from another cadet in my division. This cadet said that the fuckup was freaking out and that he was hurting himself, and that we should make sure he doesn't hurt himself anymore. I understood his concern and called my Chief. After around a half hour, I got a call back saying that... The fuckup read in a USMC manual from 70 years ago that [i]to relieve stress, you must repeatedly hit your head against a wall.[/i][/QUOTE] Wow, that's fucked up.

[QUOTE=zach34;30191350]So my old music teacher is very religious. She's also the kind of teacher that gets mad at absolutely everything and despises anyone talking (I got in trouble one time for joking around about how we got off-topic... she threatened to send me to the principal's office for being "smart"). ANYWAY, this kid with downs is in the class. Well, the teacher was talking to him in the same voice people talk to babies in, when all of the sudden the kid with downs suddenly raises his hands and grabs a boob. Needless to say, it was adequately hilarious.[/QUOTE] As ROFLBURGER and many others would say, He was probably a troll, or just fucking [u][b]stupid[/u][/b]. Also, mental retardation + likes boobs, you've got a whole bowl of wrong. [editline]1st June 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=Elspin;30189749]I was waiting for someone to make that dumb joke but I was expecting ROFLBURGER to be honest. My name's Spencer. Also he was "in the film class" and they occasionally let him walk around the hallways aiming a video camera at things. We found one of the videos he took on one of the computers, there was a lot of footage of creeping on classrooms and one where he aimed his camera at the helpers boobs and went "HA-HAAAAAAAAAAA".[/QUOTE] THAT KID NEEDS TO BE FAMOUS!

[QUOTE=KingKombat;30170215]Have you ever had that one kid in your class who they kept there because the fifth floor was already packed with kids who had special needs? [/QUOTE] Fifth floor? What the fuck? Five floors? Also, I do not support this thread. Poking fun at people with uncontrollable disabilities is fun, yes, but we don't really need a whole thread on it. It's kinda like making a thread about "Experiences with black people" or "Experiences with people with Cancer", dig? Well, maybe not exactly like that, but it's the same general gist. Laughing over someone who has an illness or disability, something that they can't control. Sorry if I'm being too moral-faggy for ye.

[QUOTE=Detective P;30192157]Fifth floor? What the fuck? Five floors? Also, I do not support this thread. Poking fun at people with uncontrollable disabilities is fun, yes, but we don't really need a whole thread on it. It's kinda like making a thread about "Experiences with black people" or "Experiences with people with Cancer", dig? Well, maybe not exactly like that, but it's the same general gist. Laughing over someone who has an illness or disability, something that they can't control. Sorry if I'm being too moral-faggy for ye.[/QUOTE] but these posts are actually entertaining and full of content, unlike every other thread in Fast Threads in fact I'd say this is the best thread this subforum has seen in years

[QUOTE=Generic.Monk;30192340]but these posts are actually entertaining and full of content, unlike every other thread in Fast Threads in fact I'd say this is the best thread this subforum has seen in years[/QUOTE] :buddy:

There's an autistic(?) junior that goes to my school that will absolutely flip his shit if someone disagrees with him, or if he hears that something he believed in isn't real. With prior knowledge, a kid shouts from the other side of the room 'HEY BOBBY, FAIRIES AREN'T REAL!' He stands up with the scariest facial expression I've ever seen, and slowly sits down, breathing hard. It was absolutely terrifying.

[QUOTE=triFeral;30192634]There's an autistic(?) junior that goes to my school that will absolutely flip his shit if someone disagrees with him, or if he hears that something he believed in isn't real. With prior knowledge, a kid shouts from the other side of the room 'HEY BOBBY, FAIRIES AREN'T REAL!' He stands up with the scariest facial expression I've ever seen, and slowly sits down, breathing hard. It was absolutely terrifying.[/QUOTE] SOON

[QUOTE=triFeral;30192634]There's an autistic(?) junior that goes to my school that will absolutely flip his shit if someone disagrees with him, or if he hears that something he believed in isn't real. With prior knowledge, a kid shouts from the other side of the room 'HEY BOBBY, FAIRIES AREN'T REAL!' He stands up with the scariest facial expression I've ever seen, and slowly sits down, breathing hard. It was absolutely terrifying.[/QUOTE] "Hey Bobby, Vampires didn't bite your neck because they don't exist." :fuckoff:

In 5th grade, we were eating lunch outside and all of a sudden we heard a scream. Turned around, this autistic kid was stripping down saying the fleas were after him. Oh, and he threw a wooden block at one of the computer screens and broke it.

[QUOTE=brandonsh;30190466]Let's see... There was this one fat girl that sat next to me in Design class, yelling at everyone over nothing and scribbling on MS Paint instead of doing any work. Long story short, after a week I was getting rather annoyed with this, then I realized my computer tower was next to her monitor, and started opening the disc tray through Explorer. She went mad. Good times.[/QUOTE] how do you do that [editline]1st June 2011[/editline] never mind im retarded

ITT: Y'all going to hell.

There's a really annoying derp kid in a few of my classes, I've had to put up with him for about 4 years, and he seems to like to try to "hang around" me and my friends. The kid tends to skip down the hallway, and he's in grade 12. Anyways, one time in Grade 9 gym we had a sub, so we were just fucking around. We had a soccer net out and he was standing "goal" in it (I put quotes around it because it wasn't really a game of soccer, the net was just out and he decided to stand in front of it as if a goalie). Some kids were then, of course, kicking the soccer balls at him, and the kid starts crying to the sub about them kicking balls at him while he's in net. Then the sub yells at the kids kicking the balls, despite all of them saying that the kid was in net. This kid also likes to hover over people's shoulders as soon as he sees a screen of any sort and won't go away unless you directly tell him to piss off, go away just doesn't seem to suffice, and he doesn't seem to understand what a "hint" is.

This girl with downs sitting a seat ahead of me on the bus told me she loved kissing woody. I was all :gonk: until I realized she was talking about her doll of woody from toy story. [QUOTE=Detective P;30192157]Fifth floor? What the fuck? Five floors? Also, I do not support this thread. Poking fun at people with uncontrollable disabilities is fun, yes, but we don't really need a whole thread on it. It's kinda like making a thread about "Experiences with black people" or "Experiences with people with Cancer", dig? Well, maybe not exactly like that, but it's the same general gist. Laughing over someone who has an illness or disability, something that they can't control. Sorry if I'm being too moral-faggy for ye.[/QUOTE] Black people aren't disadvantaged.

When I was in school, every morning my friends and I would sit in this hallway near a special education room. I've seen my share of the mentally handicapped, and for the most part, they've all been pretty okay in the field of basic cognitive abilities. You can't really hold a conversation with them but you can tell that there's something there and they have the ability to think freely. [I]But this one kid...[/I]this one kid I don't really even know how to describe. He's pretty much a giant, and when he's walking he screams at the top of his lungs trying to say something, but all that comes out is a garbled mess of a bunch of retarded bullshit. One morning, we heard him yelling and we were all like "Oh shit, here he comes." So we all kind of kept quiet as he was walking by, and then he walked into the room like every other morning. A few minutes later the kid goes dashing out of the room, making an escape. The teachers go out chasing him, and they apprehend him and bring it back to the room and then both of the teachers actually [I]run[/I] out the room and push against the door. A few moments later, we could hear him screaming and laughing while he was pushing against the door to force it open. A tear ran down my face, for he wanted freedom, just as any sentient being.

There is an add kid at our school. One day during class he dropped his ruler. A kid picked it up and threw it back to him. The kid didn't notice this and the ruler hit him lightly on the forhead. Well this add kid then felt the need to pick up a chair and throw it as hard as he could at the wall a couple of metres away, causing a massive dint. He then ran straight to the door. Now being a public school that allows this behaviour, the lock on the door didn't work as well as it should have. Needless to say it took this kid over 15 seconds to get the door handle to work. All the while everyone in the room was silent and staring at him. It was the longest moment of my life.

[QUOTE=Detective P;30192157]Fifth floor? What the fuck? Five floors? Also, I do not support this thread. Poking fun at people with uncontrollable disabilities is fun, yes, but we don't really need a whole thread on it. It's kinda like making a thread about "Experiences with black people" or "Experiences with people with Cancer", dig? Well, maybe not exactly like that, but it's the same general gist. Laughing over someone who has an illness or disability, something that they can't control. Sorry if I'm being too moral-faggy for ye.[/QUOTE] Racist! he acts like being black is a disability or illness :O

there was once a kid in my required middle school music class who filled his shorts with rubber bands I don't even know how he had tons of rubber bands, he must have brought them from home he took them out of his pockets and started shoving them up the legs of his shorts

At my school we have in the gym this two part door. It has an upper and lower half that can be opened so people can watch sport games from the doorway. Anyway, this autistic chick walked into the lower half which was locked. When it didn't open she walked into it again, and again, and again, for about 2 minutes before someone unlocked it for her. Strange days... I remember this one from a few years back, I didn't witness it but the story was spread around the school a lot and it supposedly happened. This guy in his final year and special ed just got up and randomly proposed to this girl in his class, ring and all. Talking about how she might not love him now but he does and it's enough for both of them, and that maybe by the time of the wedding she'll feel the same. She just said no and he ran out crying. She supposedly had only spoken to him a few times That one was just a story around school though

My sister and mother works with handicapped people. My sister brings them home to us, but rarely. I don't mind it, though.

I have high-functioning autism and when I enrolled in a public school several years ago and they found out about my autism they basically flipped shit and the admnistration assigned me to the special needs bus. I preferred sitting in the back since it was easier to ignore all the ruckus the others were making, but there was this very underweight kid with a pudding bowl haircut, freckles, and buck teeth who always sat across from me and every morning when he would arrive he would say "Hey [my name], what are you doing?" Every time he saw me. If I didn't respond he would usually start flapping his lips with his index finger while humming, making that "wbububububbu" noise. If I did reply, then he would start his throwing ink and lead-based writing utensils at me saying stuff on the lines of "Shut the fuck up you bitch, I didn't give you permission to speak!" One day I got tired of it and called him a "fucking freak" and he just sank his head in his hands and had an emotional meltdown. Eventually I moved and didn't need to put up with his bullshit any longer.

Not really a kid-story but still related to the topic: Theres this odd, mildly agressive (but never physically) derp guy, in his twentys, wearing a Coca-Cola hat all the time, which brought him his name, "Coca-Cola". He usually sits in our bus in the morning and gets off at a facility where theres more of his kind. The strange part is, we often wave at him from the bus, receiving a wide variety of reactions. Well, turns out some kids taught him the Hitler-salute, so he often walks by the bus, waving back at us this way. :v: Theres also this cute older derp at the bus stop who always greets everyone, a while ago he kept coming in our bus every morning, wishing us a good day and getting off again :buddy: But he hasn't been doing that for a few weeks now.

[QUOTE=Detective P;30192157]Fifth floor? What the fuck? Five floors? Also, I do not support this thread. Poking fun at people with uncontrollable disabilities is fun, yes, but we don't really need a whole thread on it. It's kinda like making a thread about "Experiences with black people" or "Experiences with people with Cancer", dig? Well, maybe not exactly like that, but it's the same general gist. Laughing over someone who has an illness or disability, something that they can't control. Sorry if I'm being too moral-faggy for ye.[/QUOTE] People with cancer aren't exactly funny, black people have the potential to be, but then again so does everybody. Mentally handicapped children are often encountered and often say the darndest things. My little brother's some kinda autistic, don't know exactly what level, but it isn't that far down. He doesn't say anything worth mentioning though, just really stupid things.

there was this one kid who used to be in my classes, I'm not sure what he had though. Anyways, whenever we had a female substitute this guy would stand up, walk to the front of the class and tell the teacher his pants are too tight. Before the teacher could even respond to him he had whipped off his pants and underwear to reveal a raging boner. Every time we had a substitute, every damn time.

[QUOTE=Kymandu;30175119]This autistic, slow, whateverthefuck he has kid sleeps (or used to) sleep on a bench every day during lunch. For some reason seeing this just pissed me off so before lunch was over I walked by and screamed as loud as i could into his ear and he immediately jumped up scared shitless, I fled the scene and drove home, according to my friends it scared the fuck out of him and he followed me saying things like "fuck you" and "you son of a bitch" though more in a derp accent so "fwhuck yew" and " yuuu swun ofabich". 6 months later and he has never touched that bench that he used to sleep on every single day, never sleeps at school either. Good riddance.[/QUOTE] sounds like you're the one with the mental problems :colbert:

[QUOTE=hula whoop;30197400]there was this one kid who used to be in my classes, I'm not sure what he had though. Anyways, whenever we had a female substitute this guy would stand up, walk to the front of the class and tell the teacher his pants are too tight. Before the teacher could even respond to him he had whipped off his pants and underwear to reveal a raging boner. Every time we had a substitute, every damn time.[/QUOTE] Go on... :q: