If Jack the dog helped you, would you help jack the dog?
An infinite amount of scientists walk into a bar. The first asks for half of a beer. The second asks for a quarter of a beer. The third asks for an eighth of a beer. The bartender sighs and pours two beers.
i dont get it
Pretty sure the sum from n=1 to inf of 2^(-n) = 1.
Unless the bartender is pouring one for himself.
what did the flower say to the other flower?
[sp] Nothing. It is impossible for flowers to communicate in verbal languages to one another. [/sp]
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
[sp]He sipped his coffee before it was cool![/sp]
I posted this in GMF once.
How do you start a rave party in Ethiopia?
[sp]You tape a piece of toast to the ceiling[/sp]
Tyrone and Jordan are in a car. Who's driving ?
[sp]The cops.[/sp]
I went to a sex store to buy a dildo, but the clerk gave me a bad vibe.
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
[sp]A carrot[/sp]
What is red and smells like blue paint?
[sp]red paint[/sp]
What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
[sp] Look no hands![/sp]
Why did the chicken cross the road?
[sp]To get to the faggot's house[/sp]
Knock Knock
Who's there?
[sp]The chicken[/sp]
[sp]The chicken who?[/sp]
[sp]You're a faggot[/sp]
What do you call a cow with no legs?
[sp]Ground beef[/sp]
What do you call a cow with two legs?
[sp]Lean beef[/sp]
What's the number one leading cause of divorce?
A stalemate.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. The 'other side' implying a so-called "after life" and suggests that the galline avian had underlying social, mental or emotional instabilities which manifested themselves as suicidal tendencies.
[T]http://www3.canisius.edu/~grandem/electricity/Battery.jpg[/T]
this is a crime
Racist joke inbound :
I once saw a black man picking up a phone on the street and running away with it. I got scared for a second, thought it was mine.
All is good, he was still mowing my lawn.
why do communists drink herbal tea?
because proper tea is theft
what do you call a bucket of wood shavings in a pale?
[sp]a pale of wood shavings[/sp]
Why did the baby smack on the window?
[sp]It was trying to get out of the microwave.[/sp]
Everyone's making jokes about the apocalypse like there's no tomorrow..
Did you guys hear that story about the child molester?
It was a touching story.
I dreamt that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda, but then I realized it was just a Fanta sea.
Pickup line for Asians:
Hey girl
My dick is like a complex math problem
It's hard for you :quagmire:
A joke i've said in a "nerdiest jokes" thread
Why did the chicken cross the brush?
[sp]to get to the other displacement[/sp]
What is Rocky's nickname in the 5th movie?
[sp]Sylvester Alone[/sp]
[QUOTE=flashn00b;45702263]A joke i've said in a "nerdiest jokes" thread
Why did the chicken cross the brush?
[sp]to get to the other displacement[/sp][/QUOTE]
that's shit and not even very good if you know mapping
boooooo you whore
[QUOTE=Dr. Ocsid;45595253][url=http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1185548]Here you go.[/url][/QUOTE]
Sure wish I could see what the jokes the OP posted were. Looks like he deleted them.
A person went to the library, and asked the librarian for a book on suicide.
[sp]The librarian shot him.[/sp]
[QUOTE=Nightscout;45703150]Sure wish I could see what the jokes the OP posted were. Looks like he deleted them.[/QUOTE]
Someone quoted it later on, here...
[QUOTE=doomeddec;36044365]
Hi friends! I made this thread for you to share Gmod jokes! Lemme have the honor to begin:
Why does the mayor have an office!? Because of the chickens and the eggs!
Why does the physgun look at people!? Because all it wants is to move with them (dance)!
Continue!... :D
[/QUOTE]
Did you hear about the joke the Germans made the other day?
It was [i]die [b]wurst![/b][/i]
Alternate Ending:
[sp]There wasn't one, Germans have no sense of humor.[/sp]
How can you tell if it's a snowman or snow woman?
Snow balls.
I literally killed an hour reading Charybdis' joke. For a 4 word punchline.
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