Granted but you get food poisoning.
I wish the word "inflammable" actually meant: Can't be set on fire.
Granted but the word's definition was set on opposite day.
I wish to do good on my next test!
[QUOTE=LorencBag;38417623]I wish to do good on my next test![/QUOTE]
Granted but it was a practice test, you fail the actual one.
I wish for Gen Y to become smarter.
Granted, but the word is now spelled (not pronounced) "Sharon Stone", the strange phenomena leads to scientist the world over becoming obsessed with it to the point of insanity as a plot ala Uzimaki plays out but on a global scale and the shape being the likeness of actress Sharon Stone rather than spirals.
_____________________________
GORRAMNIT
ninjas. . .
Granted, but because I do not know who this is, anyone who happens to have the name Gen Y gains infinite knowledge. This leads to a young (and poorly named) Chinese dishwasher gaining true knowledge of the hearts of men. He uses this to charm his fellow Chinese citizens to rise up against his government and lead a devastating military campaign throughout history that would span across the globe, taking many a nation by diplomacy or brutal force, becoming leader of what would later named the Fourth Reich. The new found leader, in his infinite knowledge, would lead the world through an era of peace and wisdom, gaining many friends and disposing of many an enemy before they could become a threat, always knowing what would happen beforehand. Gen Y would then, after many peaceful years of rule, become greatly paranoid; for throughout his life he had noticed that his flow of knowledge of the future had stopped at a very specific point, and that this point was growing close. He had once brushed it off as simply the day of his death, but having recently found that he had knowledge of the secret to immortality, he had slowly realized to his growing horror what it had truly meant. He had seen the signs, the poor crops, the cold summers, the vanishing of entire towns into the thick mists that began to enclose his kingdom as the nigh endless grey days had hidden the sun behind an endless blanket of dark clouds and hale. But no, it was not these that had confirmed this for him. It was when, six months ago, he had attended a royal showing of Shakespeare's [I]Julius Caesar[/I] only for the actor playing the character of the soothsayer to simply die after shouting to Julius, "Beware the Ides of March." March was upon his people now, and the Emporer resigned himself to fate, sitting alone upon his throne as the sky turned black and the world faded to an unending darkness. Even he, in his infinite knowledge knew not how to stop the inevitable.
So your wish is futile, my friend, as no man can stop the end of the universe no matter how smart he may be. Only Master Chief can do that.
I wish I had the gift of flight.
granted you have a plane ticket
I wish that I could own a black man, an Asian ,a white man and a pet monkey.
[QUOTE=aldot4;38418018]granted you have a plane ticket
I wish that I could own a black man, an Asian ,a white man and a pet monkey.[/QUOTE]
Granted, but they are just corpses.
I wish I could go to Canada.
granted, you go to Canada bu you get eaten by a bear
I wish for a greatsword.
Granted but the moment you touch it, it merges with both your hands. Have fun fapping.
I wish I no longer had to eat food at the cost of doubling my intake of water.
granted, but you can only get water from squeezing it out of cow shit
i wish i could have a portal gun
[QUOTE=aldot4;38419048]granted, but you can only get water from squeezing it out of cow shit
i wish i could have a portal gun[/QUOTE]
Granted, GlaDOS kills you with neurotoxins though.
I wish I could go to space!
Granted, you are naked in space.
I wish every voice in my head would shut up.
Granted...........annnnnnd, you're dead. Did your eyeballs pop out, or did you just suffocate?
I wish that I was darkness, that I was the night, that I was Batman!
[B]EDIT[/B]
NINJAED BY A SLOTH! Granted, they all shut up, including yours. Enjoy being catatonic.
Granted, but you're now blind and is living in a eternal darkness.
I wish I can fly
Right into the side of an erupting volcano.
I wish I couldn't die.
Granted. Now you are dead, and can no longer die.
I wish I were SUPAMAAAAAN!
Granted. You are now have the strength and abilities of superman. Enjoy breaking everything you touch.
I wish for some bleach in a bottle to be poured down every republican politician's mouth and have none of them survive it.
Granted, but you end up spilling some down your mouth and now you can't speak. *SORRY :(
I wish I could divide by zero.
Granted. The universe is now sucked into a massive black hole and a light appears that says:
[B]Level Two.[/B]
I wish for the anti-life equation.
Granted, you are know dead.
I wish for a time machine.
Granted, it's a crashing car, and you go all Rant
I wish for a Faustian bargain.
Congratulations. You get nothing.
I wish for a [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Magic_Pudding"]Magic Pudding[/URL].
Granted, you become blind.
I wish for a sloth.
But Iceman! You are a Sloth!
And now you are a dead.
I wish I had the ability to write down the stuff in my head so I could be productive.
granted but you write everything. and you cant undo it, "the primary concept of... is ... wow she has a nice ass...the most important part being... mmmmm whats for lunch?"
I wish that sloth was faster.
Granted, I can now move at the speed of sound, I will find you, and I will kill you.
[QUOTE=aldot4;38420978]Granted but you write everything. and you cant undo it, "the primary concept of... is ... wow she has a nice ass...the most important part being... mmmmm whats for lunch?"[/QUOTE]
I don't have internal monologue.
I wish I could meet the grim reaper, have a friendly chat with him and then go our separate ways (W/O me dying).
[QUOTE=Lolx0rz;38421057]Granted, I can now move at the speed of sound, I will find you, and I will kill you.
I don't have internal monologue.
I wish I could meet the grim reaper, have a friendly chat with him and then go our separate ways (W/O me dying).[/QUOTE]
Granted, but you were dead when you met him.
I wish I had a source of income that didn't require me to work. I don't care if I'm rich, I just want moniez.
Well that job requires you to lay in bed all day. And due to you getting no exercise you gain over 800 pounds and eventually die of extreme obesity.
I wish I could swim in a giant pool of Jell-o.
Granted, but that Pool of Jell-o then comes alive and begins to eat you as a Blob and then slowly disappears so that no one will ever know how you died.
I wish I had a machine that could travel through different types of Universes.
You can't breathe in space.
I wish I had a machine that could travel through different types of Universes, with a built in spacesuit.
The Space suit breaks.
I wish that I wish Swedish and I could speak the language fluently along with English.
Edit: Oh hey pageking
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