[QUOTE=James*;17393369]raz-bree[/QUOTE]
maybe it's because you might come from a different country, but no.
Orange Shoe
[QUOTE=James*;17393369]raz-bree[/QUOTE]
Well, there's your problem.
Why on earth would you pronounce "berry" as "bree" ...
[QUOTE=Bad)-(and;17393543]Well, there's your problem.
Why on earth would you pronounce "berry" as "bree" ...[/QUOTE]
Well it's more like 'burry' but it sounds like bree when said quickly or as plural
Probs a local thing but even if you say berry you don't pronounce canary 'ca-nerry' do you
[QUOTE=James*;17393568]Well it's more like 'burry' but it sounds like bree when said quickly or as plural[/QUOTE]
Hahaha... Yay for accents, they always destroy rhyming.
Rahs-beh-ree <= US pronounciation that rhymes in context.
[QUOTE=James*;17393568]Well it's more like 'burry' but it sounds like bree when said quickly or as plural
[/QUOTE]
ummm you don't pronounce it like "bree" when it's a plural.
[QUOTE=pie_is_good;17393656]ummm you don't pronounce it like "bree" when it's a plural.[/QUOTE]
Well you know what I mean
To me raspberries sounds like raz-brees :v:
Anyway probably over-analysing now
Will you guys shut up with the rhymes I fucking hate rhymes.
They remind me of bad times.
[editline]08:51PM[/editline]
FFFFfffffffffffffu--
Orange Door-hinge
Orange - shut the fuck up, nobody cares.
I think that rhymes.
[img]http://lh3.ggpht.com/_dlkAw43cLC0/SSgQ_TstPeI/AAAAAAAAA8g/QcFUbboNfMk/s800/01-japan.jpg[/img]
[img]http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/105477/original.jpg[/img]
[img]http://lh6.ggpht.com/_dlkAw43cLC0/SSgRJ9HKSxI/AAAAAAAAA-4/MuAyB-6smPI/s800/20-church.jpg[/img]
[editline]09:05PM[/editline]
Don't Argue With The Gay Flight Attendant
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed an extremely well-dressed and exotic young woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch."
[QUOTE=Heatvision...;17393251]Neither does Kiwi and Marquee[/QUOTE]
Seaweed is close enough.
Puns...for your enjoyment.
[b] LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):[/b]
[quote] 1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
30. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
31. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
32. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
33. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
34. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
35. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
36. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
37. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
38. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
39. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
40. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
41. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
42. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
43. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
44. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
45. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
46. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.[/quote]
Who the fuck rated me artistic?
I didn't make these, just copy and pasted them.
When you see it...
Tagged for bigness.
[media]http://i34.tinypic.com/25s2b7b.jpg[/media]
Taken from
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?p=17394035#post17394035[/url]
[QUOTE=NecronLord15;17394417]
[img]http://ares.funnyexam.com/content/1639/resized/giraffe.jpg?1236739786[/img][/QUOTE]
I tried that, but my teacher just drew blood all over the giraffe and a knife to its neck.
:saddowns:
[QUOTE=The Epidemic;17394473]I tried that, but my teacher just drew blood all over the giraffe and a knife to its neck.
:saddowns:[/QUOTE]
You sound like you have an interesting teacher.
[editline]09:36PM[/editline]
A man wakes up with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open
his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins
and a glass of water on the side table. He sees his clothing
in front of him, all cleaned and pressed. He looks around the
room and sees it is in perfect order. So's the rest of the
house. He takes his aspirins and notices a note on the table:
Honey,
Breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping.
I Love you.
He goes to the kitchen. Sure enough, a hot breakfast and the
morning newspaper await him. His son is also at the table,
eating. The man asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and
delirious. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway,
and gave yourself a black eye when you walked into the door."
Confused, the man asks, "So why is everything in order and
so clean, with breakfast on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your pants off you shouted,
"LADY, GET YOUR DAMNED HANDS OFF OF ME! I'M MARRIED!"
[QUOTE=NecronLord15;17394417]
[img]http://ares.funnyexam.com/content/1639/resized/giraffe.jpg?1236739786[/img][/QUOTE]
did that and it worked
physics teacher gave me 3 extra points, got me an A-
[QUOTE=NecronLord15;17394532]You sound like you have an interesting teacher.
[editline]09:36PM[/editline]
A man wakes up with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open
his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins
and a glass of water on the side table. He sees his clothing
in front of him, all cleaned and pressed. He looks around the
room and sees it is in perfect order. So's the rest of the
house. He takes his aspirins and notices a note on the table:
Honey,
Breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping.
I Love you.
He goes to the kitchen. Sure enough, a hot breakfast and the
morning newspaper await him. His son is also at the table,
eating. The man asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and
delirious. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway,
and gave yourself a black eye when you walked into the door."
Confused, the man asks, "So why is everything in order and
so clean, with breakfast on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your pants off you shouted,
"LADY, GET YOUR DAMNED HANDS OFF OF ME! I'M MARRIED!"[/QUOTE]
Don't get it..
[QUOTE=chewybloke;17395049]Don't get it..[/QUOTE]
Get what, the giraffe? He was just screwing around with the teacher, and the teacher went along with it.
Well, that was weird, when i quoted it, you quoting me didn't show up.
The wife was so happy with her husband, because most men cheat on there wives when they're drunk. He was drunk, and when she was taking off his pants, which a normal drunk would think "Awesome, lets fuck" he said "IM MARRIED!"
Content:
[img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_oFN5FV7Qr9c/Sb_FqEwJGjI/AAAAAAAACEo/20U0zX88ir8/s400/047_fail.jpg[/img]
Its not from failblog, which means some other asshole put fail on it. This isn't a fail unless her husband/kids was there.(Unless He's gay)
now she got teeth marks in her dildo.
[editline]10:17PM[/editline]
Fuck you I'm not late.
Disregarding that statement
[quote]On the first day, God created the dog and said:
‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in
or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’
The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten
years and I’ll give you back the other ten?’
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
‘Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give
you a twenty-year life span.’
The monkey said: ‘Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like
the Dog did?’
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
‘You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer
under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s
family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.’
The cow said: ‘That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for
sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
‘Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you
twenty years.’
But man said: ‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty,the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and
the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?’
‘Okay,’ said God, ‘You asked for it.’
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I’m doing it
as a public service.[/quote]
That picture is as old as the internet ^
Never seen it before. Disregard that outburst, and instead, focus on this.
[quote][B]Lesson 1: Naked Wife[/B]
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…
“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
[B]Lesson 2[/B]
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the admin. clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
[B]Lesson 3[/B]
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
[B]Lesson 4[/B]
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
[B]Lesson 5: Power of Charisma[/B]
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.
[B]Lesson 6[/B]
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut! [/quote]
Made it a while ago. i lol'd.
[img]http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/9870/stathaml.jpg[/img]
[url]http://webone.com.au[/url]
We bone?
[url]http://www.potsofart.com[/url]
Pot so fart?
[url]http://www.daleshitchinstation.com[/url]
dale shit chin station?
[url]http://www.teacherstalk.co.uk[/url]
Teachers stalk? Im not sure if i wanna know those teachers or not.
[url]http://www.wtf.org[/url]
World Taekwondo Federation...sure...
[url]http://mp3shits.com[/url]
MP3 shits? Thats some wierd shit to listen too (No pun intended)
[url]http://www.dollarsexchange.com[/url]
I did'nt even know that was an option.
[url]http://www.gotahoe.com[/url]
As a matter of fact I don’t but thanks for asking Mr. Pimp.
[QUOTE=NecronLord15;17388389][img]http://extra.listverse.com/amazon/unfortunateproducts/erpix1.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
I have something just like that. I tried to build a perpetual motion machine
[sp]time for dumb ratings[/sp]
[QUOTE=NecronLord15;17396677][url]http://webone.com.au[/url]
We bone?
[url]http://www.potsofart.com[/url]
Pot so fart?
[url]http://www.daleshitchinstation.com[/url]
dale shit chin station?
[url]http://www.teacherstalk.co.uk[/url]
Teachers stalk? Im not sure if i wanna know those teachers or not.
[url]http://www.wtf.org[/url]
World Taekwondo Federation...sure...
[url]http://mp3shits.com[/url]
MP3 shits? Thats some wierd shit to listen too (No pun intended)
[url]http://www.dollarsexchange.com[/url]
I did'nt even know that was an option.
[url]http://www.gotahoe.com[/url]
As a matter of fact I don’t but thanks for asking Mr. Pimp.[/QUOTE]
[url]http://www.therapistfinder.com/[/url]
[QUOTE=NecronLord15;17394026]Puns...for your enjoyment.
[b] LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):[/b]
Who the fuck rated me artistic?
I didn't make these, just copy and pasted them.[/QUOTE]
My brain has been giggling for several minutes now.
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