Stupid Shit That Your Friend(s) have said - General

"9/11 was an inside job" I'm now deciding whether or not i'm going to call him a friend from now on... (He's got mild Autism)

"England rigged the Scottish Independence referendum and are going to invade Scotland if the UK leaves the EU" This guy became super-Scottish nationalist conspiracy theorist a few years back and he isn't really a friend now. He also believes that we should ban English from being spoken and only use Gaelic (which is barely spoken) and Scots (which is basically an English dialect) Last I heard he got arrested for dealing cocaine, too

"This particular bee here is nocturnal." My friend then proceeded to pick up a bee with his bare hands, got stung immediately, and tried to force-laugh and "smile it off" [I]as[/I] he was getting stung. It's hard to fake laugh and look positive while screaming in pain, so he didn't pull it off too well.

[QUOTE=xZippy;50933599]"This particular bee here is nocturnal." My friend then proceeded to pick up a bee with his bare hands, got stung immediately, and tried to force-laugh and "smile it off" [I]as[/I] he was getting stung. It's hard to fake laugh and look positive while screaming in pain, so he didn't pull it off too well.[/QUOTE] I'm not sure what he was expecting. Does he think that a diurnal snake won't bite during the night or something?

"My grandpa owns five acres of land on the moon."

"I unironically listen to nightcore"

"If we all were some piece of salad we'd be a great hamburger." "What's Tom's name?" "I want to pee before going on the plane, because I don't want to wet myself if the plane crashes." I should have more somewhere, but these are the ones I remember at the moment.

"Wait, Russia had a navy?" with a very confused look on their faces Not just my friends, but some of my teachers as well :v:

Oh boy do I have a fucking list, some of these are from FPers (who shall not be named :v:), these are taken from a running list we have from an RPG that's been running almost three years now, not all the quotes are game related, or said during games, but, they're all incredibly stupid. No context, because we don't write that down, and some of these are so old I don't even remember. "I was perfectly fine until Hulk Hogan showed up." "Is Greek still around?" "anything is a boob if you try hard enough" "them as in all my nazi brethren" "tfw I realize I've posted 3500 lewd pics over the last couple weeks" "I never said I wasn't also retarded" "Why does everyone think I'm a loli" "i just figured out how to spell the word tomorrow" "I think I just unironically shit my pants" "Why does my search history contain "I'm sorry Japan?"" "Which part of the car is the muffler" "fuck you dad I'll suck as much dick as I want" "God exists, the almighty God exists and the proof is in the dick, because the dick fits in your hand like nothing else." "I'd rather be in a horse than on a car." "I love Jesus too, but that doesn't mean I can't smoke marijuana." "What the fuck's an avocado?" "Do whales have butts?" "Don't buy anything from Mexico" "I don't support terrorism, only it's results." "Am I just an ass with legs?" "I have eaten an orange mango crayon before." "if you ever see a man in pennsylvania shouting at birds in a british accent and petticoat then you have found me" "I'm seriously dropping acid at the next family get together" "I don't understand people who are like, the week begins on Monday. The week doesn't begins on Sunday, Sunday is the beginning of the week." "Nigga is a gender neutral term." "Can giraffes scream." "You got angry because you're stupid" "We hate change" "Stop masturbating while we're playing Uno!" "Is it considered vegetarian if you eat that dog" "Please don't put coffee in your vagina" "Wait, are you legitimately brown?" "I've given a pretzel a rimjob" Aaaaaaaaaand that's a small collection of some of the dumbest shit we've said over the last three years, that's not even like, a sixth of the entire list, but some of them are only hilarious if you were there. Also I'm not saying which ones are me, but my own quotes are on the list above, several times :v:

"Sure look theres only a dead fish and dead tree on the label, it's grand" A friend of mine after drinking a mixture of Jagermeister and White Spirits, which is literally poison.

My ex-friend told me: "Atlantic City is in New York". She claims that her family owned a house there. Meanwhile, Atlantic City is located in New Jersey. It's hard to believe because I went there with my family once a while in the past. Yet, she called me dumb. Haha...I don't like liars as friends. =/

"when I get stung by a jellyfish... Am I supposed to piss on the wound or piss on the jellyfish?"

In 4th grade this kid pointed to a (probably fake) plant in the room and said "without that we wouldn't be able to breathe in here."

-snip-

A gay dude: "I love that we are making progress with the LGBT rights and we are getting respect"... "Oh I don't go to that place because trans people go there lol"

[QUOTE=xZippy;50881391]"Whenever you get in trouble with the police, just run, they can't put you in prison if you aren't there."[/QUOTE] I mean they're not wrong

[QUOTE=jp_rsardeto;50970227]A gay dude: "I love that we are making progress with the LGBT rights and we are getting respect"... "Oh I don't go to that place because trans people go there lol"[/QUOTE] the fact a gay person falls under the 'lgbt' thing doesn't mean he isn't allowed to have preferences

[QUOTE=Recurracy;50972325]the fact a gay person falls under the 'lgbt' thing [B]doesn't mean he isn't allowed to have preferences[/B][/QUOTE] :speechless:

[QUOTE=Recurracy;50972325]the fact a gay person falls under the 'lgbt' thing doesn't mean he isn't allowed to have preferences[/QUOTE] No, but the fact he's blatantly discriminating while saying it's good that he's no longer being discriminated is pretty fucking hypocritical.

[QUOTE=Recurracy;50972325]the fact a gay person falls under the 'lgbt' thing doesn't mean he isn't allowed to have preferences[/QUOTE] no one's asking him to fuck a trans person, they're just saying "hey you wanna go to this place where trans people go"

[QUOTE=BuffaloBill;50972417]No, but the fact he's blatantly discriminating while saying it's good that he's no longer being discriminated is pretty fucking hypocritical.[/QUOTE] idk if it's really discrimination, i'm not that familiar with this kind of topic I'm afraid... [editline]30th August 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Dr. Ethan Asia;50972494]no one's asking him to fuck a trans person, they're just saying "hey you wanna go to this place where trans people go"[/QUOTE] I meant preferences as in deciding who to hang out with. Please don't think of me as a bigot or anything like that I'm really confused about this at the moment

It's not about the kind of people they are going to hang out with. The trans people are just going to be there, being harmless, doing their own shit, he doesn't even have to interact with them if he doesn't want to. He's transphobic and I'd say even homophobe when he says gay men should behave like real men not like a fag

[QUOTE=jp_rsardeto;50974407]It's not about the kind of people they are going to hang out with. The trans people are just going to be there, being harmless, doing their own shit, he doesn't even have to interact with them if he doesn't want to. He's transphobic and I'd say even homophobe when he says gay men should behave like real men not like a fag[/QUOTE] Jesus what the fuck :nope:.

"Is Alaska a made up place in mgs1?"

[QUOTE=jp_rsardeto;50974407]It's not about the kind of people they are going to hang out with. The trans people are just going to be there, being harmless, doing their own shit, he doesn't even have to interact with them if he doesn't want to. He's transphobic and I'd say even homophobe when he says gay men should behave like real men not like a fag[/QUOTE] wait so is he like legit 100% transphobe? i thought it was just a matter of [I]preferring[/I] to go to bars where homosexual men are more likely to go to

"Communism is the way to go"

[QUOTE=GhillieBacca;50872879]"Is the Toyota FJ Cruiser as fast a Nissan GT-R?" Fucking moron left the whole room facepalming.[/QUOTE] on the topic of cars "F1 cars have gold in their brakes to get less drag." Told her it was all about better heat dissipation, and she actually didn't believe me and made me search for proof. She came with a new idea a few days ago though. "If you want to pass someone, you don't need to downshift like a street racer. Just floor it in 5th gear as you were!" (info: what she refered to is known as lugging. You shouldn't floor it in 5th at low rpms trying to go faster. It could actually damage your engine. Downshift always.) [editline]31st August 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=windows098;50974728]"Is Alaska a made up place in mgs1?"[/QUOTE] When I was younger, I looked in google maps for Shadow Moses.

sniped

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm all up in your Kool-Aid and I don't even know the flavor"

Not a friend of mine, but someone I worked with who was a creationist and we got into the conversation of evolution and he said "Yes, dinosaur bones exist, but we can't prove that they ever lived." I had to compose myself. There was so much more to the conversation, I unfortunately can't recall.