Why did the baby claw on the window?
[sp]it was trying to get out of the microwave[/sp]
I like my women how I like my Scotch.
12 years old and bottled up in a cupboard.
Treat your women like you treat fine wine.
[sp]Locked in the cellar.[/sp]
Did you hear princess Diana was on the radio?
And the dashboard, windscreen and road.
What do you call 100 Indians running down a hill?
Mudslide
Stop the black jokes, I have black people in my family tree.
[sp]And I'd like to keep them hanging there[/sp]
I was about to make a 9/11 joke but that would've been just plane wrong.
I saw a black guy walking down the street carrying a television and I thought it might be mine, but then I realized mine was still at home shining my shoes!
Why did the semen cross the road?
[sp]I put on the wrong sock this morning[/sp]
What's worse then the holocaust?
Women's rights...
Who has the best K/D radio in history?
Hitler.
[QUOTE=9Clockwork;42952563]Who has the best K/D radio in history?
Hitler.[/QUOTE]
actually stalin had a higher k/d
[QUOTE=da_maul;42952642]actually stalin had a higher k/d[/QUOTE]
mao zedong best k/d all time
A black person walked into a bar with a parrot on his head.
The bartender smiles to the two and says, "Where'd you get one of those?"
"I found him in Africa." The parrot says.
A man walks into a talent agent's office, and says, "We're a family act, and we'd like you to represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too old-fashioned."
The man says, "But this is really special."
The agent says, "Okay, well what's the act?"
He replies, "Well, my wife and I come out on stage and she begins to sing the "Star Spangled Banner" while I take her roughly from behind.
After a minute of this, my kids come out and begin to do the same, but my daughter's singing the original "To Anacreon in Heaven" lyrics while my son performs anal sex on her."
The agent looks uncomfortable, but the man continues, "Just when my daughter hits the highest note in the song, my son and I switch partners. He turns my wife around and gives her a dirty Sanchez before having her perform oral sex on him.
When the song's over and we're both getting close, we all stop and lie down on the stage."
The man smiles fondly as he recalls, "This is the best part: our dog then comes out on the stage, and he's trained to lick each one of us to orgasm in turn. He just goes right down the line, looking as happy as can be! We all get up and take a bow."
He looks at the agent and says, "Well, that's the act. What do you think?"
The agent just sits in silence for a long time. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call yourselves?" '
[sp]"The Aristocrats!"[/sp]
Knock Knock
Who's there
Attention Deficit Cow
Attention Deficit Cow, who?
Let's get racecars!
Are we allowed to type story/anecdotes?
An Irish man walks out of a bar.
What looks best on a black man?
[sp] A guard dog[/sp]
why did hitler kill so many jews
[sp]mostly because he had a deep hatred for them for most of his life he was also a bit crazy[/sp]
why do black people eat watermelon
[sp]actually some black people do not eat watermelon very strange but most cases involve them simply liking the flavor[/sp]
Whats really dirty?
[sp]Fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring[/sp]
What do you do if you see your TV floating away at night?
[sp]Get up and punch the black guy stealing it[/sp]
What do you do if you see your fridge floating away at night?
[sp]Nothing. That's a damn big black guy![/sp]
Sex jokes are overdone, [B]butt fun[/B]ny.
whats brown and gurgles
a baby in a casserole
A jews ultimate dilemma?
Free pork
How do black women know when they are pregnant?
When they take out their tampon and all the cottons been picked
Political Correctness in this country is a fucking joke. It's at a point where it's almost illegal to talk! I can't even say "Black paint" anymore I have to say "Wayne, you missed a spot over there."
Whats the difference between mexicans and Jesus?
Jesus does not have mexicans tattooed all over him
A man was walking his dog through the graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone.
"Morning!" he said.
The other man replies, "No, just having a shit."
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world."
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
Why did the Jews cry when they walked inside a coffee shop?
Because it was a concentration camp
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