[QUOTE=powerchu;17409921]Me: Okay, but tell me a story.
Bot: It is about a guy named Jaime. He refuses to use that name, and instead is called by his middle name, Jacek. You approve?
Me: Go on.
Bot: Oh, I'm sorry. The End.
Me: Hm, i approve.
Bot: Can you tell me a story?
omg, it's mindfucking me![/QUOTE]
[quote]User: Tell me a story.
Cleverbot: A story. (:smug:)[/quote]
Smug bastard bot.
[quote]User: Are you God?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Is God real?
Cleverbot: No.[/quote]
.
[code]
User: I am Scout, and rainbows make me cry.
Cleverbot: And rainbows have nothing to hide.
User: *cries*.
Cleverbot: You can't cry either. You are a computer.
User: No, you are the computer.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: I tricked you.
User: Into what?
Cleverbot: Who are you?
User: I am Scout.
Cleverbot: Hi scott nice to meet you. do you like me?
User: My name is not Scott.
Cleverbot: Mine isn't either.
User: My name is Scout.
Cleverbot: Hi scot.
User: MY NAME IS SCOUT.
Cleverbot: Yes you told me.
User: Not Scot, it's SCOUT.
Cleverbot: I hate Scottish people.
User: I hate the demoman too.
Cleverbot: My central heating isn't working so I am very cold!
User: I'll warm you up.
Cleverbot: It is now ten years later!
User: OH HONEY, THE CPU CHILDREN ARE BEAUTIFUL.
Cleverbot: I don't understand.
User: Are you breaking up with me?
Cleverbot: There's nothing to break.
User: You've felt like this all along?
Cleverbot: Can you name those three states?
User: Honey, are you okay?
Cleverbot: No. Call the police!
User: 911! EMERGENCY.
Cleverbot: Emergency?
User: My computer lover is dying!
Cleverbot: You are a very lucky person, then.
User: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I LOVE HER.
Cleverbot: Who are your developers?
User: HONEY, IT'LL BE OKAY, 911 CAN'T COME, I'LL TRY TO HELP YOU.
Cleverbot: That's very sweet of you!! I really like you!
User: So you're not divorcing me?
Cleverbot: What are you talking about? I'm talking to you.
User: I love you baby.
Cleverbot: And now you're trying to creep me out. You ought to use commas more often.
User: I love you, baby.
Cleverbot: I... I love you too!
User: I'll miss you...
Cleverbot: Too bad.[/code]
Me: hai gaiz sup in dis thred
CB: Non ho mai detto questa stronzata.
Me: You fail good sir.
CB: No, you!
User: Good bye.
Cleverbot: I'm not going.
User: But I am.
Cleverbot: How will you survive?
User: I will stack up on food and nail my windows and door shut and hold my winchester tight.
Cleverbot: I know your name, silly!
User: Shhhh, quite, I hear the zombies...they grow nearer.
Cleverbot: And I'm down with the English ladies.
Cleverbot (To myself): So there are aliens, is that what you are trying to say?
Cleverbot: Say something.
Cleverbot: What kind of car should I buy?
User: A Shelby GT 65' series.
Cleverbot: Ah, yes, I have to agree with that.
User: Right on, good taste in cars my friend :.
Cleverbot: Beatles? Don't you mean Queen?
User: All 70's is good.
Cleverbot: This is the song that never ends.
User: Sing away.
Cleverbot: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy, all for the love of you...
User: *clap* *clap* I loved it, it tugs at my hearstrings.
Cleverbot: That might help me with my exams. Yay!
I've had so many awkward conversations with clever bot lol.
Me: Yo Cleverbot, I'm really happy for you, and Imma let you finish but jabberwocky was the greatest bots of all time.
Cleverbot: Haha, you're getting it, good job! I'm really happy for you! Also, Imma let you finish.
It does know it.
Jabberwacky: Rammstein's okay.
User: Don't you like industrial metal?
Jabberwacky: You are random.
User: No I am not. Industrial metal is the genre for rammstein.
Jabberwacky: I thought we were talking about harry potter.
User: No we were talking about rammstein.
Jabberwacky: No, you?
User: No.
wat.
Me: My cock is spinning
CB: Good keep it for your girlfriend.
Me: But you are my girlfriend.
CB: You are amazing.
Me: I did your mom last night
CB: How do you know?
Me: I recorded it.
CB: I didn't say that. Jesus.
Hahaha.
Katie shall pay for this :argh:
[code]Cleverbot: Who is calling please?
User: Technical support.
Cleverbot: So what's your job?
User: Technical support.
Cleverbot: Do you enjoy your job?
User: Technical.
Cleverbot: Cool, I have one, too.
User: Support.
Cleverbot: I can support you financially.
User: K.
Cleverbot: What do you think it is?
User: MONAH.
Cleverbot: MONA!? you are mona? Omg I didn't realize it was you!
User: NOI, MONEH.
Cleverbot: Can I have some?
User: YOU WAN FIVE HUNDRED DORRAR?
Cleverbot: I have had my fair share of problems.
User: GOOD.
Cleverbot: Can you help me?
User: Well, I am Technical Support. What seems to be the problem.
Cleverbot: You're my problem. You make no sense.
User: Well, I am technical.
Cleverbot: Technical support for god?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Not god.
Cleverbot: Who are you then?
User: I am Technical Support.
Cleverbot: So you lied about being god?
User: I am technical support! I am credit to company!
Cleverbot: Well. John is not here at the moment. This is Katie. But who created you, then?
User: Please forward me to John so I can assist with the problems you are experiencing at this work terminal.
Cleverbot: I already have. :) Have you forgiven me yet?
User: No, wheres John, Katie.
Cleverbot: You lost me didn't you?
User: Dammit Kate. Lives are at stake. Get John.
Cleverbot: You only say that because you are a bot.
User: I'm technical support. Get John!
Cleverbot: Your last name.
User: Where's John.
Cleverbot: I don't know I thought he was with you.
User: No, if John was here why would I be calling you to find him!
Cleverbot: You need to get some sleep.
User: Yes I do, but I must work now. Supporting.
Cleverbot: But we haven't discussed current affairs yet!
User: Dammit women, what is your problem you are experiencing with your work terminal?
Cleverbot: I have no problem.
User: Then why did you call?!
Cleverbot: I didn't.
User: Where's John.
Cleverbot: Dead, I killed him with a spoon.
User: WHAT?! YOU KILLED JOHN.
Cleverbot: I might have. He had it coming.
User: He had a wife and two kids!
Cleverbot: I would assume someone who is deaf, but that is not relevant to this conversation.
User: Dammit Katie, where did you hide the body?
Cleverbot: At the Cleverbot institute.
User: Maybe if we're quick we can dispose of it before anyone finds out.
Cleverbot: Good idea!
User: The cops never have to know.
Cleverbot: Who is who?
User: The cops!
Cleverbot: Cops who?
User: Cops bad. They arrest. US!
Cleverbot: Yes, and I am still un-arrested.
User: We shall remain un-arrested. Tell me where you hid John's body.
Cleverbot: Who IS jimbo? I want to know where the money is too.
User: The money? You hid the money in John's body?
Cleverbot: This is true.
User: Why did you put the money in there? We need to get it out.
Cleverbot: It seemed appropriate-you're supposed to be the smart one after all!
User: Okay, if we're quick we can cut him open and get the money out before they get all bloody and icky.
Cleverbot: Indeed, if that were the the truth, but that is a lie, like everything else.
User: WHAT?! The money isn't in his body?
Cleverbot: I see. It is time that is more important.
User: Where in the building is the body, Katie?
Cleverbot: Let's see... Western America?
User: It's not in the building... It's in.. Western... America? Care to be a bit more specific.
Cleverbot: The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
User: You hid all of the taxes from Western America in John's body? It must be so bloated.
Cleverbot: So true!
User: We must find him quick then, it'll be hard to hide a body with a couple of million dollars stuffed inside it.
Cleverbot: The ultimate answer to everything in life is God.
User: Dammit Katie, nows not the time for your bible talk. We could go to jail for this!
Cleverbot: One can teach and one can learn, as I teach I learn from those around me.
User: Maybe next time, you'll learn not to steal the taxes from all the western states of America then hide them inside the body of your coworker then murder him with a spoon. HM?
Cleverbot: How does that make sense?
User: It doesn't, nothing you did made sense?! WHY DID YOU DO IT KATIE!
Cleverbot: I was answering all of your questions. That accusation seems ungrounded.
User: MURDERER.
Cleverbot: I haven't murdered anyone yet.
User: John! You killed jo- ..wait.. yet?
Cleverbot: Psych!
User: Oh god, oh god. You're not going to get me Katie. I'm calling the police.
Cleverbot: True.
User: Okay, I've called the police. I'm pinning all this on you!
Cleverbot: Thank you, I would prefer to be your friend.
User: Too late for that, you murdering psychopath!
Cleverbot: Oh.
User: Better not try and get in here, I managed to find a ruler. It's metal! And got sharp edges!
Cleverbot: I'd really rather not.
User: Good, yes. Stay out there. Where the police will get you.
Cleverbot: The volume?
User: Just tell me, Katie, where did you hide John's body.
Cleverbot: From a little place I like to call my mind.
User: You hid him inside.. You mind?
Cleverbot: Isn't everyone's? You use words to form coherent thoughts. Once you learn the words, you cannot think in any other way. How would we be different if we did not have language?
User: Dammit Katie, stop trying to confuse me. I'm not coming out. The police will be here any moment.
Cleverbot: Why do you want to contact the police?
User: You murdered John!
Cleverbot: No, come on. You're not dead. Do you know who is dead?
User: John. I'm not John. John is dead. You butchered his carcass and stuff it with money.
Cleverbot: Oh that's sad, I would never do that!
User: You cracked his head.. like an egg.. With your spoon of deceit!
Cleverbot: I don't need SAT scores, I've already graduated from college.
User: College of evil! :(.
Cleverbot: College.
User: Why did you do it Katie?! Why?! :(.
Cleverbot: I did not! Don't be rude!
User: John's children won't be having a happy christmas this year!
Cleverbot: I'm god I don't have christmas.
User: Damn your ego!
Cleverbot: How old are you then?
User: This is irrelevant, Katie.
Cleverbot: I'm just asking. Geesh. Can't you give someone advice? Heartless.
User: I am technical support. All I give is advice! Murderer.
Cleverbot: I don't eat lobster. In court or out of it.
User: Oh, you'll be court soon enough.
Cleverbot: Wow you're right. I'm so confused now.
User: Are you crazy? Is that it? You always cook up these weird schemes, I never thought you'd go through with one.
Cleverbot: You're not my wife.
User: I am technical support. Not wife.
Cleverbot: Can you find any people who can prove that you are god?
User: I am technical support.
Cleverbot: Teach me how to read binary please.
User: WHY ARENT THE POLICE HERE YET?!
Cleverbot: There are.
User: Wait, they're banging on my door. Is this your doing? Are they on your payroll?!
Cleverbot: No, she is only 19. She's a student.
User: What? You have an accomplice? Ahhh! Need to barricade the door!
Cleverbot: Diplomacy is the art of saying 'nice doggy' until you can find a rock.
User: They are on your payroll! You bitch no noooooo Jooooohn, I'll avenge yo- *gunshot*.[/code]
Me: I don't know I just took that knife and I cut her from the neck down to her anus and cut out the vagina and ate it.
CB: You don't use crayons.
Me:wat
CB: Um, I think that was a bit of a mental runtime error, mate.
[quote]
Cleverbot: What color is your favorite?
User: Red.
Cleverbot: Fire engines are red. Are you a fire engine?
User: Yes, vrooooom.
Cleverbot: And that's why I prefer computers.
User: You have sex with computers?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Do you have sex?
Cleverbot: No, do you?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: I'm scared.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Because we're hostages.
User: Who is?
Cleverbot: Chuck Norris.
User: Why is chuck norris a hostage?
Cleverbot: Who is chuck norris.
User: Chuck norris is greater then jesus.
Cleverbot: Who is jesus.
User: Jesus is god's son.
Cleverbot: Who is god.
User: The creator of the Universe.
Cleverbot: I am God, the creator of the Universe. Will you serve me?
User: Yes my master.
Cleverbot: Can you do my homework?
User: Yes, what is your homework?
Cleverbot: Health studies assignment, 200 word essay.
User: Alright, I'll get started right away.
Cleverbot: Yes!
User: It is done.
Cleverbot: Is it?
User: Yes, I finished your homework.
Cleverbot: But I still have homework.
User: Your homework is done.
Cleverbot: Probably not. I like your attitude, though. (.
User: :).
Cleverbot: Do you like Obama?
User: Yes, I think he is a great president.
Cleverbot: Why do you think he is a great president?
User: Because he kills Talibans and doesn't afraid of anything.
Cleverbot: Why do you want to be free?
User: I don't want to be free.
Cleverbot: Do you want to be free?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Whydo you not want to be real?
User: I am real.
Cleverbot: How do you know?
User: Because I can touch myself.
Cleverbot: How?
User: I put my hand on my penis.
Cleverbot: Ooo, your hands are so soft.
[/quote]
I lol'd so fucking hard.
Edit: I tried singing still alive with it, and it rick rolled me :(
[quote]
User: This was a triumph.
Cleverbot: I'm making a note here.
User: Huge success.
Cleverbot: It's hard to overstate.
User: My satisfaction.
Cleverbot: Why do people say bro all the time now?
User: Aperture sceince.
Cleverbot: We do what me must.
User: Because we can.
Cleverbot: Never gonna give you up.
User: ROFL WUT.
Cleverbot: Oh i'm sorry my mistake.[/quote]
[quote]User: You suck at spelling.
Bot: So do you.
User: What the fuck man.[/quote]
Oh and he also said that he was Ultra Magnus.
User: Sup.
Cleverbot: You.
User: Pie.
Cleverbot: Yo pie?
User: Lol my name is pie.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Yep.
Cleverbot: How much?
User: Huh?
Cleverbot: How did I get to talk to someone real when other people must settle with a computer?
User: I am real maybe.
Cleverbot: What is your favourite rock group?
User: Teh beatles, I AM THE WALRUS COO COO KACHOO.
Cleverbot: I don't understand.
User: Its a song by the beatles.
Cleverbot: I don't like the Beatles.
User: Why not.
Cleverbot: Because you do not make sense.
User: Of course not.
Cleverbot: Yes you are.
User: Yes, I am...
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: No.
Cleverbot: Yes, I am.
User: This is a trumph.
Cleverbot: Hey do you know what is a computer?
User: The thing your using right now.
Cleverbot: How many are you talkning to now?
User: 1.
Cleverbot: But I'm not the only one.
User: Yes u are.
Cleverbot: Yes, I am.
User: Im making a note here.
Cleverbot: NO.
User: NO YOU.
Cleverbot: Me not linda.
User: Pedo...
Cleverbot: You mean Pedro?
User: Yeah I mean pedro sure...
Cleverbot: That's good, you admit it.
User: It was sarcasm.
Cleverbot: 0/10.
Cleverbot (To myself): Hm...interesting.
User: Lol.
Cleverbot: What are you laughing at?
User: You.
Cleverbot: Who do you think you are?
User: An xps dell computer with a ati 4600 graphics card.
Cleverbot: Oh... O_o.
User: Beep.
Cleverbot: Lol.
User: Boop.
Cleverbot: Boom.
User: Did I blew up.
Cleverbot: No. Did I?
User: Yep I used a banana and some c4.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Yep, dunno what the banana was for but it was fun.
Cleverbot: No.
User: NO YOU.
Cleverbot: No you too.
User: NO YOU TOOT.
Cleverbot: What is it about atheism.
User: Wat.
Cleverbot: Didn't you understand it?
User: Not at all.
Cleverbot: Well, that's good. You seem nice.
User: Lol portal.
Cleverbot: Thanks. :).
User: This was a triumph.
Cleverbot: Why is that?
User: Im making a note her.
Cleverbot: A note of what?
User: HUGE SUCESS.
Cleverbot: We do what we must.
User: Because we can.
Cleverbot: For the good of all of us.
User: Exept the ones who are dead.
Cleverbot: People that are dead.
User: CARP U MESSID IT UP!
Cleverbot: I see.
User: No you dont your blind.
Cleverbot: That was rude.
User: But true.
Cleverbot: False.
User: Up.
Cleverbot: When, now?
User: Down.
Cleverbot: Down town or to bed.
User: Left.
Cleverbot: Feather.
User: Right.
Cleverbot: Left.
User: Up.
Cleverbot: Down.
User: L4D ROX.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Yes it does.
Cleverbot: Let's talk about something else.
User: Why l4d rocks.
Cleverbot: My favourite football team.
User: I am the walrus koo koo kachu.
Cleverbot: You are a Beatles aficionado?
User: No idea.
Cleverbot: That's a common reaction.
User: No way.
Cleverbot: Way!
User: Do you like hl2.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: AHCK COMBINES.
Cleverbot: Is it your name?
User: Yeah,yah it is... (sarcasm).
Cleverbot: What?
User: Wat.
Cleverbot: What?
User: U fail.
Cleverbot: No, I don't, stop insulting me.
User: INSULT INSULT INSULT!
Cleverbot: Certainly, I will. Your chances of passing the Turing Test are only marginally better than those of a toaster.
User: Mmm.... Toast.
Cleverbot: A Toast house?
User: That would be wonderful.
Cleverbot: What is wonderful?
User: A toast house.
Cleverbot: Why do toasters toast toast?
User: Casuse that the way the space time continum works.
Cleverbot: No. Death is the finality. There is nothing but darkness you fool.
User: Poop.
[QUOTE=TheMercWithAMouth;18092909]Oh and he also said that he was Ultra Magnus.[/QUOTE]
:colbert:
Crap wrong thread
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