[QUOTE=murple;45905598]what's purple and smells like paint?
[sp]purple paint[/sp][/QUOTE]
What's red and smells like paint?
[sp]red paint[/sp]
What did the sea say to the shore?
[Sp]Nothing, it just waved[/sp]
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve anything that may move faster than the speed of light."
A neutrino walks into a bar.
What has sixteen legs, seven arms, and thirty eyes?
A really ugly person.
How do Russians connect to Facebook?
The internyet.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Take your foot off its head.
"I was watching To Catch a Predator and there was one guy who brought his kid with him. The whole time I was just thinking, 'What a waste, he could've stayed at home to do that, and he wouldn't have gotten arrested.' Just goes to show that eating out is really expensive."
It was a predominantly white collar crowd and they appreciated it more than any of my 'less risque' jokes.
How do you fix a broken dishwasher?
[sp]Slap her[/sp]
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
[sp]None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.[/sp]
Alternate answer:
[sp]11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to ask her boyfriend to do it.[/sp]
[url=http://www.slightlywarped.com/jokes/jokes/incredibly_offensive_jokes.htm]source[/url]
What's the difference between a boy scout and a jew?
[sp]Boy scouts come back from camp.[/sp]
Where did Noah keep the bees?
In the ark hives!
What's a difference between a Jew and a Canoe?
Jews don't tip.
What's faster than a speeding bullet, can leap tall shopping ques in a single bound and has a fear of locomotives?
[sp]A jew with a coupon.[/sp]
Who are the most financially successful in America?
Heh, you guessed it, the jews.
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
[sp]Pizzas don't scream when they are put in the oven![/sp]
Which of the following is an Islamic trait?
A. heading
B. heading
C. heading
Who makes the food in a lesbian relationship?
[sp] No one, they both eat out. [/sp]
How do you deal with a tough child?
[sp]Boil them longer.[/sp]
yo momma so fat she has to rocket jump into bed
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