Corrupt a wish!

[Muthenfrucheir]

You are eternal butt slave to the [i]robot[/i] devil.

I wish for a key. To something.

[Kartoffel]

Granted. It's a key to Pandora's box. [i]Ohh the temptation[/i].

I wish for Half Life 3 to come out.

[MazerRackham]

Granted, Gearbox has been working on it this whole time! Sort of.

I wish masturbation was an olympic event.

[SilverSpectrum]

[QUOTE=MazerRackham;39595028]I wish masturbation was an olympic event.[/QUOTE]
Granted, but it's a circlejerk and you're always in the middle of the circle.
[sp]Unless you're into that sort of thing.[/sp]
I wish I could go back in time and stop life devastating mistakes and choices.

[Makrin]

Granted, but you can only do it for bacteria.

I wish I didn't get writers' block so often.

[Lordgeorge16]

Granted, but writing is now the only thing you can think about. Your brain can no longer process eating, sleeping, or any other vital bodily functions.

I wish I could plug my iPod into my head and listen to my music wherever I go.

[Foxconn]

Granted, but only with speakers enabled so everybody can hear your precious Justin Bieber, that you listen to.

I wish for an assault rifle.

[Lolx0rz]

Granted but it breaks before you can fire it.

I wish for some chocolate milk.

[TheDevl]

Granted, but it's rotten.

I wish for this wish to be corrupted.

[Xonax]

Granted, but the wish is not Corrupted.

I wish for a Lollipop and a Hotdog.

[Fulcrum]

[QUOTE=Xonax;39598005]Granted, but the wish is not Corrupted.

I wish for a Lollipop and a Hotdog.[/QUOTE]

Granted but the flavours are swapped.

I wish for 200 pounds.

[Oskutin]

You weight now 200pounds more.

I wish for...

[TheDevl]

Granted, but you die before you finish the sentence.

I wish for world peace.

[Lolx0rz]

Granted, it lasts for one microsecond.

I wish for some squid.

[TheCreepyPryo]

Squid is poisoned and tastes like bullets

I wish a cat without claws, fangs, and you can't trip over it

[Josef Stalin]

You receive a dead cat whose claws fangs and get-in-your-way ability have been all ripped out.

I wish for world domination...

[Bling1907]

Wish granted, but no one else is left on the planet.

I wish I had the fastest internet connection on the world.

[inaba]

You get that and the strictest parental control in the world.

I wish I was dead.

[Hallos]

Granted, but heaven doesnt accept you.

I wish for a stick.

[TheCreepyPryo]

[QUOTE=Hallos;39602988]Granted, but heaven doesnt accept you.

I wish for a stick.[/QUOTE]
The stick is in your eye

I wish for a washing machine

[brottymon]

Granted, but it's for a diffrent planet.

I wish for a flaming team captian

[Lordgeorge16]

Granted. Your real head lights on fire and you become a charred corpse in moments because you wore a flaming hat in a game.

I wish my new pills didn't fuck up my appetite during the day.

[bishibosh]

Granted, instead a side effect is toxic epidermal necrolysis.

I wish for a cleaning rag that can't get dirty.

[Hallos]

Granted, but it doesn't exist.

I wish that broccoli didn't exist.

[LSK]

Granted, but the definition of broccoli now means your lungs.

I wish I was Chris Redfield of the Resident Evil series.

[ironman17]

Granted; you get put in a shit game.

I wish that none of the coming meteors will hit Yellowstone.

[LSK]

Granted, the Yellowstone supervolcano erupts.

I wish Claire Redfield would materialize in my room.

[Mystlight]

Granted, but she doesn't like you
I wish I had mario kart 7

[That Deer]

Granted, but you lost your 3DS.

I wish for more free time.

[TheDevl]

Granted, but you had to commit suicide to get it.

I wish my family wasn't just a bunch of cock-eating twats.