it's this awful ironic ""story"" I wrote like two years ago. I was a different person two years ago.
so basically I was with my friend's cousin's dad's uncle's grandma's brother who just happens to be Gabe Newell's sister who just so happens to be the man himself, Bernie Sanders (29M). now one of Bernie Sander's favorite hobbies, besides being President of the United States, is cosplay. So we went to a cosplay convention in poland. Bernie Sanders cosplayed as himself, while I cosplayed as my all time favorite anime character and waifu, Ellon Musk. anyway we were flying 1st class in an airplane (my man Sanders has some contacts), when I saw Ryan Gosling (67F). I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I turned away and continued with my flying. that's when things got knocked into 12th gear. suddenly, a loud crash was heard in the 2nd class level. "stupid 99% peasants." I thought to myself, as someone of the 1%, thinking they were just stumbling around tripping over themselves. that's when a man wearing an assless fursuit in the seat in front of me stood up.
"EVERYONE STAY CALM. WE HAVE OVER 50 POUNDS OF C4 ON THIS PLANE, READY TO BE DETONATED ON THE FIRST SIGHT OF RETALIATION. WE ARE TAKING A SLIGHT DETOUR TO UKRAINE." like whatever that means. however, the man still continues blabbering nonsense. "HOWEVER, WE ARE NOW TAKING APPLICATIONS TO JOIN OUR TERRORIST ORGANIZATION. BUT SPACE IS LIMITED AND WE ARE ONLY CHOOSING ONE PERSON FROM EACH LEVEL. SPEAK UP NOW IF YOU WANT TO JOIN." and that's when Ryan Gosling stood up.
"actually, I think we should interview each person individually to prevent any electrical infetterence." Ryan Gosling said, turning around and winking at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. The terrorist tried to reject that idea, but Ryan Gosling kept interrupting him by yawning really loudly. By the power of Gosling, the terrorist had no choice but to interview each person for joining their terrorist organization. this moment struck some strings in peoples hearts, and they even made a religion about Ryan Gosling. they called it "The Holy Gosling According to Ryan". anyway I think I blacked out at that point or something, because the last thing I remember was blackness. I woke up in a field, with charred remains everywhere. then a helicopter suddenly lands in front of me. I read the side of it. "Trump Administrative Services" and I start shaking. like literally shaking. I couldn't even. of all the people who could save me, it just happens to be the 21st century Hitler. the next thing i hear is "o shit is that steve jobs? he's the guy trying to get to mars! he also invented the Ethernet!" before blacking out again. I then wake to the smell of fap and disappointment, and see myself face to face with the 21st century Hitler (86M).
"you're in biglyly tremendous amounts of trouble, Mr. Husk" he says, waving hobbit sized hands around everywhere."however. i can get you out of this trouble. you need to do only one thing. and it's the best thing. believe me. they'll be talking about this for generations. you're the kind of man we need to build a wall around earth. I believe you have the stamina. my other engineers did not have the stamina. Picasso did not have the stamina. Walt Disney did not have the stamina. I, did not have the stamina. but you do." that's when his brains and skull splattered everywhere. his head smacks onto his desk, and behind him I see the smoky muzzle of a gun and Bernie Sanders face.
"do you feel the bern now, mutha fucka??" Bernie Sanders said, tea bagging the dead body.
"Bernie Sanders! I thought you were dead! I thought-" but Bernie Sanders chuckles.
"the aeroplane crashed in Ukraine due to high amounts of electrical infetterence." I still don’t even think that’s a word. but Bernie Sanders continues, " I grabbed you and parachuted before it happened. also I saved the world and legalized ranch. come now, we have no time for gawking. we have a party in the president of ukraines' house. " as we were walking there we happen to run into the president of ukraine walking his dog. now, I love dogs, and i was willing to finish his walk while he and Bernie Sanders went back to his house. as we were walking i was attacked by some savage man. I was beaten to a bloody pulp and near death, and the savage man casually drags my body behind a gas station. the man pulls out a camcorder.
"alright buddy ima tell you to do somethin' and you do it, or else ya get killed. deal?" i try to nod. "good. now rail that dog right there." and like a logical, sane, high I.Q person that I am, I say:
"sure thing pal."
I mean what am i, some kind of savage? i wasn't about to die right then and there after all I've been through. but that man went on to become the founder of CNN. Bernie Sanders clapped, Walt Disney clapped, Picasso clapped, and the whole entirety of the continent of Ukraine claps. and i think to myself, what a wonderful world.
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">Spooky  Member</p>
I was messing around with the example css that oicano gonzales put in the forums discussion thread
I'll probably make that my title after I hit gold
