Experiences with mentally handicapped children (a.k.a. Derp Kids Say The Darndest Things) - General

There's this kid in my school with some kinda mental disorder. The canteen was closed off for two days because he rubbed his hands against the urinals and he smeared them all over the food, and nobody would have known if it weren't for some kids in the lower year following him around. [editline]3rd June 2011[/editline] Also this kid walks around taking his glasses off his face, licking them, and makes helicopter noises. He also bear hugged a teacher so hard that they couldn't breathe once. I've seen him living up to the "window-licker" stereotype.

[QUOTE=geogzm;30218981]There's this kid in my school with some kinda mental disorder. The canteen was closed off for two days because he rubbed his hands against the urinals and he smeared them all over the food, and nobody would have known if it weren't for some kids in the lower year following him around. [editline]3rd June 2011[/editline] Also this kid walks around taking his glasses off his face, licking them, and makes helicopter noises. He also bear hugged a teacher so hard that they couldn't breathe once. I've seen him living up to the "window-licker" stereotype.[/QUOTE] hnnnngh must not laugh

Was munching on some chips while waiting for the light to turn red so I could cross. A handicap buss pulled up and one wheelchaired child was looking at me. I started waving a chip and he started licking the window then I ate it and he started crying just as the light turned red. I wanted to stand in front of the bus and let it hit me. :smith:

Today Im in sociology and I was the only one in the class since most of the kids went on a trip to the Shedd Aquarium. Anyway I notice this guitar on the floor. I ask about it to one of the staff that was in the room. She tells me it belong to a kid named Ryan. Ryan is a very fat baby faced kid who I hear is a total bitch about everything. the staff member told me to bring it to our Music teacher who Ryan was gonna give it to. I go up le stairs and hand it to him and return. as me and the staff member were about to go outside to the nature center (because I fucking love nature) Ryan steps into the class asking about the guitar. The staff member told him that I took it up. He freaked out and started blubbering like a whale about "getting recognition for giving him the guitar" but it sounded like if you pressed you cheeks together and started talking. He walked out afterwards. four minutes later the teacher in the computer lab where Ryan was in came to us telling us that Ryan was crying over it. I felt very satisfied. [editline]3rd June 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=FreakySoup;30218668]Who is Chris-Chan and what are his sexual and angry sides like[/QUOTE] [url=http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Main_Page]Behold![/url]

I have a few derp people at my school. To start off, there's this autistic kid named Tim who rides my bus. He's cool most of the time but he can get annoying. He pretends to be holding a sword and fighting "bad guys" while on the bus. During the whole ride he makes slashing motions at the windows. He also has some thing where he puts "x"'s on people by making an X motion with his finger while pointing at people. He continuously bothers this kid, John. "Hey John, don't put an X on who?" "Tim, don't put an X on anyone" This repeats for like five times until Tim starts putting X's on this girl Kathy that he likes, but she despises him, which is kind of sad. The conversations usually go like this : "But I like you!" "Well I don't" "But I like you!" "Tim, stop" That was just the beginning. He has a special ed friend named Alex, who seems normal, but has a learning disorder or something and talks to himself and does weird stuff sometimes. When I walk past them in the halls sometimes I hear Tim saying, "North Korea is the best Korea!" "Oh, Tim how many times have I told you, don't say that!" A new kid named Patrick is a very disturbing, large, blonde kid with a creepy face. He likes to walk around during lunch period making strange faces, talking to himself, hiding directly behind people at their tables, and pretending to shoot himself and others. I heard from my friend that he walked into the bathroom and he heard Patrick in the stall making weird noises and throwing things in the toilet. There is also a collection of very derp downs kids. I usually hear them walking/running down the hallways making their "DEUHEAHJ" noises with Spec. Ed teachers yelling at them to shut up. One time at a stage production at my school (I'm in the group who works the lights/mics and stuff), one downs kid desperately needed to be an Oompa Loompa during a rehearshal, during which, he is a few seconds behind the other dancers, while waving his arms around and doing random motions. When he ran up the aisle once, he stuck his hand straight into a spotlight. I don't think he actually touched the light, because it would have exploded due to the skin grease, but he stuck his hand in there good.

I volunteer with a summer camp every summer, my friends always do it, and each day is split into a morning activity and an afternoon activity. Anyway, there was this one autistic kid, who didn't really mix with the others, so we'd try chat to him every now and then. One afternoon I asked him "So what did you have this morning", referring to activities, and straight away he replied "cornflakes"

[QUOTE=Uncle_Earl;30210904]One day, he felt daring so he grabs this (rather cute) girl by the hair and screams "go horsey! hop up to it! gidyap!" Gotta thank him for that, though. Punched him in the nose and got a date with the girl.[/QUOTE] That girl must have looked like a horse.

This not-quite-there kid I know once randomly asked a girl in my class how many piercings she had

I remember coming out of class in 8th grade and walking down the hallway, and I saw this autistic kid with crutches walking down the hall (his class was kind of close to my math class, so I saw him walk through there often) when suddenly some guy approached him and started blocking him and dissing him, just bullying the guy. I saw him insult that kid for some time, but he never did it for this long. The autistic kid looked kind of helpless, he just tried to get past that guy but he kept blocking and insulting him, and eventually the guy pushed him. Bad move. As soon as he laid his hands on the autistic kid, I mean right at the moment he did it, that kid grabbed his right crutch with both of his hands and whacked that guys head so hard he fell to the ground. The autistic kid proceeded to kick the shit out of him while he was on the ground, until some teacher saw it and broke it all up. That guy couldn't even walk straight after that. The thing I remember most from that day is laughing my ass off when the the autistic kid just wailed on him. That asshole got what he deserved.

[QUOTE=Glorbo;30230750]I remember coming out of class in 8th grade and walking down the hallway, and I saw this autistic kid with crutches walking down the hall (his class was kind of close to my math class, so I saw him walk through there often) when suddenly some guy approached him and started blocking him and dissing him, just bullying the guy. I saw him insult that kid for some time, but he never did it for this long. The autistic kid looked kind of helpless, he just tried to get past that guy but he kept blocking and insulting him, and eventually the guy pushed him. Bad move. As soon as he laid his hands on the autistic kid, I mean right at the moment he did it, that kid grabbed his right crutch with both of his hands and whacked that guys head so hard he fell to the ground. The autistic kid proceeded to kick the shit out of him while he was on the ground, until some teacher saw it and broke it all up. That guy couldn't even walk straight after that. The thing I remember most from that day is laughing my ass off when the the autistic kid just wailed on him. That asshole got what he deserved.[/QUOTE] That dude must have been stewing in regret for a week or so after that. :iia:

I have a tard cousin who can touch his neck with his tongue [editline]3rd June 2011[/editline] though to be honest I'm not sure the two are related.

Once in primary school, a derpy kid kicked me and my friend in the leg and ran off screaming. When I started secondary school, a black guy, like twice my size asked if I wanted to have sex with him. [IMG]http://i55.tinypic.com/2hpq8ar.jpg[/IMG]

Sometimes i hate people with mental disorder stuff. There's a derp kid at our school, and she has the most annoying voice ever. Every time she speaks her voice goes up dramatically in pitch then plummets down. She also swings her legs outwards when she walks, often kicking people in the shins.

have to wonder how the parents deal with knowing the fact that they must take care of their children for the rest of their lives. Got to wonder where society will draw the line when overpopulation becomes an issue in 1st world countries.

back in the fourth grade one of the low functions missed the toilet and shat on the ground, everyone who wanted too use the bathroom that day had to step around it. That was the last day I ever used public restrooms.

Back in 6th grade there was this one kid with downs syndrome in my geography class, who would usually be somewhat loud and disruptive yet he was extremely shy. One day he's singing for some reason while the teacher's trying to teach, and tells the kid to be quiet. He then breaks down crying and his aid has to comfort him while he's saying, "My heart is burning" "It's on fire" and gives our teacher the evil eye.

Their was this one girl in one of my biology classes, she wasn't retarded or anything, just really odd. She was the size of a narwhal, like I'm not kidding, she was humongous. (I had to sit behind her before, I could not see the board at all.) She was always really socially awkward and would get mad insanely easily. She literally carried a stress ball around with her because of that. She would also pant like a dying hyena, and she was also a weaboo. Anyways one time the class was studying the reproductive cycle, and it was currently about the penis. The whole class was quiet because they were listening, and the second the teacher read the word "penis," she made the sound a retarded dying hippo would make. It was something like "OOOOOaaaRRRRRHHHHHHGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" The whole class just stared at her awkwardly for the next 10 seconds. If you guys want ill write about another story of her.

Thursday: at school chatting with my girlfriend, just as we're about to hug and get on with our day, this derp autistic/downs i think. kid walks up and asks me if I've ever gotten an 11 kill streak on MW2. to which i respond "no... i havent" to which he says "FUCKIN NOOB! IM SO ELITE!!!!" My girlfriend just stares at him walking away like a fucking zombie, she laughs audibly, just audible enough for him to hear... he comes back, and slaps her. I flipped a bitch at that moment, i just punched him in the eye. I ask her if shes ok, she says yes, i see this GIGANTIC red mark on her face. we start walking away when we hear what sounds like the combined sounds of a horde of crows dying from fire, and a whale orgasming. He was crying the typical downs cry when a teacher walks up and looks at me and him, Puts two and two together. Im getting badmouthed by the teacher while shes next to me practically falling apart crying. It was both a horrible experience and a good one. I got to punch that motherfucker. I made my apology to him later, he said it was ok, but his eye hurt. My girly friend says shes cool too, She's just never going to laugh at anybody again i bet. TLDR; downs kid slaps girlfriend, i punch him, but we cool now edit: god damn, thats quite a lot of writing i did there

[QUOTE=Ninja Duck;30230434]That girl must have looked like a horse.[/QUOTE] Sarah Jessica-Parker?

[QUOTE=CoolCorky;30230572]This not-quite-there kid I know once randomly asked a girl in my class how many piercings she had[/QUOTE] What's wrong with that? Seems like a good question to me, unless the girl didn't have any piercings.

Once this retarded kid smacked me with a baseball bat we were using for P.E

[QUOTE=KingKombat;30170868]pretty much the exact reason i made this thread [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/yXqon.png[/IMG][/QUOTE] I'm not sure who the retard is in that story.

Hmm. The only really noticeable retard at my school was a kid named Effie. He had downs, and was an Orthodox Jew, so he always wore a yarmulke and a suit and he was really fucking adorable. I once gave him a dollar for food. WHICH HE USED FOR FOOD. Oh, we also have roving gangs of derp-kids in motorized wheelchairs. They're the scourge of the hallway.

Well, we have this Mentally retarded kid with assistent in class. Btw, he may be(Totaly Must Be,imho) gay. One time, he started talking with his imaginary friend, and then giving HIM BLOW JOB! Again, giving BJ to imaginary friend. Also, when we we're changing clothes for PE, he got a boner from us. Totally disgusting! Also, he crapped and peed his pants several times.

[QUOTE=hula whoop;30197400]there was this one kid who used to be in my classes, I'm not sure what he had though. Anyways, whenever we had a female substitute this guy would stand up, walk to the front of the class and tell the teacher his pants are too tight. Before the teacher could even respond to him he had whipped off his pants and underwear to reveal a raging boner. Every time we had a substitute, every damn time.[/QUOTE] This just fucking made my day. One billion thumbs up for you, mister

Not a mentally handicapped child, but when I was in downtown Bournemouth the other day a homeless man with some form of disorder came up to me and my girlfriend and screamed "YOU DON'T HAVE ANY ID!" and I was kind of shocked because normally when I'm in public that sort of thing doesn't happen. He just looked at me for a few seconds then turned around started laughing to himself whilst playing with his face.

holy shit i will never ever regret making this thread i'm laughing so fucking hard

There's this kid (dunno what he had) a few years below my friends and I at school called Nathan. We've managed to convince him that his name is Brian, we're now trying to change it to Alf. Just like that, wouldn't answer to anyone if they called him Nathan. Anyways he's done some stupid shit. He seriously thought that an energy drink I was drinking was beer, and went to report it to a teacher. After the teacher did nothing about it, I think he went to the fucking principal. Lucky to say (because energy drinks are banned at my school) I didn't get in any trouble. My group also nearly managed to make him mentally break down, as a rare occasion (because it was pouring down outside) my group went into the library, and one of us started playing Halo 1 on a PC there. Nathan was absolutely convinced it was Halo: Reach, he started screaming a minute or two after arguing with him.

Once when i was kicking one autistic kids ass, he said at the end. "This game isn't fun, it hurts"

[QUOTE=Garik;30256085]Once when i was kicking one autistic kids ass, he said at the end. "This game isn't fun, it hurts"[/QUOTE] Were you doing that for no reason? If so, wow you heartless sick bastard.