[QUOTE=Mr.Twizzle;38428445]I wish that I wish Swedish and I could speak the language fluently along with English.[/QUOTE]
You already garbled the English language and now you want to do it to Swedish? Okay but you can now only use sign language.
I wish for a fishy stick.
Granted, but you are now a closet fish.
I wish for better German classes.
Granted, but everyone in there speaks spanish.
I wish for every game.
Granted, but all your games are from the Call Of Duty franchise.
I wish I had a Gabe Newell pinata.
Granted, but in every game you play you find an animated texture of me viciously raping you in the ass, without lube, and with a santa hat on, screaming "YOU'VE BEEN A GOOD LITTLE BOY THIS YEAR" at the top of my lungs.
I wish I didn't have to take all these pills.
[editline]12th November 2012[/editline]
fucking ninja
Granted. You now have to take all these suppositories.
I wish I didn't have all these burns on my legs.
Granted, but they move to your face.
I wish for you to post that cat.
Hitler is re-born and the cat turned out to be a jew.
I wish to be the last man on this earth.
Granted, you now live alone with nothing but poisonous snakes to keep you company.
I wish the banana industry to grow in Jamaica
Granted, however, they use a chemical that increases the growth rate of bananas by 200% that's made out of recently killed humans and elephant testicles.
I wish for new headphones
Granted but they're diamond beats and now you look like a cunt.
I wish for a new game.
Granted, but it's on a real console, which you don't own.
I wish for a lie detector which can detect lies simply by pointing it at people, and it's 100% flawless in its operation.
Granted - but you cannot figure out which direction to point the device.
I wish for a tinfoil hat.
Granted, people now know you are nuts and stigmatize you.
I wish for supple hands.
Granted, you then get a career as a hand model but after 5 years of success and fame your rival decides to ruin you, your hands are almost destroyed completely, you can no longer use them and your spouse divorces you for them. You are then driven to the brink of suicide and attempt to jump off the Golden Gate bridge only to survive with almost every bone broken in your body. Unable to pay the medical fees you whore yourself out at truck-stops and eventually die from several STDs alone, in a trailer park.
I wish to be able to fall asleep and wake up at times that I set.
Granted, but when you do an ear-shattering alarm clock sounds, and you go deaf after but four uses.
I wish the Simpsons was funny again.
Granted, but you can only ever watch the Simpsons, talk about the Simpsons and think about the Simpsons. Anything not Simpsons related will cause you to have a migraine.
I wish I knew everything.
Granted, your intellect evolved you into a being outside time and space. You can bend and morph universe at your will. Turns out you're the god everyone worships and all you can do is sit and watch earth population tear itself apart because of religion. You try and change the timeline several times, all end in the same result.
I wish to be a bar of chocolate.
[QUOTE=Shadow7;38438228]Granted, your intellect evolved you into a being outside time and space. You can bend and morph universe at your will. Turns out you're the god everyone worships and all you can do is sit and watch earth population tear itself apart because of religion. You try and change the timeline several times, all end in the same result.[/QUOTE]
Why would I care? If it is an invariable state then I'mma just fuck around with my omnipotence.
[QUOTE=Shadow7;38438228]I wish to be a bar of chocolate.[/quote]
Granted but it causes the apocalypse.
I wish the guy below me was a cabbage.
Granted, but you're the 'raisin and oatmeal' kind, and nobody likes you.
I wish nobody here was a dickbag ninja who doesn't appear on the users reading bar at the bottom but still manages to fuck up what would have been a perfectly linear post.
Sorry, Ninjas are immune to wishes unless they are the ones making them.
I wish for a time when BLOOD RAINED FROM THE SKY!
Granted, but it rains blood from the sky for a week and the entire landscape becomes painted with dried blood and smells awful.
I wish to have a table that isn't broken.
Granted, but it breaks.
I wish for a shotgun.
[QUOTE=THATCAKEISASPY;38438431]Granted, but it rains blood from the sky for a week and the entire landscape becomes painted with dried blood and smells awful.[/QUOTE]
That's sort of the idea.
[QUOTE=Cabbage;38438449]I wish for a shotgun.[/QUOTE]
It blows up in your face on the first use.
I wish to be more of a ninja.
Granted, but you get ninja'd.
I wish for catgirls to get real.
Granted but they only like male cats.
I wish for world hunger.
Granted but you become obese and everyone assumes you're the fucker who's been eating all the food.
I wish for a new page.
Granted, you aren't the pageking.
I wish for a snake.
Granted, but it eats you and your sloth body.
I wish that Earth was fully explored.
The snake is venemous and bites you.
I want the zone to disappear.
[editline]13th November 2012[/editline]
fucking...
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